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Theladyisaminx
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 62
United Kingdom
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by anais
I still a newbie here tbh, but i realy want to do some cottaging, man on man, i dont how to go about this or any good locations for this in somerset area, do i stand in a bog and wank infront f the urinal or is there a code to look for i would apprecaite some adivce here thanks redface

Hiya and :welcome: to the forum - hopefully someone will give you a sensible answer at some point...
Have you tried google? Might find some groups that's devoted to the subject? groups - have all sorts of weird an wonderful subjects covered.
I just googled it as I didn't want to seem stupid in asking! redface
Wikipedia has all the answers! wink
Welcome to the forums too! wave
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Peanut
Peanut whilst I agree with most of the things you have said there really was no sign about the death of my friend.
Over the years people like his girlfriend and his Father and friends both from work and golf buddies, never spotted anything.

Sorry, I did try to make it clear that I wasn't talking about every instance, but it also has to be noted that just because someone doesn't see signs does not mean that there aren't/weren't any.
I only saw him a few days before and he was his usual self. We all tried after wards to see if there had been any signs, but nobody could see anything untoward about his behaviour.
Maybe his case is not the " norm ", if that is the right word, but we trully never saw a thing. I say it was selfish as he left no note, nothing at all to give his close family some answers, and his Father was devastated. His son has had his own issues over the years as anyone can imagine, and on that basis, and that basis alone, I think he was selfish.

It's only selfish when viewed from the side of the living. A depressive and suicidal person does not see it from that PoV, in fact it's not unusual for the suicidal person to view the people around them as being selfish because they are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't see what's wrong.
I'm not saying that is a justifiable viewpoint, but it is difficult for a person who's never suffered try depression to understand what it's like.
True depression is not just a feeling of being down or sad, and it's not the sort of thing that people can "snap out of it" or "pull yourself together". True depression means that one's brain chemistry is totally altered and as such it changes one's perceptions of the outside world. To a depressive suicide is not an easy way out, it's not a selfish act. To them it's the ONLY answer left.
At least with Bones Sister she has the chance to find out why and maybe get her the help she so obviously needs, for us we never had that chance.

Peanut what you say I feel is so true, I have been down deep in that dark hole. It feels a bit like you are in a whirl pool that is spinning you out of all control and reasoning.
After the death of my baby 14 years ago I could see no way out, I knew I was at the lowest ebb of my life, I didn’t want to tell people close to me that I loved, how I truly felt, I wanted to protect them from feeling my hurt and pain. I didn’t want people to pity me or I didn’t want sympathy, I wanted to cope alone. People around me kept asking how I felt, I would say fine and put on a brave face.
The night before the funeral I sat pulling my hair out alone I couldn’t sleep I got out ever bottle of pain killers counting every tablet, with a feeling that I couldn’t cope any longer, I had no one to talk to no where to turn, but I had a three year old son at that moment his image came into my mind, he was my saviour, not my husband or my parents who I love dearly.
This was my darkest hour, I called every support group I could find in the yellow pages just talking to someone I didn’t know all night got me though that night.
And I have survived I wasn’t brave enough to take the last step, and I have vowed never in life would I end up there again. Good has come out of that bad as I now know how valuable life is and no matter what happens I know I will survive and I keep happy it is so easy to do and feels so much better than being sad.
I have only told my parents and husband this recently and I am happy to share it will you all, as hopefully it could make others see they are not alone.
Thanks bone for raising this issue.
I hope it makes those that feel helpless, know that sometimes there is nothing you can do, or could have seen, so don't feel guilty.
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Looking at it from the other side....how many people accept someone's apology TOO readily?
Someone could apologise to you and you can either accept it but pass it off( ie it's fine, no problem ) so not really mean it, you can accept it but clear the air properly to get things back on track or just turn your back on them and their apology.
It's easier to accept sorry than to say it and I'd bet most people would take the first way

