Technical corner........

Here you go Cherry

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How the internet works in semi- rural Cheshire


So my computer has plenty of memory available, been defragnented, is virus free, browsing history deleted, cookies deleted and its actually responding quite quick for a change. So it seems to me, that this is how the internet works in rural Cheshire

1]. I type in my desired website address or search engine requirement
2]. This information then passes along some very dodgy telephone wires to my front door
3]. Just before the front door, the information is intercepted by a very old Franciscan Monk who lives as a hermit in the cupboard by my front door
4] Said Franciscan Monk transcribes information requirement onto the shell of a snail, using wonderful, fully illustrated calligraphy that you would find in a ancient tome.
5] ‘Fully Loaded’ snail sets off down my drive, only to be attacked by the local blackbird.
6] Blackbird tries to eat snail, but in his excitement drops shell
7]Dropped shell lands on the back of a goat being herded to market by the local drover
8] Snail shell falls off goats back, right outside my local telephone exchange
9] Snail crawls into telephone exchange
10] Where information is processed by the speed of light and onto the superhighway
11] Information is gathered
12] whole process is reversed to get the information back to my PC

So my thoughts are this

I pay for a service from BT to provide broadband at speeds of up to 8Mb with unlimited download facility.

Am I paying for something that I haven’t a cats chance in hell of achieving?

Can my computer actually tell me what speed service I am getting or do I need to buy / download software to do that??

Look forward to your responses

Andy

PS loved the make shift communications you have with BT.

Thanks T.mann & Tankinky

I basically think i'm stuffed

my upload was at 350kb/s
My download was at 1462kb/s

I pinged at 86ms

So does that mean The Franciscan Monk theory is correct?

Am I only getting 1.5mb or thereabouts?

so i should be paying for something less right??

Ooo theres a thought. Thanks V, i will get hold of BT ithink and see what they say.

It is just so painfully slow at times

Andy
x

I have a technical question... actually I have several!

1. Firefox... sometimes when I use Facebook it comes up with a "404" google thingy saying page not found?

2. The sound doesn't work on my telly unless I'm on channel EXT2. But I have to turn over to EXT1 so that I can see the cable guide. It's really really annoying!

3. My wireless box seems to have stopped working. I think it's something to do with the lead for it rather than the actual box cause the lead for the broadband thingy works in it as well but obviously one lead for two thinks doesn't work. Can you get a new lead for the wireless box or am I just as well to get a new one?

I think there's something wrong with my hoover too but I'm not sure that's a technical hitch!

ןoן ¿ɹǝʇsɐɟ ʞɹoʍ ןןɐ ʇı ǝʞɐɯ ʇɥƃıɯ ʇı 'uʍop ǝpısdn ɯǝpoɯ puɐ ɹǝʇndɯoɔ ǝɥʇ uɹnʇ noʎ ɟı ʇɐɥʍ ˙˙ʇɥƃnoɥʇ ɹǝɥʇouɐ pɐɥ ʇsnɾ

I have some experience with hoovers too... usually when my mum says she's coming to visit!