Quote by naughtynymphos1
Wanted to say to naughtynymphos1, I've seen your photos, I wouldn't change you...
What he say, NN. Actually I'd change just one thing about you...
your location! :twisted:
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Quote by rachel-lane+peaches
is it true monkeys cant read profiles
Rach - they do say if you take an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters and give them an infinite amount of time, they will produce the complete works of Shakespeare.
But for your post I would say 3 monkeys and twelve minutes.
Quote by AndyS-NE
would you be polite to someone if you advertised to buy a lawnmower, but someone contacted you to try and sell you a hedgetrimmer?
I use a Nicky Clark beard trimmer.
Quote by midlandsman1970
if the guys acted correctly and showed some manners then things maybe more pleasant all round. So to ALL the guys who use this site and may read this, please lets help improve our tarnished image.
Personally I've given up replying to the ads because they don't seem to be of any use, even if you do read them and send a nice, polite and appropriate response. Either the poster is a time-waster or they get swomped and more often than not give up, so you lose out anyway.
Quote by Ice Pie
The answer to this whinge is the same as it's always been: Single males who behave like twats do so because they are twats, not because they are single males.
What he said...
Quote by naughtynymphos1
just trying 2 say there are some really nice single guys out there u just have to look about 4 them
NN - LOOK no further!!!
+++ steps off soap box and goes to look for the tar remover +++
Al
ps only kidding Rach :wink:
How bout a ride out headed south somewhere, for us southern based bikers?
Oh yeah, this is mine. Debiwebs your welcome on the back o' mine anytime hun. Just promise to cling on real tight. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :shock:
:shock: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Now is that a cute rear or what? Suzi SV650S. V-twin, so more low down grunt than a pig in knickers. Never gonna break records (well apart from fastest to lose licence maybe?) and still doesn't beat sex. But for gettin' from here to there with a grin from ear to ear can't argue... For instant relief tear along the dotted line.
Now don't make me get out my "wearing leathers" avatar again!
Al
Oh yeah, this is mine. Debiwebs your welcome on the back o' mine anytime hun. Just promise to cling on real tight. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :shock:
:shock: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Now is that a cute rear or what? Suzi SV650S. V-twin, so more low down grunt than a pig in knickers. Never gonna break records (well apart from fastest to lose licence maybe?) and still doesn't beat sex. But for gettin' from here to there with a grin from ear to ear can't argue... For instant relief tear along the dotted line.
Now don't make me get out my "wearing leathers" avatar again!
Al
Quote by Debbiewebs
i have done it again!!! .........some ones beaten me to it! :doh:
Oo you Young's!
Debs gos off to get back to some paper work on here!
That be my bot you're spanking there Debs? Woohoo, the day is looking up already!
:shock: :o :) :DNow be care full!.................... or you will get caught up in me web! :twisted: :twisted:
Promises promises....
or, to put it another way, that's a risk I'm prepared to take..... :twisted: :twisted:
anyway, I have the ultimate web killer in my utility belt (slow bandwidth tee hee)
Quote by Vix
Go by gut instinct.
ALWAYS meet in a public place.
ALWAYS have a mate on call who knows where you are and, if poss, what you are doing.
Agree with Vix - be safe! You can also help yourself by asking for a photo with something in it that you specify. You can ask to speak on the phone and call them (don't have to give your number, but remember to withhold yours if you don't want to give it!). You can also get them to use a webcam to check that they are who they say they are. You can also check their posts on the forum (if they do) - might give you more of a range of info to make up you mind? I also agree with all the comments on meets.
Take care, but most of all, have fun!
Happy huntingCheers
Al
Quote by Silk and Big G
Cybersex is the sensual equivalent of a frozen pizza . If any of you have had a really delicious experience of one , it must mean you either havent had a fresh properly made one for a very long time , or your experience is almost entirely Iceland based.
You know how it goes. 2am and you fancy a nibble of sommat. Gotta take whats in the cupboard...
Nothing wrong if you prefer getting your crust stuffed, but sounds like you didn't bother to read the wrapper and defrost thoroughly first.
