Do having children cause sex to decline?

I have heard many times that men sexually are at their peak between the ages of 20-35 and for women its 40-60. I am unsure if I believe this or it is down to circumstances.

I have spoken to friends about this and we all seem to be in agreement that during the times when your children are young and needy sex seems the last thing on a women’s mind, looking back I don’t think it is a conscious thought, but just one that happens.

Once my children were older around 11-12 where their demands on a mum were not as demanding as younger, I seem to come alive sexually again, which coincides with around the 40 years of age.
Life begins at 40 a say goes, maybe this is what the meaning applies too.

I have spoken to my hubby about this, his take is that could be true, he said around the age of 35 he gave up trying and when it did happen, it seemed more a gift I was giving him as a treat and not as passionate as it used to be.

Just a thought as I have often wondered why younger men prefer older women and older women prefer younger men, this could be an unconscious factor.
I personally have always prefer men around my own age to meet as they seem to understand at this age sex is to be enjoyed and appreciated by all parties.

I have found around the age of 40 sex more pleasurable relaxed and enjoyable, we are old enough to have the experience, but not to old to enjoy it.

So anyone reaching 40 look forward to it and I believe life really does being at 40.

It doesnt happen over night

Open your mind up believe in yourself i did around 42ish and now there is no stopping me.

I am not just talking just sexually.

I have read your posts to loads of threads you are so like me in a lot of ways when I was around your age,
finding ourselves after motherhood can be difficult or we just take stock and give ourselves a pat on the back.

I am sure it will come, just believe in yourself, what I have read you have done yourself proud just hold your head high and be proud.

A woman definitely loses her interest in sex when she's given birth. Her mind is too preoccupied with the care for the little one and her body too tired from the demands of labour, disrupted sleep and the huge change to her routine.

Men don't understand this, because they get a time span when their pregnant wives are gagging for sex (hormones do that) and then they get totally blanked out. It is common for men to seek consolation in another woman's arms and relationships break down just when it is most important to nurture them!

Your theory about a woman having finished with child rearing at 40 makes sense but nowadays more and more women have children at a ripe age and suffer the ill effects in their sexuality later on in life.

I would say that a woman in her 40s has had time to experiment, do silly things with her life, learn from mistakes, build a career or raise a family, get the basic worries sorted (e.g. income, roof over her head, etc.) so she is finally free to enjoy herself without guilt or stress (at 40 you no longer worry about getting pregnant because you are an expert at contraception).

Don't know if it is a good idea to pair up younger men with older women, though. I think we need to make room in our lives for love and understanding.

I didn't lose interest after giving birth.

Having sex causes children, of that I'm pretty sure.

Does having children cause sex to decline?

It gets worse when they are older because they stay up later and by the time they have gone to bed your too tired to do anything!

We still manage to persuade my 17-yr old that 9:30 is late enough for a growing lad . We've recently had cause to enjoy some lunchtime naughtiness while Mr Stuff is off sick <koff koff>, but that will end come the summer holidays .

I guess the phrase 'life begins at 40' harks back to a time when by the age of 40, your kids really were leaving home. It also made you think about how much better things were going to get when all you could see was being a parent forever and wrinkles etc appearing. Kind of like a carrot to get you through the tough times

Note to self.... must remember to fix the headboard to the wall.

Let's face it.... if kids really put the mockers on your sex life then we'd all be only children.

I sooooooooooooooo agree with that. As they get older still they stay up later than you, or suddenly arrive home earlier than expected. Trying to have a sexlife with older childeren in the house is extremely difficult. To have been caught by your parents when you are young is one thing but to be interrupt by the sudden arrival of your childreen is someting else.