Quote by flower411
in that case why can't you unlock the council thread and edit the posts
simples
Quote by flower411
Is that is the case and evidence is collected then maybe the person or persons should be banned from commenting on the forums, it should go to a commitee to decide on evidence produced, just an idea as the site is forever evolving and maybe they should look at this option.
Quote by flower411
in that case why can't you unlock the council thread and edit the posts
simples
Quote by st3v3
in that case why can't you unlock the council thread and edit the posts
simples
Quote by flower411
Is that is the case and evidence is collected then maybe the person or persons should be banned from commenting on the forums, it should go to a commitee to decide on evidence produced, just an idea as the site is forever evolving and maybe they should look at this option.
Quote by GnV
wouldnt that be glasses more as stalking than bullying?
The site can monitor chatroom logs and posts in forms, if this is happening shouldnt it be monitored more carefully and stop the people that are doing this, as they have a duty of care surely that members here should feel safe within this enviroment in the way you are suggesting that to me seems more about stalking than bullying.
or just a Freudian slip?
Quote by st3v3
Locking threads isn't an exact science and the mod team have to make judgements, sometimes there's a lot of discussion in the mods lounge with regard to what would be for the best before any action is taken, Anais did attempt to pull the thread back on topic unfortunately that wasn't a success, hence the subsequent locking, an alternative may be to over moderate by removing every off topic post, here's one I did earlier http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/323504.html
Myself I don't think we should be going down that route, even if we did all we would end up with are constant debates aboiut how unfair every post removal was.
Quote by st3v3
Most of the time posts are edited and a note left that that effect, usually in red.
I have in the past used :gagged: as well, but thats just me and is very rare.
Some posts may be removed, such as blatent spam, anything in really bad taste or on some occasions when requested, this could also apply to threads.
Quote by flower411
with apologies to dean for chopping out some of his impassioned plea..
Others and certainly new members are scared to comment as they see the quite personal attacks that go on in here. Self regulation has failed....the people concerned have no one else but themselves to blame....close it !!!
Quote by deancannock
I totally agree with censorship. I do not want to see racist remarks ... Homophobic remarks .... etc etc.... Almost every thread in here nowadays gets down to personal name calling and insults. I have got to the situation where I actually think we would be better to close down the Current Affairs forum altogether !! It is now the same 7/8 people that contribute everytime....we all know what they are basically gona say. Come on..we all know who is going to say flog them, and hang them high. We all know who will come up with a conspiricy theory and blame the banks.....Its just become predictable and boring. Others and certainly new members are scared to comment as they see the quite personal attacks that go on in here. Self regulation has failed....the people concerned have no one else but themselves to blame....close it !!!
Quote by Kaznkev
Are we right in saying there are Bullies here?
I have been the victim of bullies in my teens whereby I was actually punched, kicked by a group of girls at school, I could not get away. On here we are all adults or at least should be that can make a more informed choice, if we feel intimated by another we don’t need to start of retaliate to that person, we have choices close down or ignore. I have found to ignore works a treat, intimidation only works on responses.
But then I realise that I am not that scared child anymore I am an adult that can control a situation myself in the best way I feel it should be dealt with.
We need sometimes to look at ourselves and use some of the wisdom and common sense that comes from adulthood and stop relying on other to make decisions for us.
I do get frustrated and annoyed that the word bully can sometimes feel so undermined and so commonly used. Both here and in society in general.
BTW I believe in freedom of speech we might not always like what is said but we have a choose to ignore it.
Quote by GnV
I know the forums are always good for answering a question, and always seems to be someone around to help.
The question is, we are using a sage system for accounting purposes and are looking to change over to quick books to increase clients.
What we would like to know is there anyone around that has knowledge of both and what are the key differences?
I know it is a bit of a selective field, but I am sure someone might know something.
Thanks in advanace
Minx
Quote by Srne
Hi guys have returned to the Cafe once again as inevitable. This place even after long abscences always draws me back. Prob not light Sunday reading this but here goes.....
I'm a youngish attractive guy,I have a good job and all that mainstream apparently important stuff, not really looking for swinging action these days (though there is always scope for changes of mind if offers unrefusable in nature were to present themselves :-)). So.......why am I here?
I feel at home here for some reason, probably because due to reasons relating to my past and upbringing and the fact I don't like to share my feelings with people on a social level I can be myself here with the anonimity of people not knowing me on a personal level.
Which brings me onto my main topic point.
Do you think that there are some people who are just not capable for one reason or another to hold down a long lasting relationship?
No I think we are all capable
I ask this because having recently been left by my partner,(dont worry she knew I came on here and read and posted on the cafe, trust issues of that nature were never a factor for us), i have come to a realisation.
Trust, honesty, understanding are all key to any relationship
I've had two meaningful relationships in my life one for 4 years with a girl who is now my best and entirely platonic friend, and one with the afore mentioned now former partner for a year . The problem in both those relationships and the reason for them ending? Me. Same problem both times.
The relationship of four years she must see qualities in you then that she must like as she has remained a friend.
Due to not having a very stable upbringing I was always sure that they were going to leave and abandon me, they didnt really love me the way i wanted and needed and used to then try to test them by behaiving in a way which i thought would make them unhappy with me and therefore leave me thus proving what i already thought. Fucked up hey?
I have a friend that has been married for 23 years and still believes nobody could love him, I have been his friend since I was 11, as I said to him love is someone that cares and sticks around. His feelings come from his upbringing.
I think it is a case of a self fullfilling prophecy and even though during my relationship i used to try and make out it was their fault, the blame lie's completely with me.
What I want to know is even though i am to blame in my actions,and i believe strongly that i just can't help it and will inevitably do this again, should I just accept that I'm wrong for people?
The girl previously in my life was fantastic in so many ways, she had hers faults and problems yeah, but don't we all and I, instead of seeing her good points kept looking out for signs that what I believed was going to happen would. Eventually this drove her away after a long suffering 6 months, and i just don't think i could go through, nor put anyone else through the same shit hence my question and subsequent post.
We have no control over others reactions or actions, but we have control over our own, circumstances in life make us behave and think the way we do but we are in control of our own minds and are able to change them.
There are a few books that can help change your thinking from negative to positive but only you can do it.
Has anybody else been through the same thing either with or as a partner to somebody as your comments and repliers would be greatly appreciated or even if you haven't what do you think?
Over to the ever relieble Cafe members.....
Quote by kentswingers777
I voted Tory and to be honest I am not happy as I never voted for a coalition but....Camerons majority was not enough for him to last on his own for too long.
The country cannot afford to wait a further six months with uncertainty, that is not good for a economic recovery that we desperately need. So I am at least prepared to go along with the coalition and see where it leads.
Yes the Libs have had to give up on some of their manifesto promises. Trident for one and immigration being the other.
Both have been discussed on here and I am glad that Trident will be updated, and am also glad that illegal immigrants and a dependent, will NOT be given the right to stay here.
So with those two issues out of the way I can see the coalition working, and it is much better than a lib/Lab pact with Brown at the helm.
I will see where this leads us but a coalition can hopefully bring about some stability, and Cameron and Clegg can get together to sort out the mess this past Government have created.
Only time will tell if it can be successful.
How great though was Heseltine? A real Tory and a great Statesman.
Plus who was that total pratt from the New Statesman? Talked a load of rubbish most of the time.