Quote by Ms Amber
cyber sex can be good when you find the right, likeminded partner to do it with! Used to do this often when I was into the whole chatroom thing!
Its safe, and if you have a good imagination,...stimulating.
Absolutely agree with that. Once upon a blue moon ago used to frequent a site which went by the adult moniker of doctor and match or sumsuch. Met lots of interesting women in chat but mainly Stateside, which made meeting a touch impractical unless you are looking to boost your frequent flyer miles (take that how you wish!) Cyberer'd with a handful (no pun intended), including a couple of couples and mainly had good, er, clean? fun. Ultimate in safe sex anyhow!
I found that ladies really do tend to appreciate a guy with a good imagination and quick fingers (take that how you wish too). And probably best when one types and one reads and then swop. In the land of the one handed typist the one-eyed snake isn't king...
Amazing how you can connect with someone quite quickly if they are on the same wavelenght. The power of words can be very heady, and there can be an interplay of ideas and responses which is more real and personal than just reading erotic fiction or posts of someone else's encounters.
Doesn't replace or beat the real thing, but hey, somedays you fancy cheese on toast rather than a full roast (again, no pun...)
Al
Quote by Vix
Probably the shower, having spent the best part of the last 20 yrs in the saddle as it were, I know how sweaty those leathers can get.
Well now Vix, if there was an offer of a helping hand to unzip the leathers and scrub those oh-so-hard-to-reach-yourself spots I'd be very tempted..???
Mind you, it might end up with getting sweaty all over again. But a risk I'd be happy to take... :twisted:
Al
Gonna confuse things with the fav song lines thread http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/46140/60.html
... Sometimes I drive so fast, just to feel the danger
I want to scream, it makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love, is it enough to breathe
somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die, Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Pretty much sums it up for me. I started biking last year and now ride around 70 miles a day, rain or shine. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Stand on a train for an hour with a million sweaty bodies? Yum. Not. Now even after the crappiest day in the worldwide history of crappy days it still gives me a grin from ear to ear and here to there. Chasing shadows, dodging rainbows. Acceleration that makes your heart pound. And you get to wear tight leather! :twisted: For instant relief tear along the dotted line.....
What! Sorry, you were prevaricating about the bush for why??? Okay okay, I know it's still not as good as sex, but JFDI comes to mind mate...
Al
any time hun - need a hand to swing that lovely leg over??? Hold on waaaaay tight...
... Sometimes I drive so fast, just to feel the danger
I want to scream, it makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love, is it enough to breathe
somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die, Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Pretty much sums it up for me. I started biking last year and now ride around 70 miles a day, rain or shine. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Stand on a train for an hour with a million sweaty bodies? Yum. Not. Now even after the crappiest day in the worldwide history of crappy days it still gives me a grin from ear to ear and here to there. Chasing shadows, dodging rainbows. Acceleration that makes your heart pound. And you get to wear tight leather! :twisted: For instant relief tear along the dotted line.....
What! Sorry, you were prevaricating about the bush for why??? Okay okay, I know it's still not as good as sex, but JFDI comes to mind mate...
Al
Quote by freckledbird
Can I have a ride on it too please? Pretty please? Pretty please with strawberries and cream?
any time hun - need a hand to swing that lovely leg over??? Hold on waaaaay tight...
Quote by lee jones
Oh god, he's been gone for ages - do you think he's OK? He might be having an allergic reaction to the nut oil as we speak - his balls could be swollen to the size of footballs :shock:
They were that size already
Not actually done the deed as of yet...got distracted by something else, thanks for your concern though! Getting cold feet about the whole 'Nutella experience', any other ideas for lubrication?As I recall, nutella has hazel nuts in it, so this may compensate for the loss of cocoa oils during processing. That said, I wouldn't like to have to explain the stains it would cause in the undercrackers department!
Also, have you thought about the long term colouring effects - the penis and scrote are often a slightly darker colour anyway (for caucasian males) but, with prolonged use, you might well end up being able to answer the adds that ask for cock of a duskier variety...
