Worst case scenario?

23 Jan 2013

As the male half of Lost I think the the worst case scenario within my swinging world would be for a massive mistake to happen and unknowingly my better half become pregnant with an others child. OK the chances are probably pretty remote but nevertheless there is a possibility that it could happen regardless of the protection taken. What makes this a bigger nightmare for me personally is that I am pretty much anti termination for most circumstances although as a man I feel termination subjects/issues are less a factor I have or should have a say in. but the thought of the scenario puts shivers down my spine.
OK this is a bit on the extreme hypothetical side I guess especially as in our swinging penetrative sex is always rubber covered, though this we know is no absolute guarantee, as well as J having a coil fitted I guess we're pretty much covered as much as we can be for this situation.
I hate it when I see bareback/pregnancy risk type titles in the chatroom and although some might say that most people use these rooms as a fantasy type thing I can't get my head around any enjoyment gained from fantasising about it. If there are, and I guess there will be a few, who do take this sort of thing as more than a fantasy then i'd think they need certifying insane.

I would like to add that I do know that the real worst situation really would be to catch something real nasty in the STI department and die

23 Jan 2013

Seems simple enough to us, you either reappriase your personal morality and be prepared to go down the termination route, or you stick to your guns and raise someone else's child as your own, or you stop having penetrative sex.
We don't see a problem with either as long as it a conscious decision that you are both happy to make.
For the record we have discussed this in detail, and termination would be a no-brainer for us. Some people wouldn't agree and that's fine - their story would be very different if protection failed and they had to raise an unwanted and unplanned child as a product of a sexual encounter with someone they didn't really know.
Hypothetical and extreme certainly, but also a reality, surely this is one of the first things that a couple would discuss.

23 Jan 2013

I never thought that I could have a termination, which is a large factor in us having 3 kids (none of them planned). We decided after the second that we wouldn't have any more, but accidents happen. We discussed termination and I couldn't do it. 9 years later and we have a severely autistic little boy. I know that we could never have known, and no matter how much I absolutely dote on him, on really bad days I can't help but wonder how different our lives would have been if I'd made a different decision.
I would have to be seriously unlucky to get pregnant now and we always practice safe sex with others but I seriously wouldn't hesitate. I don't think I could cope with another one of ours, never mind bringing up someone else's!
For me, worst case swinging scenario (apart from catching something nasty and dying) would be if he fell for someone else and left me. The chances are remote, we are so in love, have complete honesty and trust in our relationship ... but you do hear of it. In reality, if we wanted to play away we would both have every opportunity as we both have to go away on business trips, so there would be more chance of it happening through work than swinging. However, we are so honest that I even tell him if someone's come onto me in the hotel bar, etc. (I think he quite likes that) wink

So now that I've made myself sound really insecure ..... bolt

(I'm really not!)

23 Jan 2013

Quote by HimandHer
Seems simple enough to us, you either reappriase your personal morality and be prepared to go down the termination route, or you stick to your guns and raise someone else's child as your own, or you stop having penetrative sex.
We don't see a problem with either as long as it a conscious decision that you are both happy to make.
For the record we have discussed this in detail, and termination would be a no-brainer for us. Some people wouldn't agree and that's fine - their story would be very different if protection failed and they had to raise an unwanted and unplanned child as a product of a sexual encounter with someone they didn't really know.
Hypothetical and extreme certainly, but also a reality, surely this is one of the first things that a couple would discuss.

Yeah HimandHer I know that my answer to my own question would be the same as your/ Even though I would be compromising my own beliefs we'd be going down the no brainer route to termination too. Guess that makes me a hypocrite in the end but hey I've been called worse. Weird really I guess as if I'd entered into a relationship with a person who had got children by a previous relationship I wouldn't have a problem with that