Swinging Heaven was rocked to the very foundation today when the Forum was suddenly transmogrified into a many headed beast, akin to the Hydra.
Mortals were confounded at the news and reporters rushed to the SH den of iniquity for a response from aghast members.
"Bleeuurrrghhh!" was the general response with occasional outbursts of "ooooh!" and the rather more interesting "I blame asylum seekers."
SH Mod, Mal of Fulsome Defined Cheeks, stated "Just give it a bit of time and see how things go."
Another SH member who preferred to remain anonymous said "We fear change" and looked very spookily into the camera while the music from Psycho played in the background.
Experts reckon the issue will be endlessly debated back and forth for the next few weeks before eventually being replaced by a thread about the best colour for pyjamas, whether it is admirable or just wrong to be able to perform oral sex on oneself, and handy hints on how to macrame yourself a merkin.
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The News
16th Apr 2009 - 9:40pm
Are you sure you've posted this in the right place? 
Cubes wrote:
Methinks Res may be spending a considerable amount of his time in this particular forum.
Methinks Res may be spending a considerable amount of his time in this particular forum.
I'm staying here! I ain't going anywhere else, you may as well call this "Res's sexless corner of mirth" or "Old Twat Banging On" or something catchy...
SUNDAY APRIL 19th
The news at 7.20. With Res and our blonde, vapid Swedish weathergirl, Sue King-Svenoff.
Today is Dirty Girly's Birthday. She is at least 41. Although revellers at her birthday bash last night would not have known that fact due to the incredible lengths she has gone to to obscure the fact. Fans of the Scottish vixen are well aware of the fact that she was the second gunwoman on the grassy knoll and not only that, but it was she that arranged and organised the faking of the moon landing. A legacy from her nightmare time aboard the Titanic. A close personal friend of Queen Victoria, she shunned polite society and Victorian morals to pose topless for the first edition of The Times Newspaper. Previous to that she was a secret lover of Henry VIII and was rumoured to have been the inspiration behind the Scot's uprising at Bannockburn. This of course came after her spell as Moses second in command at the parting of the seas. However the rumours of her being one of the "wise men" to visit Jesus, were self-evidently, wide of the mark.
Dirty Girly's secret was blown when on 31st December 1999, she said that this millennium was "a bit crap" and "nowhere near as good as any of the other ones she'd been to."
Close friend Angel Chat stated "She isn't old, just pickled." The whole sorry situation reached a satisfying conclusion when she was allowed to spend her birthday money on some shoes.
More news to follow.
The news at 7.20. With Res and our blonde, vapid Swedish weathergirl, Sue King-Svenoff.
Today is Dirty Girly's Birthday. She is at least 41. Although revellers at her birthday bash last night would not have known that fact due to the incredible lengths she has gone to to obscure the fact. Fans of the Scottish vixen are well aware of the fact that she was the second gunwoman on the grassy knoll and not only that, but it was she that arranged and organised the faking of the moon landing. A legacy from her nightmare time aboard the Titanic. A close personal friend of Queen Victoria, she shunned polite society and Victorian morals to pose topless for the first edition of The Times Newspaper. Previous to that she was a secret lover of Henry VIII and was rumoured to have been the inspiration behind the Scot's uprising at Bannockburn. This of course came after her spell as Moses second in command at the parting of the seas. However the rumours of her being one of the "wise men" to visit Jesus, were self-evidently, wide of the mark.
Dirty Girly's secret was blown when on 31st December 1999, she said that this millennium was "a bit crap" and "nowhere near as good as any of the other ones she'd been to."
Close friend Angel Chat stated "She isn't old, just pickled." The whole sorry situation reached a satisfying conclusion when she was allowed to spend her birthday money on some shoes.
More news to follow.
