This is one of the most enjoyable threads I've seen since I got back. I hope nobody is thinking of terminating Eric's membership. I want to keep him.
Mollie
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maidinheaven
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 74
UK
Forum
I found an old examination paper and did a thread about it early this year:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/33022/40.html
I've just now been back to look at at it and was surprised how much I enjoyed reading it again.
I can honestly say that I can think of nothing that I was taught turned out to be wasted. If I could change anything it would be that I would have like to have learned more languages.
I know I might be very wrong but I think education of forty or fifty years ago was designed to make us think. I mean, we're still producing doctors and dentists and lawyers but I think our education system is failing lots of our kids.
Mollie
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/33022/40.html
I've just now been back to look at at it and was surprised how much I enjoyed reading it again.
I can honestly say that I can think of nothing that I was taught turned out to be wasted. If I could change anything it would be that I would have like to have learned more languages.
I know I might be very wrong but I think education of forty or fifty years ago was designed to make us think. I mean, we're still producing doctors and dentists and lawyers but I think our education system is failing lots of our kids.
Mollie
Thenks to you three - I'l try another Traveller's Tale.
It starts two or three years ago in the ferry port of Ouistreham where we had to wait two or three days for a ferry. Plenty of ferries but we would have been charged and if we waited we would get a free transfer.
So we set up our camp in the town centre car park. When we were settng up the satellite dish (I like my East Enders) we gathered a few interested spectators - "televison anglais? Alors" - who invited us for a drink in one of the cafes surrounding the square. All our conversation was in French but we get by well enough and after a bit the conversation got around to all the German Second World War Invasion Defences littering the coast all the way down to the Spanish Border. Our hosts were outraged by the German occupation of four years.
Tom was getting a bit restless. Then he said (in French) "That's nothing - England has been occupied for a thousand years". Polite interest. "By the French". More interest. "Less than 40 kilometres from here, in Bayeaux, there is a tapestry depicting the French invasion of England. You killed our King Harold and put William, Duc de Normandie, also known as William the Bastard, on our throne" MIld discomfort in his audience. "For a thousand years we have been occupied by the French and they never went home - they are still there"
The audience was getting pretty well uncomfortable by now but Tom stood up, spread his arms wide to embrace the world then tapped his chest and proclaimed loudly "Je suis francais". (I am French). Instant hilarity.
Since then I have seen him use the same story maybe half a dozen times and it always provokes good humour. It always works.
Except when it didn't.
Patrick the Chef and us were free-camping on the norhern side (Riva Adroit) of the river Adour and we had all been invited to evening drinks and snacks by a group of fishermen. One of the snacks was "fish bellys" and our hosts were nothing less than charming so when I saw Tom launching into his French Occupation story I was a bit apprehensive. He got to the bit where the audience is starting to look uncomfortable when Patrick got to his feet, embraced Tom and said, "Tom, you don't have to worry. We won't do it again".
Mollie
There is a bit of a postscript which has only occurred to me just lately. There may be some truth in Tom's story. Our aristocracy, which until recently had a birth-right to govern us, are allegedly interbred, own most of England and are the descendants of the French invaders of a thousand years ago.
It starts two or three years ago in the ferry port of Ouistreham where we had to wait two or three days for a ferry. Plenty of ferries but we would have been charged and if we waited we would get a free transfer.
So we set up our camp in the town centre car park. When we were settng up the satellite dish (I like my East Enders) we gathered a few interested spectators - "televison anglais? Alors" - who invited us for a drink in one of the cafes surrounding the square. All our conversation was in French but we get by well enough and after a bit the conversation got around to all the German Second World War Invasion Defences littering the coast all the way down to the Spanish Border. Our hosts were outraged by the German occupation of four years.
