Hugs,
The chat 'picture' in your icon should be determined by what you have as your profile picture, based on any Public Gallery pictures you have.
Therefore if a Private Gallery picture is being selected as your chat 'picture' icon when you don't have a profile picture set, then it's a system issue and you'll need to contact Support asap.
use http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/support-tickets/new-ticket.html and let tehm have the details, or even just this thread http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/363784.html so as to save your re-typing or using 'copy and paste' and submit.
(Support Ticket usually faster as the support team don't always get chance to read the Forums depending how busy they are)
Hope this helps
Thanks for the response.I've sent s ticket in, I deleted the picture earlier but it's still there when I go in chat. luckily its only tiny but I really don't want it there.