I was working in london and was good mates with the owner of a small lounge, it was a bit of a rough pub and as he was going away on some jaunt he asked if i would lock up the pub on the saturday night.his partner and the barmaid felt safer if a guy locked up and got them home after hours. anyway i arrived just before shutting time and noticed that they both had a few drinks and were more than a bit tipsy , anyway we cleared the pub locked the doors and left just the corner light on and we sat down for a few late drinks ,they were pouring trebles while i as i was driving only had some juice,after about an hour we got on to the subject of sex this was no surprise to me as i had heard from some regulars that this was the normal i had been told when they got drunk anyone could do what they wanted with them and that they were normaly that pissed they always forgot what happened,i thought these stories were not true but soon was found out they were,i was getting excited as they drank more and more, to tell the truth they looked and talked as tough the were sober but when they tried to stand up they couldnt,i had always wanted to fuck the blond she was about 40ish slim tall and tarty looking the barmaid was not bad looking but she did not dress up and always looked a bit frumpy but you could see the possibilities with her, she had a nice body and her tits looked firm, anyway the blond said she needed the toilet and as she said she was to drunk to hardly stand would one of us take her. The barmaid laughed and said on you go i know you are desperate to take her i have seen it in your eyes all night,i helped her up and of we went into the ladies i steadied her up against the wall while i loosened her trousers and slipped them down over her knees as i grabbed her to swing her over the toilet seat she kissed me i kissed her back and she started to thrust her tounge in and out of my mouth,she then stopped and said hurry i am ready to piss,i sat her down and i felt her bald cunt as she pissed i even slipped three fingers up her open pissin cunt, she pissed for ages as she sat there i took my fingers out and pushed them into her open mouth she licked every drop of juice and piss of my fingers this was a chance i was not going to pass up i am a kinky guy and my mind was on overtime,i lifted her top up and pushed up her bra over her cracking pair of firm tits not very big nipples but who cared i bent down and sucked both nipples while i continued to feel her smelly open bald cunt and it was smelly, maybe it wasjust the smell of all the sluts who had used the toilet earlier.She asked me to kiss her and while i was snogging her face off she undid my belt took down my pants and started grabbing and slowly wanking my errect cock i enjoyed watching her sucking like a whore a really hungry cow while i was squeezing her solid tits, i was just about to position her over the toilet seat and fuck her doggy ways when i said to her what about the barmaid will she will know what we are up to she laughed and said fuck her i said what do you mean and she said she gets drunker than me you can shag me then go and do it all again if you want with her or you can do whatever you fuckin want with the pair of us we dont fuckin care as long as we get spunked rotten she stood up and started to strip off she told me to do the same, when she was naked she almost fell she really was a right tarty sluttish looking bird but what a great sexy body she took me by the hand and led me into the bar both of us starkers i was thinking what the fuck will the barmaid say when she sees us both naked,but not to worry she was conked out on the chair the blond said right lets have some right old dirty fun as she started to strip her mate off when she was down to her bra and skimpy pants which surprised me as i said she was always dressed frumpy the blond said lift her onto the table which i did by now i had spunk ozzing from the tip of my bursting cock i undid her bra and she had my type of tits not a bad size but huge puffy dark brown nipples and as i spread her on the table the blond pulled her mates arms over her shoulder to reveal hairy armpits thhis i love i really love sniffing and licking armpits the hairier the better anyway i pulled of the barmaids panties and started to smell the gusset which was damp and smelly i licked it and the blond grabbed them and coppied me she really was a sexy kinky bitch, the barmaid was a bit on the tubby belly side but not to much lying down and spread out she looked tasty she had a mass of black hair all round her cunt which went up to a couple of inches from her belly button.here i was sober with a blond with a freshly shaved fanny and a drunk slut with a big blach hairy cunt. now i could not wait any longer i needed to shot my load soon. by now the barmaids eyes were open and she told me to snog her as i was doing this the blond was wanking my cock while she had inserted four fingers into her mate wet cunt,i had made up my mind on what way i was going to fuck