Tom was getting a bit restless. Then he said (in French) "That's nothing - England has been occupied for a thousand years". Polite interest. "By the French". More interest. "Less than 40 kilometres from here, in Bayeaux, there is a tapestry depicting the French invasion of England. You killed our King Harold and put William, Duc de Normandie, also known as William the Bastard, on our throne" MIld discomfort in his audience. "For a thousand years we have been occupied by the French and they never went home - they are still there"
The audience was getting pretty well uncomfortable by now but Tom stood up, spread his arms wide to embrace the world then tapped his chest and proclaimed loudly "Je suis francais". (I am French). Instant hilarity.
Since then I have seen him use the same story maybe half a dozen times and it always provokes good humour. It always works.
Except when it didn't.
Patrick the Chef and us were free-camping on the norhern side (Riva Adroit) of the river Adour and we had all been invited to evening drinks and snacks by a group of fishermen. One of the snacks was "fish bellys" and our hosts were nothing less than charming so when I saw Tom launching into his French Occupation story I was a bit apprehensive. He got to the bit where the audience is starting to look uncomfortable when Patrick got to his feet, embraced Tom and said, "Tom, you don't have to worry. We won't do it again".
Mollie
There is a bit of a postscript which has only occurred to me just lately. There may be some truth in Tom's story. Our aristocracy, which until recently had a birth-right to govern us, are allegedly interbred, own most of England and are the descendants of the French invaders of a thousand years ago.
Thanks John,
I'm going to be very busy over the next few days but I'm sure you're right and I'll be more comfortable after a few days. I have a 26 yr old daughter still at home and when we got back on Sunday the house had a look of just being spring cleaned - but the garden hadn't so I'm still going to be quite busy for while.
Here's a little Traveller's Tale. If it gets moved it gets moved. It's about Patrick who is a chef in a posh hotel in Biarritz but lives in a campervan and we got friendly over the weeks we were there. He has the French knack of making me feel I'm the nicest thing that's happened to him all day. Lots of French men seem to be born with this knack and keep it into old age. He's about 30 and I'm now 54.
One morning he put his arm round Tom and said "Tom, you are so lucky to be an Englishman in France. All French girls want an Englishman. They never say no to and Englishman". He was talking to Tom but I knew the words were meant for me and my brain was whispering, "Ask me Patrick, I won't say No". Actually, I would have said No but I would have dearly liked to say yes.
But I began to notice that it's true what Patrick said. So very often - in the street, in supermarkets, on the beach and so on - girls and women would flirt with him. The latest time was in Finisterre and we were crossing a pavement when an elderly lady was walking along it. Tom said, "Madame, s'il vous plait" and made that universal gesture that says "After You".
We soon caught up with her and she grabbed him. She grabbed him and they walked along arm in arm while I trailed along behind. My French isn't all that good but good enough to get the gist of what she was gushing to him. "Oh, there is no gentlemen like an English gentlemen. We don't see enough of them in this town. When our boys get to 16 we should send them to England to see how to behave" and so on. She wants to live where I live and she'd soon change her mind. Eventually, I was able to prise them apart but it wasn't easy.
However, the moral of this particular tale is that if you are a guy down on his luck with women then maybe you should try holidaying in France and you might find your luck changes. There might be anothe moral for the women - don't let your man go to France.
Mollie
I'm going to be very busy over the next few days but I'm sure you're right and I'll be more comfortable after a few days. I have a 26 yr old daughter still at home and when we got back on Sunday the house had a look of just being spring cleaned - but the garden hadn't so I'm still going to be quite busy for while.
Here's a little Traveller's Tale. If it gets moved it gets moved. It's about Patrick who is a chef in a posh hotel in Biarritz but lives in a campervan and we got friendly over the weeks we were there. He has the French knack of making me feel I'm the nicest thing that's happened to him all day. Lots of French men seem to be born with this knack and keep it into old age. He's about 30 and I'm now 54.
One morning he put his arm round Tom and said "Tom, you are so lucky to be an Englishman in France. All French girls want an Englishman. They never say no to and Englishman". He was talking to Tom but I knew the words were meant for me and my brain was whispering, "Ask me Patrick, I won't say No". Actually, I would have said No but I would have dearly liked to say yes.
