Turn ons....non pushy people, cleanliness, open mindedness, honesty, friendship.

Turn offs....aggressive people who cant understand the words 'wait' or 'no', smelly people, bigots, lazy adverts or messages with no imagination.

If you have got this far then hello! We are a happily married couple who are looking for friends and maybe some fun. We are not looking for stunners but a little pride in your appearance will get you further than you think!

NO SINGLE MEN PLEASE. IF WE WANT ONE, WE WILL FIND YOU.

We come as a package; we do not play as singles or alone and same room only. To us, part of the thrill is the visual. Don't ask unless you want to be ignored!

Mrs Lincsnewbie is a beautifully curvy goddess with some fine skills. If you want a size zero xylophone to play with you need to look elsewhere. Mr Lincsnewbie is medium / athletic and knows what to do and where to put it!

If you like what you read so far, please message us! We do have face pics but will only send on receipt of yours. Xxx.