Really appreciate your concern but to answer 99% of messages, our day is going fine, we're not particularly looking forward to "the weekend", we didn't do a lot last weekend, your humble narrator knows how lucky he is, (so does the current Mrs for that matter), Swingingheaven isn't "treating" us to anything, yes we know our profile is long, 

You may recognize us from lots of other sites but that's not us, it's just desperado's stealing our pics.

We're not late night party people either so appreciate all the invites to AbFabs/Secrets/Chams/Gems/Liberation (wet dream edition)/Decs and of course Donkey Dicks which i'm sure are all lovely but we'd just be asleep in the corner, we are however both fully laundered and come from a smoke and pet free home and are totally stain free but we haven't got a clue what we are doing, we're just making it up as we go along.

If we want to wait for the perfect couple in the perfect location for the perfect meet then hey, that's our lookout..

Oh and if your username is anything like robocockdeepthrustpussypounderlickallnight12"massivedongfistfuckercuckoldking ironballsMcGinty then don't even bother!!!! Or usernames containing killer/driller/filler/spiller/destroyer/voyeur/ /reaper/raptor/donkey/ honky/rumpy/pumpy/cock/rock/ suck/fuck/cuck/cunt/hunt/gunt/runt/shit/spit/clit/hit/dom/piss/jizz/9"/10"11"/12"/dong/schlong/milf/dilf/filth/spunk/trunk/worm/germ/voyeur/lawyer/ etc you get the idea with that.. (darn we'll get no messages)

It's not like we don't accept messages from single guys (those goofy bastards are about the best thing i've got going on in my life right now) just have a little r. e. s. p. e. c. t. We don't speak 'Jive' either so any messages like " ur mrs is da bomb"/"too rude bruv"/"she is sick" (you don't know the half of it mate) we'll simply have to ignore as we just don't know what you're on about... Ahem, bredren. Or people that say shit like "it's on like Donkey Kong" or "hairy muff" when they mean "fair enough", gets on my tits it does, just say "fair enough"..

And come on fellas, get the mrs to do a bit of housework and pick up those dirty socks/straighten that picture above the fireplace/unstick the underwear from the wall before taking any pics, not the most flattering backdrop it has to be said. You might think we're strange (us...?) but we look more at the cleanliness of the room you're in than how hot you both look! You could be the most amazing couple but if you keep all your clothes in black bin bags forget it. And don't get us started on stained walls.. You know what they say..? "Dirty house = filthy stinking couple with drinking problems" (no they don't).

WE DON'T CAM and No we don't HAVE KIK either!! If i had a penny for every time we're asked..(i'd have ). or SKYPE , blimey if i had a penny for every time we were asked.. (we'd have ).