hiya I will propably be treated has an out-cast after this thread,but if people cant speak freely what is the point in a chatroom lounge..Not mentioning any names or rooms,but i think it is wrong for s.h members to run other s.h members down when they are not there to defend people make there own minds up about people and not just go by hear you have a problem with someone have the balls to say it direct to them not slag them off behind there backs ..It a bit like begin back in the school play ground some days on here. They do say you can do a 100 good things but if you do 1 bad thing you will be remembered for that....... GREAT MINDS DISCUSS IDEAS,,,AVERAGE MINDS DISCUSS EVENTS,,, SMALL MINDS DISCUSS PEOPLE ....... sal xxxxx
Quote by Sally_couple hiya I will propably be treated has an out-cast after this thread,but if people cant speak freely what is the point in a chatroom lounge..Not mentioning any names or rooms,but i think it is wrong for s.h members to run other s.h members down when they are not there to defend people make there own minds up about people and not just go by hear you have a problem with someone have the balls to say it direct to them not slag them off behind there backs ..It a bit like begin back in the school play ground some days on here. They do say you can do a 100 good things but if you do 1 bad thing you will be remembered for that....... GREAT MINDS DISCUSS IDEAS,,,AVERAGE MINDS DISCUSS EVENTS,,, SMALL MINDS DISCUSS PEOPLE ....... sal xxxxx
Just wondering whether we've fallen victim to this, or whether we're just having technical difficulties. The story goes thusly... We (well wifey mostly) have been having some good laughs in the chat room. We've also been camming with a few people. In case you haven't guessed, we haven't broken our real-life swinging duck yet, but things seemed to be going well enough. We decided to perform on cam for a guy, which was fun. Trouble was that he wouldn't leave us alone after that. A constant in-flow of messages into our inbox whenever he saw us on-line (we'd have replied in our own time, but he wanted an instant response.) He was also forever getting us on messenger, asking us if we'd cam again and expressing his disappointment and asking us to reconsider when we wouldn't. I thought the first rule of this swinging malarkey was that 'no' meant 'no.' After a couple of days, we'd had enough and I told him as much. He told us that everyone in the chat room was bitching about us after we left because we didn't know what we wanted. We took it with a pinch of salt at the time. But seeing as we're either invisible or being ignored in the chat room right now, we're starting to wonder whether he's been spreading rumours. We've noticed that he's still looking at our profile every day, so we don't think the matter is settled as far as he's concerned. Comments, and preferably reassurances, would be appreciated at this point. I suppose if all else fails, we'll just stop using the chat room. We're still getting plenty of interesting offers elsewhere on SH ;)
Its always worth popping in a report (go to members profile and use the report button - all confidential) so issues can be looked into. Don't forget - you can also put a member on ignore - never get another mail from said member then!! Open a message from member - along the bottom of your mail are tabs, click ignore Or have a word with your friendly chat ops :) :)
Thanks for the reassurances. They're exactly what we were looking for. We're not too sure about etiquette at this point (we've only been here just over a week) so we really don't want to report the guy. Perhaps some people like 'pushy.' Perhaps some are always happy to perform on cam at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, for him, that just isn't us. We weren't comfortable with the situation and he'd already ignored a request to tone things down. We felt that it was our right to end the interaction. We weren't bothered until wifey was seemingly ignored in all of the rooms last night. As I said first time around, it could be a technical issue. Though after his comment that people in chat were bitching behind our backs, we wondered whether he'd been spreading a malicious rumour of some sort to make sure that people ignored us. We're going away for a few nights, but we'll give chat another go once we get back. Thanks again
Okay, we're getting a feel for things now, and we've realised that it's often the norm to go into chat and find that nobody wants to talk to you. Lots are already bogged down in whispers, and I suspect that a few have gone to sleep. The guy in question seems to have stopped checking our profile now, so hopefully that's the end of it. I just hope he isn't giving another bunch of newbies the same hassle that he gave us.
Quote by sweetencounter Okay, we're getting a feel for things now, and we've realised that it's often the norm to go into chat and find that nobody wants to talk to you. Lots are already bogged down in whispers, and I suspect that a few have gone to sleep. The guy in question seems to have stopped checking our profile now, so hopefully that's the end of it. I just hope he isn't giving another bunch of newbies the same hassle that he gave us.
