Ex-International Footballer/Playboy tired of WAG's (Wives And Girlfriends) now just looking for a quick SHAG (Swinging Heaven And Girlfriends) ;-)

International Supermodels (or anyone with a pulse) need only apply,

For:

Wining (Buckfast),

Dining (Greasy Spoon),

Romancing (Flowers freshly stolen from graveyard),

At my large mansion,

or park bench, back alley (Mansion being redecorated at present) ;-)

I require a lady on the street and a freak in the bed,

Must be able to stuck a golf ball through a straw,

Ride my generous mount, with tight grip all night (90 seconds),

Whilst i watch football and enjoy a kebab (or 3).

In return i offer you the privilege,

of being seen and photography in my mansion (back alley),

Satisfied completely (if you DIY'it),

No expense spared (As long as its aint more than a couple of quid)