I think:
Rolp is an expert latex shiner for Westwardbound. He does such a good job they've used his arse in all their advertising campaigns
Resonance is a proof reader for the Beano, the Dandy tried to head hunt him but he was so intent on wearing his Gnasher outfit to work every day they decided that his six pack was too big for the Bananaman outfit so gave it up as a bad joke.
Splendid is a master painter... specialising in Artex... although with her builders bum look she could be mistaken for a brickie, especially when she can be seen lounging around in the fireplace!
Earthchild is the person who actually cooks all the food on the food channel but they pass it off as their own cause she's in hiding from Ainslie Harriet.
Poshkate is a fairy princess and works for Christian Dior but steals all the sample dresses when no-one is looking and she's on the run from the fashion police.
Markz is an unemployed cleaner, they had to close the public toilets in Beds because he kept rubbing excrement on the walls to keep himself in a job. It was a shit job though.
Me, I'm a skiver!
That would be 50.00 quid geezer 
and a 