But I began to notice that it's true what Patrick said. So very often - in the street, in supermarkets, on the beach and so on - girls and women would flirt with him. The latest time was in Finisterre and we were crossing a pavement when an elderly lady was walking along it. Tom said, "Madame, s'il vous plait" and made that universal gesture that says "After You".
We soon caught up with her and she grabbed him. She grabbed him and they walked along arm in arm while I trailed along behind. My French isn't all that good but good enough to get the gist of what she was gushing to him. "Oh, there is no gentlemen like an English gentlemen. We don't see enough of them in this town. When our boys get to 16 we should send them to England to see how to behave" and so on. She wants to live where I live and she'd soon change her mind. Eventually, I was able to prise them apart but it wasn't easy.
However, the moral of this particular tale is that if you are a guy down on his luck with women then maybe you should try holidaying in France and you might find your luck changes. There might be anothe moral for the women - don't let your man go to France.
Mollie
Hi Everybody,
Well I'm back to find over 27000 members here and some people have changed their names. We've been out of England a bit over five months and I'm a little nervous about coming back on the site to be honest.
We spent some time in Northern Spain, driven north into southern France by high temperatures but that didn't last and we had temperatures up to 38 degrees so towards the end of July we moved up to Brittany and spent almost two months there. No nudist beaches in Finisterre so although I have an all over tan there are some bits a bit paler than others.
I have lots of stuff to pass on if anybody is interested and I see there is a "stickie" for travellers' tales but I don't think the stuff I could pass on - aires de services, E111 (and it's replacement), breakdown services and so on is suitable for that thread so I'll see how it goes. I might try telling some things here and see if I get moved.
The Germans have a saying - "Wann jemand eine Reise tut, dann kann er was erzählen" - which translates loosely as "Travellers tell Tales". Literally it's "When someone makes a journey, then what can he tell".
In any case we just got back late on Sunday and I still have a mountain of mail to get through and I might not contribute much for the next few days. Our threesome is still stable and we had some time together in Spain and France.
In some ways it's nice to be back but wearing clothes again is quite unpleasant.
Anyway - nice to see you all again
Mollie
Well I'm back to find over 27000 members here and some people have changed their names. We've been out of England a bit over five months and I'm a little nervous about coming back on the site to be honest.
We spent some time in Northern Spain, driven north into southern France by high temperatures but that didn't last and we had temperatures up to 38 degrees so towards the end of July we moved up to Brittany and spent almost two months there. No nudist beaches in Finisterre so although I have an all over tan there are some bits a bit paler than others.
I have lots of stuff to pass on if anybody is interested and I see there is a "stickie" for travellers' tales but I don't think the stuff I could pass on - aires de services, E111 (and it's replacement), breakdown services and so on is suitable for that thread so I'll see how it goes. I might try telling some things here and see if I get moved.
The Germans have a saying - "Wann jemand eine Reise tut, dann kann er was erzählen" - which translates loosely as "Travellers tell Tales". Literally it's "When someone makes a journey, then what can he tell".
In any case we just got back late on Sunday and I still have a mountain of mail to get through and I might not contribute much for the next few days. Our threesome is still stable and we had some time together in Spain and France.
In some ways it's nice to be back but wearing clothes again is quite unpleasant.
Anyway - nice to see you all again
Mollie
And it's also Au Revoir from me. But I'll be back.
I'll probably be too busy to log on tomorrow so this is my Goodbye now.
I'm Maureen from what used to be MaureenandTom. Most of my friends call me Mollie and that's the name I've been using here. Most people won't have clue who I am and I've said Goodbye, I think, to people who do know me.
We will leave Tuesday morning for our annual trip to Europe in our motor caravan. . This year we aren't going so far - just southern France and northern Spain. If you draw a line from Bordeaux to Perpignan to Barcelona (or Valencia, we don't know yet) and then across to San Sebastian and then back up to Bordeaux - that's about where we will be - but including the Atlantic Coast as well as the Mediteranean.
