I thought something different had happened, might be why I am finding the chat rooms a lot of the time now dull and boring.
I have been opening a room for ages now for a laugh and I and the regulars that come in talk to anyone. But we have found of late that there are many there that might not be there but elsewhere I find stupid.
I think it will make me think twice about going on cam to be polite and encourage others all to talk and to get a blank from most.
Gone seem the days where 75% of the room all chat together these days we are lucky to have 10% chatting.
What a shame!
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Theladyisaminx
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 62
United Kingdom
Forum
Quote by TheLovelyOne
I really shouldn't read these threads, I really shouldn't. But I can't help it. Maybe someone with deeper self-knowledge than I have can explain why I do, when it leaves me feeling like it does for so long afterwards.
That's all.
And I made the same mistake Cherry.
I spent yesterday updating my child protection training as I work with young people. It's haunted me all night.
My position is that there's no justification for any level of 'smacking'; please stop.
I would like to say, if me putting up this thread has in anyway upset people that was not my intent.
I can see why such an emotive topic could and perhaps there are some topics that should be left unsaid.
I have topics that have put me outside my comfort zone and have raised threads about them myself.
I only wanted to raise this topic again as to try and put across a somewhat balanced view of something I also don't agree with but have been honest that I have done and my reasons why.
If I have offended or caused upset in anyway I am truly sorry, and will thinking deeply in future on who my words might affect.
Please accept my apologises as it upsets me to think I may of upset others.
Quote by Dirtygirly
Sorry Minxie...should have used lowest common denominator and said 'cunt'. Just trying to be a gentleman......
I think the correct anatomical term is "foo-foo". :thumbup:
:shock: no it is not its a pom pom
You're both wrong... it's a flower!! :giggle:
:shock: You wait until I see him you are in trouble!
I know someone will come around and say its a beetle bonnet you mark my words!
Quote by Dirtygirly
Sorry Minxie...should have used lowest common denominator and said 'cunt'. Just trying to be a gentleman......
I will explain lol
The penis enters the vigina and at the top of the vigina is the cervix beyond that is the uterus(womb)
Large ones can hit the cervix which in turn can hurt, but normally when a woman gets really turned on and gets naturally lubricated well there isnt normally a problem, some positions can be more comfortable than others, plus things stretch to accomodate which retract back after.
A womb does not get affected as it is protected by the cervix.
Hope we areboth clearer now.
Is that a bit like a vagina then?! :giggle:
This thread has completely cracked me up today! Thank you!
Dirty I have been on the floor
I have just realised something lol
He might have been calling me one :shock:
Quote by laterunner
Sorry Minxie...should have used lowest common denominator and said 'cunt'. Just trying to be a gentleman......
I will explain lol
The penis enters the vigina and at the top of the vigina is the cervix beyond that is the uterus(womb)
Large ones can hit the cervix which in turn can hurt, but normally when a woman gets really turned on and gets naturally lubricated well there isnt normally a problem, some positions can be more comfortable than others, plus things stretch to accomodate which retract back after.
A womb does not get affected as it is protected by the cervix.
Hope we areboth clearer now.
Quote by neilinleeds
Not strictly on topic, but for anyone who's not seen it, this is probably the most thorough dismantling of a Labour Minister, and by extension the Government in which she serves, that I've read for a very long time. Pains me to admit it as a lifelong Labour supporter, but the piece just goes to shower how deeply the useless shower of unprincipled twunts running the country have betrayed their core support.
Neil x x x ;)
Who ever wrote that has courage in their own convictions I say well done, about time.
It was not insulting but to the point.
It has left a lot of unanswered questions typical of how people feel today about politicians.
I think it shows power over people is what seems important to most politicians today.
Well this is my opinion, but still I could be wrong.
Quote by laterunner
None of the ladies I have had pleasure with have admitted to taking a really large cock....do these big todgers cause pain on entry, and can the average womb take all if it without hurting? Often wondered.....
I think you will find no womans womb take a todger, you might need to do a bit sex education!
I come on here when feeling in different moods.
I don't just come on because I am feeling horny
I might be in a thinking mood and use the forums
I could be in a mischievous and naughty mood and want to tease people. Mainly in the chat roooms with a bit of light hearted banter
I come on to have a laugh and act stupid and will go on cam doing stupid things.
But I never come on in a bad mood.
I know we have mood symbols on profile but that doesn't really tell you much.
I am in a light frame of mind and feeling a little saucy and cheeky today
What mood are you in?
I don't just come on because I am feeling horny
I might be in a thinking mood and use the forums
I could be in a mischievous and naughty mood and want to tease people. Mainly in the chat roooms with a bit of light hearted banter
I come on to have a laugh and act stupid and will go on cam doing stupid things.
But I never come on in a bad mood.
I know we have mood symbols on profile but that doesn't really tell you much.
I am in a light frame of mind and feeling a little saucy and cheeky today
What mood are you in?
