Ever since I was 16 or 17 I've had regular periods of a strong desire to suck a cock. In recent years the desire also spread to being fucked, and it's getting atronger.

I've kept this desire to myself, with nerves and the fear of disease always standing in my way. I've had a couple of near misses, and even had my hand round a cock a few years back, but got distrubed before I could fulfill my fantasy. I have come to realise I am bisexual, having this desire but have also been married twice and find women very desirable. Now, in my early 50s, I am finally living alone and eager to pursue my fantasy. The old problems are still there though, so I have had to be satisfied with masturbating to gay porn, as nerves always get in the way when I do get an offer. Another odd thing is I also lose the desire the second I cum, although 30 minutes later it's back! I am most decidedly a bottom, having every desire to suck and be fucked, but none to be a top.

Anyway, I've tried Grindr and have come close to meeting guys, and even had some almost meets on Craigslist (when you could use it for that). I've learnt it has got to be spur of the moment, otherwise I'll think of an excuse and back out.So I put it to the back of my mind the best I can.

This weekend I decided to go to a steam railway to take my mind off things. When I got there I had 20 minutes to wait before the next train, so I made my way to a couple of book stores they have there, browsing through the books but not really interested in having a book on trains.

The second shop was well away from the station, and off the beaten track in an old goods wagon. The guy behind the low counter was sipping at a cup of tea, greeting me with a smile and a hello. I returned both, whilst also thinking how handsome he was. Mid 40s, tall and slim like me, clean shaven and nicely dressed. My mind immediately decided I'd definitely suck his cock. I dismissed the thought and browsed the books for a few minutes, leafing through a couple of nature books and setting them to one side. I approached thee counter and the guy looked inside the covers at the pencilled prices.

'£9 please' he said, smiling at me.

I reached for my wallet and opened it, finding no cash at all. I asked if he took credit cards.

’I'm afraid not he said.

'Bugger. I'd like those as well. Can I pay by doing a bit of cleaning? Washing up?'

He laughed, pointing out neither needed doing, but asking if I could offer anything else.

I laughed nervously and my mouth kicked in before my brain could stop it. 'sexual favours?'. I laughed loudly to make it seem like a joke.

'Well.....never been offered that before for some books!' he said, joining in the laughter. 'what you got in mind?' he asked.

My mouth went off again before I could stop and I blurted out, 'Blowjob?'

'Deal!' he said, and before I knew what was happening, he stood up and locked the door, turning the sign round from open to closed.

'This window doesn't have a blind, so beat if we go in the tiny kitchen.' He nodded his head towards a door behind the counter. He walked over and opened it, gesturing me to go inside.

It really was tiny. A small worksurface with a kettle and a mini fridge on it, one chair against the wall. 'Have a seat' he said.

I sat down, not quite believing what was happening. Nerves took over and my mind raced. He's going beat the crap out of me was all I could think. He shut the door and stood in front of me.

'Crikey! You look nervous!' he said.

I mumbled something incoherent.

'Well, let's see how nervous.....' he said, undoing his belt and dropping his jeans to the floor. He was wearing tight fitting boxers, the bulge at the front looked huge. He hooked his thumbs around the waist band and pulled them down to his ankles. Standing back up, his cock was in full view. Uncut, about 3 inches long and swaying slightly. His balls swung below, completely devoid of any hair, his pubes around his cock trimmed to a few millimetres. He put a hand gently on the back of my head and guided me forward. I reached up with my hand.

'No.' he said. 'Use your mouth only to begin with.'

I dropped my hand and was now within licking distance of his cock. I lowered my head slightly, opened my mouth and sucked his cock into my mouth. He moaned quietly, stroking my head.

I gently sucked his cock, using my tongue on the underside. It tasted of soap and also slightly musky, but a nice taste. He was getting harder by the second and soon felt like a solid rod in my mouth. I reached up with my hand and grasped the shaft, suddenly realising his cock had more than doubled in length. I used my hand to draw back his foreskin while still sucking. As soon as the tip of his cock was exposed I got a new taste and a slick feel on my tongue. He was dripping precum and it tasted wonderful.

I now started to bob my head back and forth, bringing the tip of his cock across my lips, then plunging it back in my mouth. He groaned quietly every time I did this, and louder when I pressed my tongue on the underside of his cock as it slid in to my mouth. A couple of times his cock hit the back of my throat which made me gag, so I used my hand as a kind of back stop, preventing it going too deep.

I stopped bobbing my head and held his cock in my mouth, my tongue circling the tip, causing him to groan even more.

After a few minutes I felt his other hand on my head and, with both hands keeping my head still, he began to slowly fuck my mouth. I was in heaven, my tongue all over the tip of his cock, savouring the precum as it oozed from his cock.

His fucking started to pick up speed, his grip on my head tightening. Saliva was dripping off my chin and my jaw ached a little, but there was no way I was letting this cock out of my mouth. I had waited for this all my life! He settled on a medium pace and his groaning got louder.

'I'm getting close,' he said. 'Fuck! Really close! Keep doing that with your tongue!'

I circled the tip of his cock with my tongue as much as I could, matching this with his thrusts.

'oooo-hhhhhh.....Gonna.......cum!' he said.

His thrusts slowed and I had to think quickly. I wanted to taste his cum, not have it shoot straight down my throat, so I moved my hand up the shaft, positioning the tip of his cock right in the middle of my tongue. As I did so he slid his cock out and back in my mouth once more, slowly, then froze. I felt his legs tremble and saw his balls tighten. His cock swelled in my mouth and I felt it throb. A split second later I got another new taste. Cum. A small drop leaked from the tip of his cock and I was momentarily disappointed. Is that it? His cock throbbed again and answered my thought, a strong spurt of spunk shot across my tongue and against my throat. It tasted salty but kind of sweet. I gulped it down and, hearing me swallow, he groaned louder than ever. Throb, squirt, throb, squirt, throb, squirt. I was in heaven as his cum spurted from his cock time and again. I had to swallow three or four times to keep up. The spurts slowed and finally stopped, but I kept sucking to make sure I had every drop. His cock started to soften, his hands stroking my head as I cleaned his cock, getting every last bit of spunk. He withdrew it from my mouth and I squeezed the shaft from base to tip, a small drop of cum appearing at the tip. I licked it off, swallowing on more time.

'Fuck! That was fantastic!' he said.

I smiled at him 'God.....your spunk tasted awesome!' I said.

'The books are yours!' he said, winking at me. He reached down and pulled his boxers and jeans up.

I followed him out and picked up my books as he unlocked the door.

'I'm here every weekend' he said.

'Then I'll be back again very soon' I replied. 'I might even forget to bring cash'.

He smiled at me. 'Well, you know what's in store for you if you do.....'

I walked slowly past him, my hand brushing against his crotch as I did so.

'Yep,' I said and gave him a wink.

Walking back to the car with the taste of spunk in my mouth is an experience I want again, soon. I drove home wondering if I could get him to fuck me, and finish in my mouth. His spunk tasted too good to be anywhere but shooting over my tongue. I might even admit to him that his was the first spunk I ever tasted.

I want to do that again, real soon.