We'll be back around the end of September and I'll say hello again then. I wish everybody here a good summer.
Mollie xx
PS - an almost incomprehensible message from Tom. "Say goodbye to all those, Crabs, Pongoes, Fishheads, Brown Jobs, Matelots and Brats". It must mean something to somebody.
Moll
I'll probably be too busy to log on tomorrow so this is my Goodbye now.
I'm Maureen from what used to be MaureenandTom. Most of my friends call me Mollie and that's the name I've been using here. Most people won't have clue who I am and I've said Goodbye, I think, to people who do know me.
We will leave Tuesday morning for our annual trip to Europe in our motor caravan. . This year we aren't going so far - just southern France and northern Spain. If you draw a line from Bordeaux to Perpignan to Barcelona (or Valencia, we don't know yet) and then across to San Sebastian and then back up to Bordeaux - that's about where we will be - but including the Atlantic Coast as well as the Mediteranean.
We'll be back around the end of September and I'll say hello again then. I wish everybody here a good summer.
Mollie xx
PS - an almost incomprehensible message from Tom. "Say goodbye to all those, Crabs, Pongoes, Fishheads, Brown Jobs, Matelots and Brats". It must mean something to somebody.
Moll
Look, I'm sorry about all this.
I have never taken revenge like I suggested and I don't know that I could. It was just my imagination.
If there is a point to my "hurting" an innocent person - the "other woman" - then it's unlikley that she is truly "innocent". She must know at some point that the man is being deceitful - and then allowing it to continue and so she would be equally reponsible.
I'm not going to respond in this thread any more.
Mollie
I have never taken revenge like I suggested and I don't know that I could. It was just my imagination.
If there is a point to my "hurting" an innocent person - the "other woman" - then it's unlikley that she is truly "innocent". She must know at some point that the man is being deceitful - and then allowing it to continue and so she would be equally reponsible.
I'm not going to respond in this thread any more.
Mollie
Sorry, I seem to have touched a nerve there.
I've been in the position, feeling betrayed, the feelings of desperation and loneliness. Spiteful? I can live with that. Bitter and twisted? Why use words like that?
Been the "other woman" have you?
I don't want to start something in public - but if you haven't been through it then you have no right to condemn.
I've been in the position, feeling betrayed, the feelings of desperation and loneliness. Spiteful? I can live with that. Bitter and twisted? Why use words like that?
Been the "other woman" have you?
I don't want to start something in public - but if you haven't been through it then you have no right to condemn.
Quote by foxylady 123
If they're living together you wait a while and then you send an open postcard on which you say:
IT'S OVER, PLEASE STOP TELEPH0NING ME
Thats awful, it would affect the other party just as much as the ex and as far as we know she was oblivious to the whole situation. Why hurt someone else who has done nothing?Where is the fun in that?
Yes it is awful. But the point is not to have "fun". The title was "Revenge on a Sleaze Bag". He's not going to stop being a sleaze bag - this sort of thing might well save his new woman heartache in the future. I'd have no bad conscience doing something like this.
Vix and Reese have my complete support. I'll sign any petition - give any support I can.
This is going to sound like a "But" - but it isn't. Does anybody have any idea how difficult it is going to be to get into the USA? Tom's grand-daughter was born in Los Angeles and therefore has a right to US citizenship but Tom has no "right" to visit her. Soon, if WE havent't the right sort of passport we will have to go personally to the US Embassy in London (we're in the North West) and pay to obtain a visitor's visa - and that only for three months.
Huge expense. Like I said - my complete and unhesitating support for Vix and Reese. But it isn't just this country - it's all others and it's Reese's There - I knew I was going to say "But". Sorry
I am a citizen of the World and I should be able to go anywhere.
