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As an example the the inhabitants of Dubai do not find the character of Fred Flintstone in any way offensive , but Abu Dhabi do.
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The United States Secretary of Defense was giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.â€
“OH NO!†the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!â€
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?â€
“OH NO!†the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!â€
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?â€
A young boy goes into his parents room late at night and he sees them shagging.
The kid says to his dad " what are you doing?"
"We're making you a little brother or sister" is his dads reply...
" well couldnt you turn her over and do her doggy style... id prefer a puppy instead" says the lad.
The kid says to his dad " what are you doing?"
"We're making you a little brother or sister" is his dads reply...
" well couldnt you turn her over and do her doggy style... id prefer a puppy instead" says the lad.
a woman comes home from work to find her husband blow drying his penis,
"what on earth are you doing " she says,
he replies "just heating up your dinner love"
..................................................
wife says to her husband "you make love like you decorate"
"oh" her husband replies "yu mean slowely and professionally?"
"no" she says " because i have to finish the job off myself"
xx fem xx
"what on earth are you doing " she says,
he replies "just heating up your dinner love"
..................................................
wife says to her husband "you make love like you decorate"
"oh" her husband replies "yu mean slowely and professionally?"
"no" she says " because i have to finish the job off myself"
xx fem xx
An ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'
Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as
well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire
that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy
now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and
whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'
Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as
well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire
that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy
now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and
whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to goup there, find the owner, apologise and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh....yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'
Wow, that's great!' the husband said .. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do and I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'
'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right.
Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
you, honey?'
You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and
looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly..
'No Kidding,' he said. 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh....yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'
Wow, that's great!' the husband said .. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do and I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'
'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right.
Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
you, honey?'
You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and
looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly..
'No Kidding,' he said. 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?'
A husband goes into the bedroomand ask his wife if she would do ahand stand naked in front of the full length mirror,
she thought about it, think it a bit kinky but agreed,
so she did it ,
the husband walked over to her and pull her legs apart then put his chin on her pussy and said,
'the lads at the pub were right agoatee would suit me'.
she thought about it, think it a bit kinky but agreed,
so she did it ,
the husband walked over to her and pull her legs apart then put his chin on her pussy and said,
'the lads at the pub were right agoatee would suit me'.
Guy goes home to find his wife standing there in some very sexy undies. She says "You can do anything you desire". So he takes her by the hand, leads her upstairs and ties her to the bed. Then he leaves, goes round and fucks her sister, and goes fishing for the rest of the night 
LOL Fluff
The Chief Exec of an NHS trust discovers they have a Psychiatric care team. Seeing an opportunity to cut costs he phones the Head of the Psychiatric team and asks how they decide when a patient is so out of touch with reality they need to be admitted to hospital.
Easy says the shrink, we show them a bath of water and then give them a bucket and a spoon and ask them to empty the bath.
Ahhh says the Chief Exec and the sane ones use the bucket.
No says the shrink the sane ones pull the plug out ---would you like a room with a view?
The Chief Exec of an NHS trust discovers they have a Psychiatric care team. Seeing an opportunity to cut costs he phones the Head of the Psychiatric team and asks how they decide when a patient is so out of touch with reality they need to be admitted to hospital.
Easy says the shrink, we show them a bath of water and then give them a bucket and a spoon and ask them to empty the bath.
Ahhh says the Chief Exec and the sane ones use the bucket.
No says the shrink the sane ones pull the plug out ---would you like a room with a view?
Spring is here and our native birds are finding food scarce, please go to the pet shop and buy a bag of nuts for our feathered friends.
There is no finer sight on a spring morning than a pair of tits around your nut sack.
Just remember however its a bit early in the year to expect a swallow.
There is no finer sight on a spring morning than a pair of tits around your nut sack.
Just remember however its a bit early in the year to expect a swallow.
Felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw on stage the other night. He put seven rugby players in a trance, then the stupid idiot dropped his microphone and said 'fuck me'
God the screams will haunt me for the rest of my life......
God the screams will haunt me for the rest of my life......
A man goes to confession and sais 'forgive me father, last night I made love to twins, half my age and in positions I think are illegal, over and over again'.
The priest thinks for a few minutes and replies 'buy seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass, drink it'.
