I am a boring old fart, nothing much positive to say at all. I have more waist and less hair than I would like, I'd like to say that I have a 9 inch cock, or a 6 inch tongue and can breath through my nose, but I would be lying.  It would be more truthful to say that although married, I have not had sex for about 25 years, and am not sure that everything is in working order, but it would be nice to find out.  I really miss the feel, touch, smell, and shear wonderfulness of the smooth, rounded, and hopefully damp, beautiful body of a lady.