Quote by Sarah
passed
Bloke2005:- 'Certified by PL for smelling of cabbages and poo!'
Super_nova:- 'Double certification by Sarah for supporting Blackburn Rovers'
IMO ANYONE who like football needs certifing and cart off by the people in white coats!!

Quote by naked-cleaner
and a drink for the beautiful lady at the other end of the bar please :arrow:

Quote by mik69
Here's mine due to january being a quiet period for me at work (im self employed) I thought i'd send out some mail shots to prospective customers. Having obtained a list of 400 likely candidates I spent the last week in front of the computer designing a nice leaflet to post to them. Then off to the printers I went got them all printed off typed all the envelopes out myself
posted them after spending a small fortune on stamps sent them out.
I have sat here for the last 2 days waiting for the phone to ring and about this dinner time I thought surely someone must have rung by now but nothing not even a competitor ringing to check prices. Strange I thought to myself untill I did some checking up yep thats right dipstick me has had 400 leaflets printed off and I got my own phone number wrong ops: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Please tell me someone can top that oooh I feel such a fool

Quote by Pete_sw
Evening lovely peeps
The kitchen is now open, on the menue tonite we have ........ (drum roll)
Starters:
* dried scallop and crsispy seaweed
* sesame prawn toast
* barbecue pork spare ribs
* vegetable pancake rolls
* rice paper wrapped prawn
* prawn crackers
* vietnamese springs rolls
* satay beef on skewers
* satay chicken on skewers
* deep fried shredded chicken coated in yellow bean sauce
* crispy won tons served with sweet & sour sauce
* duck salad
* cucumber with smoked pork
Sea Food
* sweet & sour prawns hong kong style
* prawns in chilli sauce (kung po style)
* satay prawns
* prawns with green peppers in black bean sauce
* prawns with baby sweetcorn
* salt & garlic prawns
* prawns with mushroom
* prawns in black pepper sauce
* prawns in oyster sauce
* szechuan prawns
* sweet & sour monkfish
* squid in satay sauce
* squid in black pepper sauce
* stir fried squid in black bean sauce
* deep fried crispy squid
Veggie
* satay bean curd
* sweet & sour bean curd
* stir fried beanshoots
* mixed vegetables in
-garlic
-black pepper
-sweet & sour
-oyster
-satay sauce
-szechuan
* three style mushroom stir-fry
* braised shiitake mushroom with assorted funghi
* chinese mushroom, bamboo shoots & water chestnuts
* mixed mushrooms in black bean sauce
* vegetable foo yung (chinese omelette)
* vegetable fried rice
* vegetable fried noodles
* stir-fry black pepper vegetarian chicken with sugar snap peas
Meat
*salt & garlic chicken
*chicken with chilli sauce (kung po style)
*chicken with cashewnuts in yellow bean sauce
*chicken with ginger & spring onion
*lemon chicken
*deep fried shredded chicken in chilli sauce
*chicken with green peppers in black bean sauce
*chicken with mushrooms
*chicken in black pepper sauce
*sweet & sour chicken hong kong style
*duck with bean shoots
*duck with pineapple
*duck with green peppers in chilli sauce
*duck in plum sauce
*duck with ginger & spring onion
* deep fried shredded beef in chilli sauce
* beef in oyster sauce
* beef with ginger & spring onions
* minced beef with bean curd
* beef with mushrooms
* beef in black pepper sauce
* beef with green peppers in black bean sauce
* lamb with spring onions
* quick fried pork with spring onions
* sweet & sour pork hong kong style
* sliced pork with green peppers in chilli sauce
* sliced pork with mushrooms
* salt & garlic pork chop.
Gimme a shout when you're ready to order folks. :cheers:

Quote by hotrod39
If I was the owner of a Sex Shop, what single item would you want to buy from me ?

Quote by PoloLady
err...condom?
not very witty...but essential non the less
lol

Quote by wolseleyplumb
God! I've been using Swinging Heaven for the past six years!

Quote by zana2000
To be honest I doubt the council would be interested in the dogging, (though im sure it would make interesting viewing for the council staff).
I understand what your saying about them not notifying people in advance about the sites, but that would sort of undermind the value oft he exercise, wouldnt it?
Just taken this from the Enviromental Agencies Web Site and it illustrates the problem of fly tipping and why such measures are necessary
* It is estimated to cost £100-£150 million every year to investigate and clear up. The cost falls on taxpayers and private landowners
* Fly-tipping poses a threat to humans and wildlife, damages our environment, and spoils our enjoyment of our towns and countryside
* Fly-tipping undermines legitimate waste businesses where illegal operators undercut those operating within the law. At the same time, the reputation of legal operators is undermined by rogue traders
* As with other things that affect local environment quality, areas subject to repeated fly-tipping may suffer declining property prices and local businesses may suffer as people stay away
Another web site shows that the following areas have used mobile cameras to combat the problem:
* Stevenage and North Hertfordshire CCTV Partnership
* Rochdale Metropolitan Borough Council
* Sheffield Urban Traffic Control
* Greater Manchester Police - Oldham Division
* Leeds Federated Housing
* The City of Edinburgh Council
* The Hillside Group - Design and Print Studio
* Hartlepool Borough Council
Maybe the doggers in those areas can answer how the CCTV s have affected them?

Quote by jack55
I'm not ashamed of the fetishes I like at leasted I have profile showing who I am, the rest of you don't even have the balls for that.