Best Wishes
Mollie
This is going to sound like a "But" - but it isn't. Does anybody have any idea how difficult it is going to be to get into the USA? Tom's grand-daughter was born in Los Angeles and therefore has a right to US citizenship but Tom has no "right" to visit her. Soon, if WE havent't the right sort of passport we will have to go personally to the US Embassy in London (we're in the North West) and pay to obtain a visitor's visa - and that only for three months.
Huge expense. Like I said - my complete and unhesitating support for Vix and Reese. But it isn't just this country - it's all others and it's Reese's There - I knew I was going to say "But". Sorry
I am a citizen of the World and I should be able to go anywhere.
Best Wishes
Mollie
Oh Steve,
You should have done that by PM.
That was a joke from nearly fifty years ago. My primary school teacher used to set little problems like this - nowadays he'd probably get prosecuted. So I was set that little problem about the age of eight.
Another one he set - at the same age - was:
A burglar broke into a house. He found a photograph which he picked up and pondered for a while and then he said:
"Brothers and sisters have I none, but this man's father is my father's son."
What was the relationship between burglar and the person in the photograph?
Mollie
You should have done that by PM.
That was a joke from nearly fifty years ago. My primary school teacher used to set little problems like this - nowadays he'd probably get prosecuted. So I was set that little problem about the age of eight.
Another one he set - at the same age - was:
A burglar broke into a house. He found a photograph which he picked up and pondered for a while and then he said:
"Brothers and sisters have I none, but this man's father is my father's son."
What was the relationship between burglar and the person in the photograph?
Mollie
I don't post much.
It's because I'm over-awed by the sheer intellectual capacity of most posters here and I fear being torn to pieces by the lot of you.
However, I thought I might turn the magnificent intelligence shown here - in your more lucid moments - and ask if you might translate this for me.
Years ago my father, while digging our garden at home came across a small metal container. You'd have thought it was a bowl for cake-mix or for washing-up. You can imagine it, yes? It was obviously very old. I have it now and I've just come across it in the cupboard under the stairs.
I can't tell you much about it - but there is an inscription:
"iti sapis spo tanda ti no ne"
Can anyone help to identify this artefact?
Mollie
It's because I'm over-awed by the sheer intellectual capacity of most posters here and I fear being torn to pieces by the lot of you.
However, I thought I might turn the magnificent intelligence shown here - in your more lucid moments - and ask if you might translate this for me.
Years ago my father, while digging our garden at home came across a small metal container. You'd have thought it was a bowl for cake-mix or for washing-up. You can imagine it, yes? It was obviously very old. I have it now and I've just come across it in the cupboard under the stairs.
I can't tell you much about it - but there is an inscription:
"iti sapis spo tanda ti no ne"
Can anyone help to identify this artefact?
Mollie
This could be quite nice !!
Come, fill the cup and in the Fire of Spring
The Winter Garment of Repentance fling:
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To fly - and Lo! the Bird is on the wing.
But probably my favourite - among favourites - is
The moving finger writes and having writ,
Moves on; nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all they tears wash out a word of it.
Mollie - Live every day !!!
Come, fill the cup and in the Fire of Spring
The Winter Garment of Repentance fling:
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To fly - and Lo! the Bird is on the wing.
But probably my favourite - among favourites - is
The moving finger writes and having writ,
Moves on; nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all they tears wash out a word of it.
Mollie - Live every day !!!
The words of Omar Khayyam came into my head, "Dreaming, when Dawn's left hand is in the sky"
And in that warm comfortable glow when you know you'll have to get up soon - but not yet - I heard the soft gentle voice saying, "You're a good shag."
"But what has most impressed me is your magnificent ability to converse in a most erudite manner on a wonderfully eclectic range of topics - some of them quite esoteric."
Then I thought: "I've got to stop talking to myself like this" and got up.
Thought I'd just share this with you.
Mollie
And in that warm comfortable glow when you know you'll have to get up soon - but not yet - I heard the soft gentle voice saying, "You're a good shag."
"But what has most impressed me is your magnificent ability to converse in a most erudite manner on a wonderfully eclectic range of topics - some of them quite esoteric."