Which is why you should report him. I have seen lots of bitching and slagging off of members in the chatroom, once by a couple we were arranging to meet. We cancelled and told them exactly why. There is no need for it!! No matter what anyone says, it happens!! It's shit and it does put people off. I wouldnt meet anyone who does it and there are some people who I originally thought were friends who I am a liitle wiery of now after hearing them slag off other site members. People can talk about me as much as they like (although as far as I am aware no one has). While theyre bitching about me they're leaving someone else alone and as long as I know, and my genuine friends know shit aint true then I say feck em!!!
People can talk about me as much as they like (although as far as I am aware no one has).
You've not heard then Dave_Notts Ooooh do tell, I love a bit of gossip :lol: If ya tell me, I'll order you a pizza!! Pizza!!!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmm pizza You know how to entice me :lol: Dave_Notts PS No olives
Quote by Kaznkev Okay, we're getting a feel for things now, and we've realised that it's often the norm to go into chat and find that nobody wants to talk to you. Lots are already bogged down in whispers, and I suspect that a few have gone to sleep. The guy in question seems to have stopped checking our profile now, so hopefully that's the end of it. I just hope he isn't giving another bunch of newbies the same hassle that he gave us.
Which is why you should report him. I have seen lots of bitching and slagging off of members in the chatroom, once by a couple we were arranging to meet. We cancelled and told them exactly why. There is no need for it!! No matter what anyone says, it happens!! It's shit and it does put people off. I wouldnt meet anyone who does it and there are some people who I originally thought were friends who I am a liitle wiery of now after hearing them slag off other site members. People can talk about me as much as they like (although as far as I am aware no one has). While theyre bitching about me they're leaving someone else alone and as long as I know, and my genuine friends know shit aint true then I say feck em!!! Dont worry,all we ever say is has she got her kit off! :lol: Who me???? never!!!!
Quote by Funlovers2009 Okay, we're getting a feel for things now, and we've realised that it's often the norm to go into chat and find that nobody wants to talk to you. Lots are already bogged down in whispers, and I suspect that a few have gone to sleep. The guy in question seems to have stopped checking our profile now, so hopefully that's the end of it. I just hope he isn't giving another bunch of newbies the same hassle that he gave us.
Which is why you should report him. I have seen lots of bitching and slagging off of members in the chatroom, once by a couple we were arranging to meet. We cancelled and told them exactly why. There is no need for it!! No matter what anyone says, it happens!! It's shit and it does put people off. I wouldnt meet anyone who does it and there are some people who I originally thought were friends who I am a liitle wiery of now after hearing them slag off other site members. People can talk about me as much as they like (although as far as I am aware no one has). While theyre bitching about me they're leaving someone else alone and as long as I know, and my genuine friends know shit aint true then I say feck em!!! Point taken, though in our defence, we were total newbies (only here a couple of days) and hadn't got a feel for what was 'normal.' Everyone else so far has been perfectly respectful. We haven't had to block a solitary person apart from this guy, because people have been prepared to leave us some space and not message us every 10 minutes if they see us on-line but we haven't responded to their latest PM. If it happened now, I wouldn't hesitate to report him. As it stands, perhaps he's calmed down and deserves a second chance. I really don't know. It wouldn't be fair of me to identify him in public, or probably even in private for that matter. Though based on his attitude, and how far out of kilter it seems to be with the rest of the site, I wouldn't be surprised if most people had a pretty good idea of who I was talking about anyway. I should clarify that this guy has not, to the best of my knowledge, bad-mouthed us in chat. When we were telling us to leave him alone, he did tell us that others in chat had been bitching about us because "we didn't know what we wanted." He's probably right to a degree (about the 'not knowing' rather than the bitching) though I'm sure we're not the first newbies to show up here full of fantasies and wild ideas, only to find through experience and common sense that some of them are best left as fantasies. I'm half tempted to unblock him, see if he starts harassing us again, and then report him if he does. Though perhaps the most sensible thing for us to do at this point is leave things as they are and enjoy the respectful, non-pushy members of the site, who seem to be by far the majority.
