Right then, i'm brand new to this game but let's not beat around the bush. I love life, i really really do and i like nothing more than to have a good giggle. I mean, come on, if we can't all have a laugh at life, then we all may aswell just pack up, fuck off, and go home, eh? That said, however, i can be quiet at times, ie; when i'm asleep. I'm very easy going, so laid back i may aswell be lying down and i can't, no, i WON'T take myself too seriously, i'm just not that guy.

I'm looking for someone that can hold themselves in a chat and that has a bit of fire in their belly, but not overly brash. I want to like you for you, not for what you want me to believe you to be. Yeah? If you're happy with your body then that's peachy-fucking-creamy, i will be too, confidence and a healthy smile go WAY further than fake tan and trowels of make-up ever will. (and pretty eyes are the icing on the cake for me) The aim of this game is to get YOU off, sounds naff to some but i just won't get off unless you do, i'll reiterate, YOU come first.

This here life is for living and i've only got one crack of the whip (despite what the happy-clappy's say!), i woke up one morning and realised that shit-the-fucking-bed-i'm-nearly-30! I've practically bloody blinked and the last 10 years have passed me by. I point-blank refuse to be the fella sitting on my billy-no-mates rocking chair at 60 smoking a pipe and giving it stacks of "What if?" Not happening! Nah-ah, no way.

Drop me a line and let's have a chuckle...

(unless of course you're a chav, in which case i suggest you save your breath and effort for the more important things in your life, like Burberry.... or crack. Innit.)

This is where you smile...