The point about keeping the dog in the kitchen is well made. But consider too the implications of a string of drooling mutts nose in crotch as you perambulate the local high ways and biways - tempted by the niff of chocolate covered nuts.
BTW, this thread is beginning to sound like an ad for ferrero rocher..
"with these bollox you are really spoiling us..."
Al
Quote by Vix
I hate disappointments.
The thing I havn't got used to is how funny I find cock shots!
btw,nice to see you
Gem. x
Re: the cock shots. When we ran an ad. they never ceased to surprise us. Producing shocked "eek"'s and much giggling. Even tho we must have got 20+ a day.
20 a day sounds like an unhealthy habit! And if you cut back do you get withdrawal symptoms? Maybe thats what the penis patches my spamming "friends" keep offering have in mind. Hey, its my health they are interested in after all not my money. Hmm that'll be right. So what was soo funny? Last turkey in the shop?
Chicken drumstick (shaven)? :shock: Be interested to know, though I don't tend to send those sort of shots myself! 
No, honest ....Al
Quote by Sarah1448
Oiiii
:P You lot been perving at my upper thigh
Hi Sarah
Absolutley. Been wondering how I can get your butterfly to do backflips
: Actually I have a few ideas...
:twisted:
Al
All you have to know is what is on the other side of my body!!!!!!
Sadly not me. Maybe next time I'm west of Milton Keynes I could come find out?
Al
Quote by blonde
I can see a man in a kilt !!!!
Do you think I am developing a "KILT FETISH" ?
Deffinatley cannot see any man in a kilt, no matter how hard i look
Lindaxx
Close your right eye....... he is definately there !!!!
Can you see a guy in a kilt now??? Just to be on the safe side, let me assure you that nothing under my kilt is worn...
Al
p.s. Didn't see any dolphins at first, just thought it looked fishy!
Quote by LadyFeeBee
Well this is what Scotland's weather looks like just now..............
Ho Hum
Fee
XX
Fee - Hi, Ho Hum
seems Scotch mist can be no fun
But though the rain can be a pain
Just shag indoors, It feels the same!
I'm from Crieff originally. Gave up going dogging - kept going rusty! Luv the sun, so now have kilt will travel. Can always spot the Scots on a beach tho - start off light blue and work up to white.
Have a great weekend tho' whatever happens outside!
Hoots
Al
Quote by Libra+Love
Think I'd prefer to see you in a basque. And yes, please do join me :twisted:
It's glorious out there, need loadsa refreshment. TGIF hey?
Sunbathing in a basque? Nah, gotta come off. Sorry it's the rules! tee hee
Sun is shining here too - changed me av, made me feel that summery. Anyone for tennis (can play with me bat AND balls) If you'd like someone to serve drinks and slather you with ambre solaire :twisted: Lib, then ya only have to shout!
Al
Quote by naughtynymphos1
many moon ago b4 i met my hubbie i lived with a guy who was a nurse in the A&E, he used 2 come back with some right stories but my fave was the guy who went in with the digital clock of his gear stich stuck up his arse :shock:
Ewww - thats what you call taking time to go thru the gears! :!: Or perhaps its just a variation of the old phrase "have you got the time on you cock?"
Somehow this thread always had the potential fordisappearing down the obvious track...
Al
Quote by Debbiewebs!
Aldeway!
I'd be very happy to contribute to your pleasure
:twisted: :shock: Did I mention my arms hurt??? Debs me arms hurt, they hurt bad Debs Nasty big kite did drag me off down the field at about 45 miles an hour - in what I thought was a gentle to no breeze
"Kite" sounds like a euphemism to me...! (miss spent euph...) Sure is wasn't an over enthusiastic spell of somat else down that field????
mwwwaa big kiss better anyway...The thing I havn't got used to is how funny I find cock shots!
Hmmm, well, if any of you lovely ladies fancies a giggle, let me know! Always very obliging me
Anyway, sun is shining - long weekend starts here. If anyone wants me I'll be practicing tall dark and sunburnt
in the garden. Anyone need rubbing in???Al