Then I thought: "I've got to stop talking to myself like this" and got up.
Thought I'd just share this with you.
Mollie
Well, I seem to have touched on the same nerve that I have. The thing that most troubled me after the event was the worry that these out-of-control children might retaliate and I knew that I was defenceless.
In the cold light of morning (very cold this morning) I know that they will probably not come back. I also know that they probably live near me and if I watch for them I can probably identify their parents and approach them.
But yesterday, I was frightened.
Mollie
In the cold light of morning (very cold this morning) I know that they will probably not come back. I also know that they probably live near me and if I watch for them I can probably identify their parents and approach them.
But yesterday, I was frightened.
Mollie
All these things are so true. I'm still shaken. But if we all know these things, why don't we do something about it?
I see these pictures on television of bad behaviour in town centres and people blaming the availability of drink but what I see is "school playground" behaviour that is no longer confined to the school playground. If we allow a generation to grow up without knowing discipline, why on earth do we expect them to become responsbile adults at 18?
I don't know where it will all end. If these kids come back and lob bricks at my windows, how can I protect myself? I don't suppose they will come back - but what if they do?
Anyway, thanks for the sympathy,
Mollie
I see these pictures on television of bad behaviour in town centres and people blaming the availability of drink but what I see is "school playground" behaviour that is no longer confined to the school playground. If we allow a generation to grow up without knowing discipline, why on earth do we expect them to become responsbile adults at 18?
I don't know where it will all end. If these kids come back and lob bricks at my windows, how can I protect myself? I don't suppose they will come back - but what if they do?
Anyway, thanks for the sympathy,
Mollie
Just in the past few minutes I heard a commotion outside and looked out to see two children of nine or ten yrs old stealing some things from next door's backyard. I went out and one ran away but the other glared at me. I said something like, "That's not yours is it?" The kid didn't move - just curled his lip at me and when I made to go to him he ran away and shouted, "Fuck Off, you old bitch".
Well, I protected my neighbours things but now these little bastards know me and where I live and I find myself frightened of ten year old kids.
What sort of generation have we allowed to grow up? I'm shaken.
Mollie
Well, I protected my neighbours things but now these little bastards know me and where I live and I find myself frightened of ten year old kids.
What sort of generation have we allowed to grow up? I'm shaken.
Mollie
For no good reason that I can think of, this reminded me of a story told by Bill Bryson in one of his books. I've just been to look for it and can't find it so my words will have to do. But it's a Bryson story.
A four year old girl found that a house was being built next door and being a curious girl she went and made friends with the builders. They took a fancy to her and gave her little jobs to do - sweeping up a bit of dust, carrying a mug of tea and that sort of thing.
At the end of the week - in recognition of the little jobs she had done - they made up a little pay packet for her.
Her Mum said, "That's nice. What we should do is spend half of it and put half in your savings account." And the little girl agreed.
So, Saturday morning, off they went to the Building Society. The counter clerk said, "Well, where did you get all this money?" And the little girl said, "I've been helping to build a house and this is my pay. I'm going to spend half and I'm going to save half."
"Oh," said the counter clerk, "I think that's lovely. Are you going to help build a house next week as well?"
And the little girl said, "Yes. If them fucking bricks arrive."
A four year old girl found that a house was being built next door and being a curious girl she went and made friends with the builders. They took a fancy to her and gave her little jobs to do - sweeping up a bit of dust, carrying a mug of tea and that sort of thing.
At the end of the week - in recognition of the little jobs she had done - they made up a little pay packet for her.
Her Mum said, "That's nice. What we should do is spend half of it and put half in your savings account." And the little girl agreed.
So, Saturday morning, off they went to the Building Society. The counter clerk said, "Well, where did you get all this money?" And the little girl said, "I've been helping to build a house and this is my pay. I'm going to spend half and I'm going to save half."
"Oh," said the counter clerk, "I think that's lovely. Are you going to help build a house next week as well?"
And the little girl said, "Yes. If them fucking bricks arrive."