I would always say sorry in good faith after thought and consideration for the other party, if I felt it wasn’t accepted them I believe there isn't much more you can do.
Take an example I had a friend once that I helped a lot, I helped her move on a few occasions, I decorated her house for her and because I missed a date with her to go out for a meal I was never forgiven. I apologised on a few occasions I called her a few times to sort this matter out, I met her at a BBQ and put my arms around her and said am I forgiven. Then to be shrugged off and ignored, to me now I can not be bothered to try anymore that’s it the end of a friendship in my mind. You shouldn’t have to work so hard in keeping a friend, I have others so I have moved on, yes it hurts but I guess it is her lose and not mine.
I would always accept an apology if I felt it was given in good faith.
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
On the subject of apologies, these were the first things that came to mind....
1)Theres a difference between saying sorry because you think you should....and other people thinking that you should .
2)Different scenarios demand different types of apology too.
3)What matters is the sincertey of the apology and what exactly one is apologising for.
4)Then again, one can apologise in good faith, and the recipient is too pig headed to accept the apology was sincere.
I could go on.....
personally, Im wondering what this thread is about...
I aplogised to someone on another thread yesterday, so thought I would start this up.
No other reason! wink
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
yes, and i have only this morning, to a my best friend of 20 years after i said some things on friday that I regret now.

Hopefully best friends know you are without you even having to say it! wink
Hope it is accepted!
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by markz
Don't mind me I'm just ugly....... rolleyes

I have already apologised to you! lol
Am I ever going to be forgiven?
Btw is that a new signature you have? rolleyes
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Honeypotcouple
Well i've read all the responses to the original question and i've had a good long think about why I don't use the forums on this site but seem to be a forum addict on another site
Its tooooo scary and I don't wanna get involved with all the politics that seem to be very obvious,I thought the original question was a valid one yet it degenerated into near fisticuffs :shock:
I may decide to use the forums more often as I think they can be great fun and thats what im here for fun fun fun lol
Think ill stick to the fluffy threads instead wink
Hello to everyone by the way xx

Hello and welcome!
Stop and stay, they are not that bad really there are a lot of lovely people here.
Have fun and enjoy!
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
I am not too proud to saying sorry if I have offended anyone even if that wasn’t my intent just a feeling that I might have offended someone would lead me to apologise.
What I find here and in the vanilla world is people are just unable to say it.
Why is this?
If you felt you had offended someone would you apologise?
Would you accept apologises?
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Calista
Minxy, whilst we are of the same voice in the definition of the chatroom and forum, you use the forum differently to me.
The chatroom I use for live conversation, camming etc (as do you) however, I use the forum to keep in touch with friends, have a slower paced conversation with input from everyone, yes I use it to garner opinion on things, ask for help when I need it, greet new members, answer related questions.
What I disagree with are the threads where one person's agenda is thrust forward repeatedly to the exclusion of others. The sniping and "look at me, aren't I great" posts are at least irritating and can very easily degenerate into bickering and bitchiness.
I'm not saying that anyone's threads in particular are like this, at some time we've all posted in or on a thread that falls into this category. I'm just sick of the flash mob mentality that occurs because one individual dares to stand up against someone else.
All fluffy threads wouldn't work either, all sex threads wouldn't work for the same reason, there needs to be balance.
It has come across to me that the minority of people doing the most amount of complaining about the forums are the most prolific posters.

Calista
I am sorry if I came across as knocking your opinion as that wase’nt my intent. I was purely responding to your post.
I have always respected all posters on the forums if I agree with them or not.
The only time I have felt like objecting is once when I saw someone intent on baiting, hence why I have taken time out of thread making.
What makes it hard to voicing an opinion is when others jump in and think they know how you are thinking or feel you have the same views as them, as this isn’t the case, The whole purpose of setting this thread up was to try and move forward with constructive ideas.
Not to cause conflict, there is enough of that going on elsewhere.
I suppose all I wanted to say is I can’t always be a fluffy poster I am more of an opinion poster, but I won’t get drawn into the political sides of a discussion as I feel that had no place here.
I do like to give my opinion but don't expect others to agree, as I always keep an open mind.
I don't mind changing my opinion if something someone says makes sense to me.
So sorry if you felt I was knocking your opinion for that I would like you to accept my apology.
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by flower411
Any suggestions anyone?

