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butters999999
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 58
Forum
You'll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges.
Addams Family Values
or
<waking up in bed> She's gone! Oh my God! She used me. I was used. <grins> I was used! Cool!
American Pie
or
I'm sexy. I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. I'm pitchin', great hair, the guys all love to stare. I'm wanted, I'm hot I'm everything your not, I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school. Who am I, just guess, guys wanna touch my chest, I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile. I'm flyin', I jump, you can look but don't you hump. Woa! I'm major, I roar, I swear I'm not a whore. We cheer and we lead and we act like we're on speed. Hate us 'coz we're beautiful, but we don't like you either. We're cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders!
Bring It On
Addams Family Values
or
<waking up in bed> She's gone! Oh my God! She used me. I was used. <grins> I was used! Cool!
American Pie
or
I'm sexy. I'm cute, I'm popular to boot. I'm pitchin', great hair, the guys all love to stare. I'm wanted, I'm hot I'm everything your not, I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school. Who am I, just guess, guys wanna touch my chest, I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile. I'm flyin', I jump, you can look but don't you hump. Woa! I'm major, I roar, I swear I'm not a whore. We cheer and we lead and we act like we're on speed. Hate us 'coz we're beautiful, but we don't like you either. We're cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders!
Bring It On
almost an admission!
:x :x :x :x :x :x
:smackbottom: 
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, and 3) would be good in bed. Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs. "I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you." "Yes, but are you good in bed?" "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
An old gent moved into a retirement community where good-looking, eligible men are at a premium. After he had been there for a week he went to confession and said, "Bless me father, for I have sinned. Last week I had my way with seven different women. "The priest said, "Take seven lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing. "Will that cleanse me of my sins, Father?", "No," replied the priest, "but it'll wipe that grinoff your face.".
I go away for a few days and come back to all this! To everyone who has left I send my warm wishes to everyone who's staying I send this joke xx
A man entered his favourite restaurant and sat at his regular table. After looking around, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby, all alone. He motioned the waiter over and asked him to send their most expensive bottle of merlot over to the woman, knowing that if she accepted the bottle, she would be his.
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read:"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million pounds in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants." After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return to the woman.
it read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million pounds in my bank account. But not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back."
A man entered his favourite restaurant and sat at his regular table. After looking around, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby, all alone. He motioned the waiter over and asked him to send their most expensive bottle of merlot over to the woman, knowing that if she accepted the bottle, she would be his.
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read:"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million pounds in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants." After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return to the woman.
it read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million pounds in my bank account. But not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back."
