Me & My Huge Penis

Mount it on a plaque like a mooses head and hang it in pride of place over the fire place

or alternatively use it as a novelty coat peg

Roger....I see in your quest to achieve the 'ultimate' specimen you neglected to do your homework...apparently this kind of genetic modification has side effects...at this moment in time there is no known cure should you start to develop these symptons

Wow... so not only do I now have a todger the size of a cricket bat, but pretty soon my appearance will be upgraded to "pig-ugly"?

Day 5 of my new life

Ah, I know why I'm not getting any replies to my advert - no pictures! My penis is so incredible the women can' t be expected to believe it without photographic proof. Snapped some nice pics of my huge hulking love-handle and put them online; when the women see them, they'll be double-drooling so much they'll have to mail me.

Meanwhile, the stiches are itching a little, which might be down to how much I'm wanking. I hope it's firmly attached; it'd be embarassing if I was choking the chicken one night and my my wand came off in my hand!

Spent another happy few hours surfing the women's ads to get a feel for the kind of girls I'm soon to be enjoying. One of them sounded especially enticing; Jasmine, who wants a really big one shoved so far up her bum she can lick the shaft that buggers her. Reckon I'm just the man for that job!

Ah....Look, my favourite prick is back. Howzit going Rog?
You like the flowers I got you up there? ^ ^ ^

Oh yes, they were very beautiful. They look a bit insignificant next to my new penis, though.

So Roger.
With a cock of that size you must have big balls(specially to print a story like that)
Will you need to use a truss to support your balls, I can reckomend a good company for made to measure truss or trusses!

Not so much a truss...

Ya gonna loose ya street cred with that battered old thing mate.

Try something more sporty and compact like this....

Day 6 of my New Life

Apparently Swinging Heaven is gonna be offline later today. Hopefully they'll fix the email while they're at it - all the messages from juicy women wanting to fuck my newly-elongated penis aren't getting through. Come on guys, do your jobs, you're keeping women from their orgasms here!

Thinking about signing up for my pub's football team. I can't play, but when the other guys see my tackle in the showers after the match, they won't half be impressed!

The girl in the fishmongers must've noticed the bulging crotch of my jeans (note to self: buy new jeans, the old ones are a bit painful!) because she was flirting with me and slicing my cod in a very suggestive way. If SH still haven't fixed my email, think I'll go back tomorrow and let her be a heron to my herring.

Awww......Roger luv, look what you've done.

Didn't the doctor tell you 'surgery stops play' until it's completely healed?

Looks like you've gone and pulled it off now mate

tut...tut.....

Not all of it, just the first 25%.

            
                                                

                                                                                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                                                KinkyLizard