Kate had answered her text to Jen, tried a little spanking and had to quickly gather herself, and clothes, to return to the rat race, the job, family and the incredulous Laurence; her hubby.
I’d learned that to immediately ask a sub how she felt, after a scene or experience, wasn’t a suitable time to trawl her thoughts and feelings. It was too soon after the event, to get a full feedback. Really, it was far better to wait and to let her bring the feelings back, after a few days, in her own time.
There was no text on the evening of the Friday of her visit. She’d said that it was always a hectic time and that she liked to break the back of the family week by getting domestic chores progressed, instead of the things like clothes washing straying into Saturday and Sunday. That way there was time for outdoors trips, if the weather was favourable. She liked hiking and getting her youngsters involved in their immediate surroundings.
By the Sunday evening, I was just slightly beginning to wonder if she’d had second thoughts about her self discovery, but knew not to pester, or make things difficult. If she’d had enough, then she’d had enough and nothing that I would say would change anything. In any case, it would make me appear desperate and immature, if I showered her inbox with messages and that’s not what I wanted to convey.
In her own good time, she messaged on the Monday evening; sofa learning. Lol (the whimpy hubby, Laurence), was busy tinkering in the garage with a scrambler bike, so he was well out of the way on this occasion.
“Hi. How’s your hand,” she asked.
“It’s fine thanks, lol. Why did you ask?”
“It played games on my backside Friday. Loved the handprint when checked bum in shower.”
“You liked?”
“Yep…that’s a definite more please next time.”
“You want to visit again?”
“F*** yes! You don’t want me back?”
“I want you here again, if you want to explore more.”
“Altering work schedule, to make time. Really sorry. First visit was too short. Wanted more.”
“You liked?”
“You lit the fire. Already had with words, but reality made it 100x better.”
And so we talked. Over the next week we discussed around all kinds of things, which gave Kate time to think and inwardly digest and come back to give further opinions. All this was increasing the respect, honesty, understanding and the absolute trust that we secured in each other.
Kate wanted to feel more submissive. Her inspection she’d loved so much. She wanted to not know where my fingers and hands might go and how they might travel, or halt, on any one part of her body. I mentioned toys too, but for now, she just wanted further inspections and the desire to be more sub-like.
Really, the feeling needed to be inside her. Being a sub is meant for a person in whom she wants to be subservient to, and not someone who decided to tell her to be their sub. This wasn’t role play.
So, I suggested something I’d explored with other subs in the past. It’s language control. By using it, still with safe words firmly at the centre of everything, the eyes and ears of the sub receive the feedback that they hear from their own lips and words, and from what they see that they’ve written in a text. It doesn’t ever stop her from being able to ask a question. It doesn’t stop her from safe wording. It doesn’t stop her from saying, “No.” It’s the way in which she does it, that counts. She uses the protocols; the rules. If she likes them, I maintain them; keep her to what she agrees to.
I explained some to her. If she tried them out in texting between us, she could get a feel for how she perceived her own thoughts, as a result. Then, like the talking before her first visit, she was prepared for trying something new
“Why do you feel you want this?” I asked later that week.
“Want to try all kinds of ways of being different,” she replied. “And trust you to help me more. How does it go?”
“What?”
“This chat rule thing.”
And I explained the early stages, where she’d be using the written version, but translates into the verbal quite easily, once the brain has remembered the ways of working.
To try it, she had to have a slight rearrangement in her head. Simply removing four words, would make quite a difference, and replacing them with a couple of phrases, would change her sound. Having to follow a new, agreed, convention would change her perception of herself and her standing in this relationship.
She was itching to know. She wanted to try and accused me of delaying and almost prevarication. Her dominant stance appeared.
“Ok, ok! Calm! Big inhalations and read carefully.”
And I explained. Removing “I”, “me”, “my” and “mine” from her vocabulary and replacing them with, “Your property”, “this sub”, or just simply “it”, would take away the immediate first person singular, and move towards belonging to someone else and emphasising what she felt that she was, or even totally nondescript. Every sentence written or spoken, would begin and end with “Sir”. There was more to follow, like how to ask a question and how to write possessive adjectives like “our”, or “we” and “us”. Further rules could be added, but only after discussion, and always under the proviso that she could safe word, or get out of not doing it, if she felt that it was a step too far. I did also suggest that having a completely new name, for her alter ego, might help too. Then when she talked, she could identify who she was. For a name change, I’d always suggested that a sub thinks about something atmospheric, ethereal, or wild creature, then choose three names that she likes. These would be sent, and I would choose the one that I liked.
These suggestions were all soaked up like kitchen roll on spilt water.
“Didn’t know we could go this far,” she responded.
“We can go as far as your imagination wants to run. Just be safe, no one must feel hurt either physically or mentally and talk about everything, so that you can make a sensible decision. If you want something, then you can consent to it. If you don’t like something, you say so, or safe word.”
“What else could we do?”
“Just enjoy your thoughts, and tell me what interests you, if you want me to know. Or tell Lol?”
“You’re joking, aren’t you? He honestly doesn’t want the bother of me wanting him to think outside the box. He’s a kid that seems to live in and accepts a conformist world. You know, I almost thought he was going to tell me to see a psychologist?”
“You wouldn’t be the first that that’s actually happened to. The thing is, the person who suggests such an action, is the very person who needs a consultation. But to be fair, he perhaps worries about his own hurt.”
“He thinks he’ll hurt me, but hasn’t got the mental capacity to investigate. Now, if I was a scrambler bike, he’d have me in pieces and tweaking this inlet and that mixture and checking springs; he’d be all over me!”
“Well, you’re not a bike, but I sure as hell want you to enjoy your private scramble to find what tweaks make you fire up.”
“You’re wicked. You know that? Your words tweak me, and…afraid I throb. God, I’m so embarrassed. Cheeks are hot again.”
I smirked to myself, wondering which cheeks she meant, but knew very well which ones she was referring to.
“Work on the language. See if it helps you. And, think of who you are. Send three names for yourself.”