'will this cleanse me of my sin?' asked the man.
'No, replies the priest 'but it will wipe that fucking smile off your face'
The priest thinks for a few minutes and replies 'buy seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass, drink it'.
'will this cleanse me of my sin?' asked the man.
'No, replies the priest 'but it will wipe that fucking smile off your face'
Wife calls hubby "ive run out of petrol, i'm scared to fill up because of swine flu"
Hubby replies "you daft bint, its in mexaco not texaco!"
Hubby replies "you daft bint, its in mexaco not texaco!"
Wife helping hubby set up a computer. For a password, he types MYPENIS.
Wife falls off the chair laughing when the computer displays PASSWORD REJECTED - NOT LONG ENOUGH.
Wife falls off the chair laughing when the computer displays PASSWORD REJECTED - NOT LONG ENOUGH.
Sex therapists say the most effective way a woman can arouse a man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears.
Personally I think it's bollocks!!
Personally I think it's bollocks!!
Bloke walks into a pub and asks the barman for 12 whisky's. The barman lines them up and watches him knock them back. "bloody hell mate, what's the celebration?"
"Ive just had my first blow job" he replies.
"Congratulations" sais the barman, "let me buy you another"
"Fuck that, if 12 doesn't take the taste away, 13 aint gonna!"
"Ive just had my first blow job" he replies.
"Congratulations" sais the barman, "let me buy you another"
"Fuck that, if 12 doesn't take the taste away, 13 aint gonna!"
Great stuff Minxy!ty cherrytree xx here's another 
Paddy on death row is given the chance to be either shot, hung or injected with the aids virus.
He thinks it over and sais "give me the aids stuff."
They inject him and he rolls round on the floor laughing. The warden says "what's so bloody funny?"
Paddy replies "I'm wearing a condom!"
Paddy on death row is given the chance to be either shot, hung or injected with the aids virus.
He thinks it over and sais "give me the aids stuff."
They inject him and he rolls round on the floor laughing. The warden says "what's so bloody funny?"
Paddy replies "I'm wearing a condom!"
OK this is not a joke, but I like it.
Blurfelt spoke, “Welcum Mr Bond. It is good we have put aside are differences.â€
Blurfelt continued to run his hand over the shaggy mass in his lap. “Nice pussy.†said 007.
Fatima blushed, but managed to strike a pose. She had just emerged from the shower and was standing behind Blurfelt. Bond continued to gaze at Fatima. Blurfelt sensing something quickly turned to see what Bond was looking at. As he did Pussy’s teeth cut across Blurfelt’s cock. Blurfelt cursed and put his hand to his bleeding rod, then wished he had not.
Pussy Galore had never bitten a man while giving him a BJ before. Bond smiled to himself. Partly because anyone who planed to die bromide tablets blue and hand them out to men at the SH annual general meet, and partly because Blurfelt was not going to be doing anything tonight.
Pussy Galore was standing horrified at what she had done to Blurfelt, but showing off her airstrip to good effect. Bond planed to make some landing to night. He had saved the male SHers from a terrible fate, now it was time for his reward.
Blurfelt spoke, “Welcum Mr Bond. It is good we have put aside are differences.â€
Blurfelt continued to run his hand over the shaggy mass in his lap. “Nice pussy.†said 007.
Fatima blushed, but managed to strike a pose. She had just emerged from the shower and was standing behind Blurfelt. Bond continued to gaze at Fatima. Blurfelt sensing something quickly turned to see what Bond was looking at. As he did Pussy’s teeth cut across Blurfelt’s cock. Blurfelt cursed and put his hand to his bleeding rod, then wished he had not.
Pussy Galore had never bitten a man while giving him a BJ before. Bond smiled to himself. Partly because anyone who planed to die bromide tablets blue and hand them out to men at the SH annual general meet, and partly because Blurfelt was not going to be doing anything tonight.
Pussy Galore was standing horrified at what she had done to Blurfelt, but showing off her airstrip to good effect. Bond planed to make some landing to night. He had saved the male SHers from a terrible fate, now it was time for his reward.
Paddy and Murphy decide to go to London to donate some sperm! It turned out to be a disaster! Paddy missed the tube and Murphy came on the bus!!