Yeah !! lol Shut up nosey !! lol
bolt
Where did you appear from? rolleyes
I thought the ghouls and ghosties had kidnapped you! lol
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Bonedigger,
A hard topic to approach, but one that I have dealings with myself.
My Father has tried to take his own life three times now, the first time we were all shocked we all gathered around and pulled together to help.
The first time was seen as something he felt he had no way out of so we felt sorry for him and helped to understand what drove him to such a choice.
The second time I showed him pictures of my children and asked what he expected me to tell them, I was angry and confused why he had to do it again.
The third time I realised that there is no one he thinks of but himself to me now what he has done is nothing more than a selfish act, but he has never taken enough drugs to finish the job off.
I love him to bits but feel hopeless in trying to help, one day he may well do it right and that is something I have now got my head around.
I hope your sister would be understood, we all seem to go around in a circle with all sorts of feelings when this happens. I hope she comes to realise nothing can be that serious as to do this again.
We looking on feel so helpless, anger, wonder why, how, etc it is a normal response to such a shocking discovery, and one we never really understand why.
My thoughts are with you and all your family.
I hope it all sorts its self out soon.
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
I have been reading posts to threads only lately.
As I thought this was an open adult forum to express your views, be able to ask someones opinion and to have an adult debate. But it seems unless you are fluffy, show love at all times, keep it unopinionated its fine to post.
So I would say yes there are a lot of topics, they would be any ones you have to think about. wink
keep them sexy. keep then light and you will be alright! wink

Threads don't always have to be fluffy, light or sexy to work in the cafe, Minx.
What needs to happen is that some people need to stop making every subject into a political argument.
Some people are baiting other members and twisting everything they say (even when it's clear that it was just an opinion or an unambiguous statement), to make them 'wrong' or making them feel as if their comments are misguided in some way. People are made into pariahs then, when the thread turns into personal attacks and vitriol.
Regarding taboos, I think the only subjects that shouldn't be discussed at any level are illegal drugs, and sex with underage children. Anything which is sensitive could be given a thread title which makes the content clear so that people can avoid it if they wish to.
Totally agree with all your comments Fecks.
Spot on! :thumbup:
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
There seems to be an awful lot of the "pot calling the kettle black" here just lately!
The forums aren't the chatrooms and chatrooms aren't the forums.
There are a lot that think they are, I for one if I want a chat a bit of banter or a laugh with someone I would use the chat rooms.
If I would like others views on something I would ask in the forums.
You can't dictate the pace of the forums and all the attempts at posting multiple threads doesn't seem to have worked, so lets try something novel, how about a few good quality fun posts,
There have always been both in my opinion, there was a complete mix, now I see there are just the light hearted threads look what you get, what mr man man character are you, Have you responded to them?
I believe they is a place here for all types of threads.
Where opinions aren't necessarily the prime reason for posting.
Quality over quantity? dunno
Sorry but I like to hear others views on a topic.
Forgive me for thinking that we all have different opinions as to why we use the forums in the first place.
So now we are not allowed to ask questions here, as to ask a question about anything is asking someone to put their opinion.
Make love not war??????
I never personally set out to make war, and if you see the threads I prefer to do are to ask opinions from other adults on all sorts of topics I feel now quiet frankly I have no place to go.
Any suggestions anyone?
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
I have been reading posts to threads only lately.
As I thought this was an open adult forum to express your views, be able to ask someones opinion and to have an adult debate. But it seems unless you are fluffy, show love at all times, keep it unopinionated its fine to post.
So I would say yes there are a lot of topics, they would be any ones you have to think about. wink
keep them sexy. keep then light and you will be alright! wink
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
As I am no good at seeing the signs and I am shy too, I would do nothing. I would just sit and wonder why he would be looking at me. redface rolleyes
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Lost
I cant see the point in all this, I may be overly sensitive but it just seems that there is an undercurrent crappola going on. Cant ya just please get rid of the last page of this thread :-(

This one of the reason I am thinking of quiting the forums..i came from the chat rooms it more of a laugh there so I think I will just sneak off back there.
You can't seem to have a decent conversation in here with some.
I cant be arsed anymore to be honest!
Time you acted like grown up adults not kids in a playground!
Rant over good day all!
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Peanut
Word of mouth is always the best way to encourage participation, if you enjoy the forum tell people.
We could put all sorts of other rules in place about how people should and shouldn't act, but that wouldn't encourage anyone to join in, I think the AUP covers most things.

