Manners...do you have them?

There has been a general trend recently of people acting in an impolite and in some cases aggressive and rude way in the chat room.

I'm hoping that this post will be read by those people (mostly single guys it has to be said) who feel its ok to randomly message people having a) not even read their profile b) not taken any notice if it says the person doesn't want to be contacted (even if that's limited to certain categories of people) or c) without having asked to PM first (unless you're already mates of course 😉 )

So for clarity, if you want to get a good reputation on the site (and maybe even meet some lovely sexy people- who knows!) then I'd advise this:

1) ASK in the main room before you PM (and if they say no thank you, take it with good grace and move on!)

2) DO NOT send random pictures either in Chat DM's or via the inbox, especially if they happen to include your genitals- when its not wanted, its VERY off-putting and will get you a reputation as a bit of a creep.. trust me, you don't want that reputation!

3) If somebody blocks you, just take that as a polite "no thank you" the couples and ladies on the site get a LOT of interest and the best way for them to manage that is to block those people they're not interested in. Getting ratty about it, reacting badly or otherwise making a big deal about it just makes you look like you can't handle a polite refusal, which makes you much less attractive to other people who see these kinds of exchanges.

4) If you're abusive, refuse to acknowledge peoples consent (or lack of it!) or are extremely rude to people, don't expect any sympathy from the rest of the room or the site mods, we wont feel sorry for you; its your behaviour that gives people the impression that a lot of the single guys on here are troublesome.

Having said all of the above, if you do receive unwanted pics, abusive or otherwise very rude approaches, please do report it to the mods as soon as you can with as much detail as you can, so we can take action to keep the site free from people who give us all a bad name- we know its not everyone and we know its not even many, but those few people can really spoil the experience for others and that will not be tolerated.

Happy to chat with anyone about this subject if you have questions.

Lap

Absolutely agree with this — it’s such an important reminder. A bit of respect and good manners go a long way in keeping the chatroom a welcoming and enjoyable place for everyone.

Before messaging someone, take the time to read their profile, respect any boundaries they’ve set, and always ask before sending a PM. And if someone says “no thank you,” accept it graciously and move on — that’s just basic respect.

Unwanted pictures or pushy, rude messages aren’t just unpleasant; they damage the atmosphere for everyone and give decent people a bad name. As mods, we do take that sort of behaviour seriously, because everyone deserves a positive and respectful experience here.

We all benefit from a friendly, respectful community, so thanks for speaking up about this — it really needed to be said.

Excellent advice that I sincerley hope is followed to help make this a pleasent, fun and safe place for everyone. I would also like to personally add that NOBODY is entitled to anything from anyone, being on a swinging site does not mean you have to put up with anything that makes you uncomfortable and "NO" is a complete sentence! I would reiterate what Lap has said about reporting any issues to one of us and it WILL be dealt with, probably also be worth remembering that sending unsolicited pics of your genitals can also be considered cyberflashing...

Most people here are respectful but of course it's the few whose impact has a disproportionately negative effect on everyone else. Thankfully, they tend to come and go quite quickly though and having been here over 20 years we feel that the moderators can now weed them out far quicker now than was once the case. Rather than letting people's bad manners ruin this site, just report, block them and move on. They are everywhere in life and we have to just accept it. Imagine how nice it would be to be able to 'block' those noisy or inconsiderate neighbours for example. We can do that here with a click of a mouse...

Just to reiterate what has already been said.

I met my mrs on here a few years ago now ,and as some people know, she is a wee bit younger than me (cough) but we got togther because, as she said at the time, I had manners and a sense of humour.

Both of which will probably get you laid quicker than a 14 inch willie and the ability to breathe through your ears, it is better to be on peoples rader because of the right reasons than the wrong ones.

And just to elaborate on what Morathi states above. NO means No,not maybe, not aye ok if you spam me with millions of pictures of your willie from every angle, and basically annoy me, I will cave in and say YES, it means NO and thats it.