HI.

I am looking for well a bit of fun really, no serious just regular NS fun with F aged 40 + to play alone, I am not into sharing

aged 49 semi retired, fluid (this doesn't mean I am made from water) no children.

Me, well quick whitted, I don't not tolerate fu**wits well

No Time for messing around, I am here to meet and pleasure.  I could brag how how big my penis is, or how I can bang like an outside toilet door in the wind, but I am not all about that. Conversation stimulates me apart from anything else. Educated to Masters Level (1 masters 2 degrees and a whole host of professional career qualifications ( why does this sound like a job interview)?

Meets and Experiences..

A few years ago, I was attending to a married lady whilst her hubby watched, no camera no video, no fiddling with himself. I few month later they asked me if  their daughter join in....  Answered No, never saw them after that..

I was kissing my date as we sat on her sofa, she said... let's take this upstairs... I said OK, You grab one end and I'll grab the other

When it all goes wrong..

My ex and I were fooling around after having a few too many drinks one night and she stood up on the bed over me so she could sit on my face. She technically succeeded, but she lost her balance in the process and fell onto my face like a hammer hitting a nail. It completely killed the mood for both of us, but we had a pretty good laugh about it after."

Once we decided to try out this 'his and her' lube. The lady lube made it all tingly. So we do some foreplay, lube up, and then he decided now is a good time to have me go down on her. Turns out that numbing stuff isn't a joke! Dentists could use that stuff! My entire mouth went completely numb

My cat jumped on the bed as I was having sex and started rubbing his body over my ladies bum as if to be like, 'Hey guys! What are we doing?' We had to put him outside the room and shut the door, to which he responded by repeatedly flinging himself against the door and yowling

One time, I was having sex in this little windowed alcove in my new un-decorated flat where there was a tapestry covering the window and the tapestry fell down. I got up to fix it and my 80 year old Male neighbour, spotted by Erection. We'd have conversations until that day, after that nothing!