Word of mouth I suppose is people promoting the forums in chat ...
Most of the "word of mouth" I hear is that foul mouthed abusive nit picking piss takers control the forums and that people are able to talk freely in the chat rooms.
I came from chat to the forums and I`ve encouraged loads of people to join in the forums but everybody can see that abuse in chat is generally dealt with quickly .....abusers in the forums are tolerated for much longer and in some cases encouraged rolleyes
rolleyes
Sorry did you have something to say? rolleyes
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko

Word of mouth I suppose is people promoting the forums in chat ...

Why would you suppose that?? confused confused confused confused
Word of mouth could be people promoting the site at work, or in the pub or anywhere else they would like to talk about the site. Why would you assume that word of mouth about the site would be in the site chatroom?? ( where everyone in there is a site member???)
dunno dunno dunno dunno
Cos I`m just supposing what I`m supposing ...not what you`re supposing dunno
I suppose ... as long as it`s ok for me to suppose what I want to suppose !!!
Good answer!!
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
(I think!!) confused confused confused confused confused wink
I think he knew what he meant rolleyes
Took me three reads lol
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by flower411
fish bait ?? goodness me.. I was trying to make him feel welcome.
I can catch worms too, if that is what it takes rolleyes

be careful what you say, people might think you have a worm fetish! lol
If you don't believe me google it! wink
Oh My God!!!!!
What did you make me do that for :eeek:
I almost threw up :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Hey !!! It`s alright for you !!
I once opened a room in chat called "flower411 eating worms"
We couldn`t work out why it filled up so quick until minx googled it !!!!
We were in a room full of worm fetishists !!! pmsl
I just said that :laughabove: wink
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Dawnie
fish bait ?? goodness me.. I was trying to make him feel welcome.
I can catch worms too, if that is what it takes rolleyes

be careful what you say, people might think you have a worm fetish! lol
If you don't believe me google it! wink
Oh My God!!!!!
What did you make me do that for :eeek:
I almost threw up :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
:shock: I don't have that fetish I found it by accident lol
Someone opened a room once called down the garden eating worms and I wondered why it filled up so quickly so googled it lol
We were both shocked by finding it lol
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko

Word of mouth I suppose is people promoting the forums in chat ...

Why would you suppose that?? confused confused confused confused
Word of mouth could be people promoting the site at work, or in the pub or anywhere else they would like to talk about the site. Why would you assume that word of mouth about the site would be in the site chatroom?? ( where everyone in there is a site member???)
dunno dunno dunno dunno
I was chatting about the forums in the chatroom last night and so many people didn't know they were here.
They were asking why the room was a forum chat room.
Some people just come in and go straight into chat without knowing these are here, I admit I was one of those people for about 9 months until someone told me about them.
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
fish bait ?? goodness me.. I was trying to make him feel welcome.
I can catch worms too, if that is what it takes rolleyes

be careful what you say, people might think you have a worm fetish! lol
If you don't believe me google it! wink
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Quote by flower411
I talk about sex to anybody ...
Friends...
Family...
People I meet ...
In chat rolleyes
Mainly because I`m a bit of a tart and i`m looking for opportunities...
I talk about other stuff ...but sex is on my mind in most situations :shock:
That`s normal ....isn`t it ?? :shock:

I hightlighted this bit as it now has me wondering! wink lol
It is normal.. I guess for you all of the above is normal. lol
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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
Was it on msn? something happen to my daughter there I will find the site and put up the link...they tracked it really quickly and got bact to me. it was a ultomated message system but it all seemed really real to me. give me a couple of minute to find the thread here.
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