Quote by sweetencounter Okay, we're getting a feel for things now, and we've realised that it's often the norm to go into chat and find that nobody wants to talk to you. Lots are already bogged down in whispers, and I suspect that a few have gone to sleep. The guy in question seems to have stopped checking our profile now, so hopefully that's the end of it. I just hope he isn't giving another bunch of newbies the same hassle that he gave us.
Which is why you should report him. I have seen lots of bitching and slagging off of members in the chatroom, once by a couple we were arranging to meet. We cancelled and told them exactly why. There is no need for it!! No matter what anyone says, it happens!! It's shit and it does put people off. I wouldnt meet anyone who does it and there are some people who I originally thought were friends who I am a liitle wiery of now after hearing them slag off other site members. People can talk about me as much as they like (although as far as I am aware no one has). While theyre bitching about me they're leaving someone else alone and as long as I know, and my genuine friends know shit aint true then I say feck em!!! Point taken, though in our defence, we were total newbies (only here a couple of days) and hadn't got a feel for what was 'normal.' Everyone else so far has been perfectly respectful. We haven't had to block a solitary person apart from this guy, because people have been prepared to leave us some space and not message us every 10 minutes if they see us on-line but we haven't responded to their latest PM. If it happened now, I wouldn't hesitate to report him. As it stands, perhaps he's calmed down and deserves a second chance. I really don't know. It wouldn't be fair of me to identify him in public, or probably even in private for that matter. Though based on his attitude, and how far out of kilter it seems to be with the rest of the site, I wouldn't be surprised if most people had a pretty good idea of who I was talking about anyway. I should clarify that this guy has not, to the best of my knowledge, bad-mouthed us in chat. When we were telling us to leave him alone, he did tell us that others in chat had been bitching about us because "we didn't know what we wanted." He's probably right to a degree (about the 'not knowing' rather than the bitching) though I'm sure we're not the first newbies to show up here full of fantasies and wild ideas, only to find through experience and common sense that some of them are best left as fantasies. I'm half tempted to unblock him, see if he starts harassing us again, and then report him if he does. Though perhaps the most sensible thing for us to do at this point is leave things as they are and enjoy the respectful, non-pushy members of the site, who seem to be by far the majority. :thumbup: No need to defend yourself at all hunni, you have done nowt wrong. Enjoy the site, there are some arseholes on here but they are far outweighed by the lovely genuine people. As for knowing what you want, no one does when they first start out and as you have more experience your wants will evolve. There are people who've been here for years and still dont know what they want!! All you can do is take it one step at a time, as long as you're having fun thats all that matters xx
What people say behind your back is your standing in the community it's been said however I have to say I hate badmouthing if you can't say anything nice then say nothing is my outlook. Your perception of something may not be correct or fair, like it or not Human emotions are in play and factor in all exchanges on here. Rise above it and be the better person. Jeez I sound boring sometimes lol.
Quote by motorcyclerob What people say behind your back is your standing in the community it's been said however I have to say I hate badmouthing if you can't say anything nice then say nothing is my outlook. Your perception of something may not be correct or fair, like it or not Human emotions are in play and factor in all exchanges on here. Rise above it and be the better person. Jeez I sound boring sometimes lol.
I agree! And I'd rather be boring than be a bitch! Initially it bothered me that people were talking behind my back but after a while it just made me laugh... apart from anything else, it just shows their insecurities. I know the truth and if people choose to believe others then that's their lookout! :mrgreen:
Quote by Dirtygirly What people say behind your back is your standing in the community it's been said however I have to say I hate badmouthing if you can't say anything nice then say nothing is my outlook. Your perception of something may not be correct or fair, like it or not Human emotions are in play and factor in all exchanges on here. Rise above it and be the better person. Jeez I sound boring sometimes lol.
I agree! And I'd rather be boring than be a bitch! Initially it bothered me that people were talking behind my back but after a while it just made me laugh... apart from anything else, it just shows their insecurities. I know the truth and if people choose to believe others then that's their lookout! :mrgreen: I think it also shows that you're an exciting person, far from boring, I mean no-one gossips about people who say or do nothing. Try and think of yourself as an SH celebrity and get your paps out
Quote by Dirtygirly Initially it bothered me that people were talking behind my back but after a while it just made me laugh... apart from anything else, it just shows their insecurities. I know the truth and if people choose to believe others then that's their lookout!
0 likes