Quote by naughtynymphos1
i have to admit i don't agree with hitting children, we all have our own opinions and this is just mine so i am in no way right but in return i'm not wrong either, but i have 3 children and can honestly say hand on heart i have never raised a had to any of my children, i love my children and the though of inflicting pysical pain on them is something i just can not do, now thats not me saying everyone who has hit their child does not love them as much as i love mine, im not that up my own arse lol i honestly think if i hit one of my kids it would hurt me more than it would themi suppose we just all feel different and thats just how i feel about the subject
theres always alternative ways of getting thro to a child rather than smacking them, i usually take thing away from them that are important to them, like mobile phones which are every kids life line now days lol infact my middle daughter has said to me a few times when i have taken her phone off her as a punishment "can't you just hit me instead?" lol see to her one slap is better than a week without a phone so to me i'm hitting her where it hurts the most and thats the best way to get thro to them
I feel exactly the way you do, it did hurt me more than it hurt my children, my two sons one 18 the other 12 I can only remember smacking, I am struggling here twice maybe I remember smacking my 18 when he was about 2 on the back of the hand because he threw a toy he was holding at a passing car and another time around the age of 8 for lighting paper in a bottle in his bedroom, these were sharp short shock treatments more through fear of what could of happened than anger.
My daughter is another case altogether, she had anger and I knew and could relate where that was coming from, children at school, I dealt with it through teachers, it was all silly comments that she took to heart, because it was from friends it hurt her, and caused her to become angry with us at home.
I could so totally relate to her and felt her pain, as I had the same when I was at school. But how do you deal with emotions at the same time supporting her at school, and having to try dealing with the anger, the only way I could get through to her was to try and get her to hear what we were all saying, we were listening but she when off on a mood couldn't see it and just pushed us, pushed the rules of the house, and all balance went out of the window.
It was at these times I knew the only way to calm her down was to smack, as it defused the situation, I didn’t feel good about it but felt there was no other choice.
Once all had calmed and she saw she had upset me, as I am not afraid to cry in front of my children and I apologised and cuddled her she saw it wasn’t something I wanted to do. We then had a calm base to talk and reason.
So no I am not proud of the fact I have smacked my children but I don't feel guilty either.
Luckily I have not had reason to smack any of my children for ages now, but I also feel very strongly about the government taking away the rights of parents like myself to remove it as a form of (I don't know what you want to call it, control some would say, punishment others,) I will let you make up your own minds.
Quote by flower411
I have had to cancel a meet before with a regular guy, he was fine about it, we just arranged it for a week later, if you know someone they would know you are not messing them about.
Really minx ??? :shock: You think we can use our own judgement ??? What an interesting idea .... shouldn`t we just expect somebody else to molly coddle us through the whole experience and tell us who to meet ??
I do very well on my own thanks
Quote by kentswingers777
I don't understand the distinction between an acceptable smack and unacceptable abuse.
I would say an acceptable smack is when all other feeling you have for a child are positives a children when sitting after would reflect on the positives and negatives and weigh up what has just happened.
abuse is when a children has very little positives from their parents to draw from.
This is how I see the difference, I don’t mean it as a form to justify my actions.
Minx you seem to be missing the most important point here......it is ILLEGAL to smack your kids, which leaves a mark. It is ILLEGAL to emotionally abuse your child.
That is the law, no matter what you or I say to the contrary. Try smacking your child in front of a social worker, and say that you are being positive.
They will have your child taken away quicker than you can say......ouch.
777 I think you are missing the point, we have to understand that people have different views for different reasons.
Ben asked a question and I believe we have an understanding in how we both would see things differently, what you keep doing is boxing people to fit left or right without listening to why and how opinions are form. I am not asking for people like ben to agree with me, but am just giving him a different view for a different reason.
The things about this country is nobody listens, to listen is to learn, I am just listening to ben at this moment.
Minx this is NOT about opinions.....it is about the law of the land. The law social workers act upon.
There is no right or wrong things here. On this occasion I am dealing with hard facts. Whatever your reasons or anybodys elses about smacking, it is illegal.
You have said you feel it is ok to smack your child, and I agree with you, it is just that the law will not.....and I should know, as am going through something very similar right now.
Kent I do hear what you are saying and I agree.
What we can't keep doing with law is to tarnish everyone with the same brush, I personally would like the law changed as I don't want it as a carrot for children to dangle over parents heads that are trying to do the best with their children. I don’t believe that one negative with some many positives within the family home should have their children removed because of the one negative, but to see the overall picture. but I can not change the law, but I would be happy to fight my case in the courts if it ever come to that.
All I am trying to do here is give people that possibly see things a certain way a balance on how I see it, the only way things get changed is if people have both side of an opinion to ponder over, then can form their own opinions based on a more informed choice.
Ben sorry to use you here but you have total different views as to myself, and I can totally respect and understand how your opinion has been formed, no opinion is right or wrong but if we can see how our own opinions are formed we might just see some common ground in the middle to agree on.
Unless people can see both sides we are all stuck in believing what it is we believe, nothing moves we all stay the same, ok I might be wasting my time here.
But do you know what I don't believe people are so stuck in their ways to always think themselves as being right.
I don't have the answers but if someone asks me a question I will answer it honestly, but I am not saying it is right. I let others form their own opinions.
So we agree on this one Kent we just go about it a different way.