them so with me having a quick lick of each of thier cunts i positioned myself between the barmaids open legs and pussy i told the blond to sit on her pals open mouth and let her lick her cunt while i fucked her brains out what a sight as i plunged my cock in and out of this stinking smelly hairy twat the blond was getting a great lick out while she squeezed her pals tits, it only took me minutes to cum with a shudder honest i really pumped my load of spunk right into her cunt,as i slipped out i told the blond to get between her legs and suck the cum out of her fanny the dirty cow could not wait i went to the top of the table and pushed my limp cock into the barmaids mouth she loved it she sucked the spunk that was dripping of the tip and gobbled up my full cock right down to my balls i was fucked by now but the blond said you better fuck me as good as you fucked her or else you cunt. i said its up to you both to get me a another hard on they laughed and said no bother they started kissing and groping each other letting me see the toungs going in and out of thier wet mouths they played with each other tits sucking and biting them they even held thier own tits and rubbed thier nipples against each others,they both stopped and looked at my cock they said its getting hard but we know a trick that will have it solid in no time the barmaid told the blond to lay on the table and to spread her legs and fanny lips the same way she did earlier,she did this and started to finger herself the cow even managed to slip her full fist right up her cunt i had only ever seen this in porn films and books, the barmaid came over with a funnel which was used for filling the spiirt bottles plus a big bottle of white wine and two straws the blond took her fist out of her bald stretched cunt and told me to lick the juice of her fingers,while i was doing this the barmaid told the blond to raise her legs right up to her shoulder she did this no bother at all,the barmaid then pushed the funnel right into her mates cunt and poured the wine into her open cunt it must have taken a glass and a half to fill then she told me to do as she did she pushed her straw into the funnel which was in her mates fanny and started to drink the wine out of her moist cunt the two of us sucked the lot and she filled it up again she then joined straws together six of them and guided them into the blond mouth she was drinking the wine straight from her own cunt,she filled her wide open fanny again and told me to be ready and shove my cock into the blonds cunt as soon as she pulled out the straws and funnel,this i could hardly wait for whoosh out it came and in i went my cock was solid as i pumped for all i was worth the barmaid repaid the earlier favour and sat on the blonds mouth while she squeezed her own tits i was fuckin away while playing with the blonds tits and i also took it in turns to shove a couple of fingers up the barmaid cunt while she sat on the blonds face,i was in heaven i even withdrew from her fanny pushed three fingers up her ass hole then inserted my cock up her arse the barmaid reached down and fisted her pals cunt this was some sensation i could feel her mates fist as i shagged the blonds bum. knowing this was probably a one off i wanted to end with a bang as i slipped my solid cock out her arse i asked them both to shove a bootle of lager up each of thier cunts while i wanked my load into both thier mouths, this was no bother to them i honestly think they would have done anything they really were a guys dirtiest shags ever, they pushed thier heads together while pushing the bottles right up each other open cunts they even touched toungs for extra effect that was it i shot the biggest load i have ever had into both mouths they did not swallow they kept thier mouths wide open to let me see my cum,it was also over thier chins and dripping onto thier tits they then finished of snogging each other then they both swallowed,we all kissed and had a cuddle then we went to clean up in the toilet they really had no shame the barmaid sat down while we both were washing ourselves at the sink and she done a shit. right in front of us she even laughed and i think she was joking when she asked if any of us would like to lick her arse clean now if i had not been totaly spent i might have obliged,anyway i gave them both a lift home they both fell asleep on the journey when i let them both out they kissed me and said heres a souviner and they pressed thier dirty knickers into my hand.it took me over a fortnight to pluck up the courage to go back into the pub when they were on. when i did they both just spoke to me as they normaly would,so here i am sitting drinking at the bar with a hard on thinking of that night and i am still wondering if they remember or not,surely they must even although i know they take an odd tab and they do drink a lot i still need to find out one way or the other if so i will have thought of many more kinky things i would do to them but for now i just live in hope.