Things To Say When Caught Masturbating
1. I was just cleaning it when it went off.
2. Just Checking for weird bumbs.
Things to say when BabySitting.
1. See that bear over there? Go give him a hug, its Wini The Pohh.
2. Don't come out of your room! Or the mole people will come and kill you!
3. Don't go out side, because if you step on the ground monsters will come from the ground grab you and kill you!
4. Go to bed or i'll kill pikachu!
5. You know why i'm here? Because your parents hate you.
6. Carefull, if you go to sleep, that guy who lives under your bed will eat you.
Things to say when taking a crap.
1. Its a bigin, yup its a bigin.
2. KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!!!!
3. Hey last months corn! And gum!
4. Yall' come look at this before i flush it!
Things to say when your an eldry.
1. Back in my day we didn't need no expensive plastic condoms, we just used skunk tail and called it good.
2. When i was your age we stared at the sun till our eye's came out and our heads set on fire!
3. Im so old my sperm has hair!
Things to say when having sex.
1. I'm losin the mood.
2. Is that hair down there?
3. Are those real?
4. Im gay...
a flabby ass!
6. To sour!
Things to say when camping.
1. Could ya roast my wiener?
2. I need to mark my territory.
PICK UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED...................
1-If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2-I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed
bag.
3-If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
4-How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5-I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your
face.
6-My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
7-Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
8-Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
9-If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,
could
I meet you between the holidays?
10-You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount
you
or eat you!
11-Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
12-Could I touch your bell y button . . . from the inside?
13-I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
14-How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and
I'll
give you the meat.
15-Guy: "Would you like to dance?" Girl: "I don't care for this song
and
surely wouldn't dance with you." Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have
misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"
16-I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
17-Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
18-I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
19-You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light
switch away.
20-Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous
curves
ahead, yield?
21-I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
into
this motel room.
22-Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you < BR>blow
the hell out of me.
23-Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
24-Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
25-I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking
to
you.
26-That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be
coming too.
27-I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat
me to
it.
28-Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
Sex God