Quote by Dirtygirly
Blimey and I thought I thought about stuff too much!! :shock: :giggle:
Doesn't anyone have any common sense any more? Or is my world too black and white and Kenty's is too left and right??
I think I'm missing a lot but this is making my brain hurt!
We could set up a brain draining club.
And you could bring the floppy stick held together with cellotape.
Dirty the story of the stick was so funny I was crying.
Quote by kentswingers777
I don't understand the distinction between an acceptable smack and unacceptable abuse.
I would say an acceptable smack is when all other feeling you have for a child are positives a children when sitting after would reflect on the positives and negatives and weigh up what has just happened.
abuse is when a children has very little positives from their parents to draw from.
This is how I see the difference, I don’t mean it as a form to justify my actions.
Minx you seem to be missing the most important point here......it is ILLEGAL to smack your kids, which leaves a mark. It is ILLEGAL to emotionally abuse your child.
That is the law, no matter what you or I say to the contrary. Try smacking your child in front of a social worker, and say that you are being positive.
They will have your child taken away quicker than you can say......ouch.
777 I think you are missing the point, we have to understand that people have different views for different reasons.
Ben asked a question and I believe we have an understanding in how we both would see things differently, what you keep doing is boxing people to fit left or right without listening to why and how opinions are form. I am not asking for people like ben to agree with me, but am just giving him a different view for a different reason.
The things about this country is nobody listens, to listen is to learn, I am just listening to ben at this moment.
Quote by benrums0n
Perhaps thats why im so against smacking cos i didnt have the positives as a kid.
Ben I do agree the balance of a smack should always be totally out weighted by positives, and give some explaination as to why some feel that is has not done them harm, while others feel so strongly the other way.
There are two other things that make me ponder.
When do kids get too old to be smacked?
Ben I think they can see why you have smacked them and they come to realise that you do have to live within certain guildlines within the family unit.
I believe a lot of children do it as a form to test the water, once they get older they are more able to control their own emotions, feelings etc so all becomes calmer within their own lives.
Does anyone smack their adult friends or adult family members?
No ben I have the choice to be around adults so I can walk away from these situations but I can't walk away from my children
Plus adults should know how to treat others as to not to want to entice such a reaction.
Quote by benrums0n
I don't understand the distinction between an acceptable smack and unacceptable abuse.
I would say an acceptable smack is when all other feeling you have for a child are positives a children when sitting after would reflect on the positives and negatives and weigh up what has just happened.
abuse is when a children has very little positives from their parents to draw from.
This is how I see the difference, I don’t mean it as a form to justify my actions.
Quote by kentswingers777
See Minx.
So we don’t take into consideration the positives when dealing with our children love, compassion, affection, understanding, the willingness as a parent to listen to children’s views, to teach respect, to help them overcome problems, keen to support them in chosen aims ideas sports, to let them form their own opinions, to support them to be the person they want to be, to instil in them never to judge, to abide by the law, I could go on.
But we are judged on one negative. :shock:
That seems fair and a balanced view
Well I am glad I have brought mine up with an open minded approach, there is never just a right or wrong, left or right, black or white there are some things that are not the simple.
Quote by kentswingers777
Ive never beaten mine and they seem to have turned out OK.
I suppose Im just lucky.
It did cause one problem though, my sons step father was fond of bullying my son, mostly emotionally but the odd sly slap punch and poke. I knew it was going on and did my best to support my son through it all without resorting to Social Services. I managed to curtail the physical aspects but the emotional stuff carried on despite my best efforts.
It all came to a head when my son was 14 and responded to a jibe by the step father by telling him he was an absolute twat who didn't know how to behave as an adult human being. The step father punched my son in the face. My son retaliated and punched the chap squarely on the jaw knocking him to the ground.
I often wonder if I had beaten the boy more regularly would he have been able to cope better.
:shock: I have never beaten mine either.
Beaten means: to strike repeatedly
Oh dear Minxy.....saying comments like that will now have all the " lefties " out, stating that a smack IS abuse...mark my words.
But you have me down as one of those.
How does that work then?
Have I alienated myself again by not fitting into one of two boxes?
Quote by Dave__Notts
Dave I see common sense is a mixture of knowledge and expierance.
Agree, thats what I said
Dave I see common sense as being independent of specialised training but something that is there from expiernaces and knowledge that is gained from life’s education and that we can draw a judgement from to deal with a situation.
Agree, thats what I said
Babies will not have it, as they have no previous experiences or knowledge to draw from
Agree, thats what I said
, but I would expect adults to have some.
Now you lost me. If someone has never had an experience or been taught (includes teaching, educating, training, etc) something......how would they ever know?
So I can see how it can't be taught, as our expierances and knowledge differ from person to person.
Lost me again sorry. Are we on about common sense or training for management now?
So I do believe in common sense.
See first "Lost me"
Dave_Notts
I am confused now too!
I thought you were saying you did not believe in common sense, sorry I might have mistook what you said and that we might agree lol
I did say I believe most adults should have a degree of common sense, it could be by knowledge taught or own expierances. To have both would give you a greater sense of common sense but as adults we must all surely have some at least.
