In the last few days I have shared some stories of some of the incredible experiences I have had in the lifestyle. From the point of view of anyone reading them, it must seem like I have had an amazing Porno'esque run as a Swinger! I assure you, its certainly not all Vagazzle and Unicorns! I've had some seriously sketchy experiences as well. One or two I even feared for my life! So, if you fancy a laugh at my experience, please read on... I have said it before, I started out in the lifestyle in a different country, but on that particular countries exact same version of this site. Their "quickie" personal section is a busy one...and offers loads of meets daily for anyone looking for some fun. One experience was equally scary and funny. I was looking at the 'quickies' and an offer for a Dogging meet pops up, less than a mile from my place of work. It was posted by a couple...and just after my closing time, I figured it could be fun. I reply, they accept and give me the details of their car. Its seriously risky so close to my workplace, but when you are horny...well, you dont really think things through! I get there, spot the car and pull up alongside. There they are, just as described, a young attractive couple in their mid 20's. So far, so good. I climb out and greet them. They look visibly nervous, I stay calm. Its not dark, and there is quite a bit of traffic around. The young lady suggests we get to it...but I share my concerns, and say that its a little dangerous and we are asking to get caught. She looks disappointed. She then makes a suggestion that I just knew as she said it was a bad idea..."we live around the corner, lets go back to our place" Once again, against my better judgement, I agree. I follow them to their place, they lived in a very nice cottage in the gardens of her parents property. She assures me that its completely private. Once inside, the male sits down on the couch and starts to watch the Rugby on the TV. I sit down on the opposite end of the same couch. I notice he already smells of Beer, and no sooner has he sat down, but he has another in his hand. I decline the offer for one. She sits inbetween us and is very flirty. Hand on my thigh and very openly shows me her pierced nipples. I'm in that zone where nothings happening, even though I am trying to initiate anything, just so I know whats going on. She assures me that we will have some great fun, she is going to have a quick shower and then come back and we will fuck. In my mind I give myself 20 minutes...if nothings happened by then, I walk. She leaves. I may as well have left as well, coz he just drinks himself deeper into a Brandy induced state of rage. He keeps telling me that I better fuck her good or he will fuck me up. That then changes to how good a fuck she is. I sit, agitated. She then walks in, totally naked...except for a Strap-on with a 6" black cock bouncing!! "Whats that for?!" I ask. "I'm going to fuck you both" is her reply. At this point I leave! To this day, I wonder what her parents must have thought at the site of me reversing out of their yard, at speed, with a drunk guy screaming at me "SHE WILL FUCK YOU PROPERLY" Another experience happened with a couple that I initially thought were chilled and laid back. We started chatting through the site, she was killer sexy, and he was easy going. About the same age, mid to late 40's. We agreed to meet for dinner one night to see if there was chemistry. Awesome couple, really sexy. Just as advertised. But...he was Vice President of a notorious Motorbike Club. Bare in mind, this is in a country where firearms are legal, and MC clubs are huge. And not something you fuck around with. I enjoy their company for dinner, and I get a kick out of the risk and thrill at the thought of having some fun with them. Boy would I regret this! About a month later, she contacts me, asking what I am up to that night, and did I want to come over. Naturally, I agree. She sends me the address, and off I go. I arrive at their gates, but she doesnt answer the intercom. I call her mobile, she doesnt answer. Just as I put the car into reverse, the gates open. I see her at the front door...and so I drive in. I walk to the door, and she stumbles out...pissed out of her bracket. I can barely understand her. I ask where her husband is...and she manages to tell me "he's at a fucking club meeting till 9" I suddenly feel very very bad about this. Does he know I am here tonight I ask her. She avoids answering, and walks up and starts hugging me and kissing me. Now, I know that he knows that I want to bang his wife, but the golden rule is, you never play alone with one member of the couple missing, especially if they havent given their blessing. I start telling her I dont want to play, and would prefer to leave. She's having none of it...takes my hand forcefully and starts trying to lead me upstairs to the bedroom. I refuse. She then gets angry, and throws a small tantrum...and falls over into the cabinet. In my mind I am laughing at how this is like a badly scripted episode of Sons of Anarchy...but I also know enough to be shitting myself because I know that VP's never ride alone, and seeing as their Swinger activities are unknown to their fellow clubmates, its not going to end well if he arrives home with his man-at-arms and I'm balls deep in his wife. I try calling his phone, but theres no answer. She is pleading with me to fuck her...and as much as I try to get into my car and leave, she wont let me! Then...I hear motorbikes. She storms inside immediately, leaving me in their driveway. The gates open, and in comes her husband and two other guys. He looks at me, somewhat puzzled. Have you watched the original Fast & the Furious where Vin Diesels character tells Paul Walkers character he has to really think about his answer to the next question? Well, that was me to myself as they are climbing off their bikes and eyeing me up and down. Her husband looks at me, somewhat puzzled and a little worried that I am about to reveal something he would rather be kept private. "Dude, what are you doing here?" Luckily I do look the part, tattooed and interesting, so when I answer "Was in the area, wanted to know if you still had that Yoshi pipe for sale?" The relief on his face must have been mirrored by mine when he played along. No sooner had I left, and he called me to ask what had happened. I told him truthfully, and he thanked me for my honesty. I never heard from her again after that. Those are two of the more extreme cases I have experienced. The others are your standard stinky orifices and stained undies kind! The kind of stuff that makes you question what the actual fuck you are doing!! But, then you meet a fantastic couple or singleton, and the sex is so fantastic that you forget imminent death by Mad Bikers and ass rape from a young woman. Its a cool and interesting lifestyle, thats for sure!