Yes....went out on my once-weekly (weakly ?) meet-the-natives-in-the-sticks foray, designed to find out the truth about dogging.
Is there any ?
Location: A Layby (I know, hardly original)
Has-been-dogged factor: 100%
Used to be surrounded by trees on the road side of the layby, I noted that the trees are now branchless to 4 metres.
Wheelie bins ?..... the old-timers would be aghast.
But.
It was empty ! (except for one other car)
Oh well, better go and look....wander along.....pass the car....two guys.
Not good.
Go back. Window comes down.....
Occupant: "anything ever happen in this place"
Me: "dunno what you mean, just stopped 'cause I was tired" (I may be old but a dash full of leds always means police to me)
Occupant two: "well you'd better go then 'cause nothings going on here tonight"
Me: "what do you mean"
Occupant two: "go on, just fuck off...police"
Oh well, with these two in it this place was never going to be a goer.....better go to the woods...if everyone ain't here, they must be there.
Drove into the wood carpark.....swung the car about....drove out the wood carpark...another single car with two guys in it.
Is it just me....
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Alone (almost) in a layby
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Orgasminator
Hi Jomu, here's a thought for you, perhaps we should all start dogging in town centre car parks. It would guarantee a police presence and should lower car crime rate drmaticaly. 
On a serious note it is not that bad over our way yet, but i am certain it's only a matter of time before the death knell rings on us all. :cry:
On a serious note it is not that bad over our way yet, but i am certain it's only a matter of time before the death knell rings on us all. :cry:
Oh, I don't know 'dipity.....it's kinda refreshing......
I'm too old for all this:
"Good evening sir, did you know this layby is used by males looking for sex with other males "
It usually leads to a response similar to:
"Is it :shock: ....never knew that....is this a pass mate, 'cause if it is I ain't that interested"
So, the "fuck off twat" is sorta....well....familiar....almost like being in the death throes of marriage....again.
You gotta remember, these guys have a difficult job to do.... fuck-off is better than "lets discuss this in a dark, locked, room :shock:
I'm too old for all this:
"Good evening sir, did you know this layby is used by males looking for sex with other males "
It usually leads to a response similar to:
"Is it :shock: ....never knew that....is this a pass mate, 'cause if it is I ain't that interested"
So, the "fuck off twat" is sorta....well....familiar....almost like being in the death throes of marriage....again.
You gotta remember, these guys have a difficult job to do.... fuck-off is better than "lets discuss this in a dark, locked, room :shock:
Quote by Serendipity
Occupant two: "go on, just fuck off...police"
Police officers telling members of the public to "f*ck off* out of public places? Must have been sent on a new verbal communications course. How rude! :shock:
I'd have asked to see I.D- as "no member of the police force would speak to a law abiding member of the public in this way surely?"
It would have either embarrased them, or landed me inside for the night- but hey, im the kinda girl to suffer a night in the cells for the priviledge of knowing I'd made them feel stupid.
Sex God
My retort would have been "I'm taxed...........I'm insured...........I'm mot'd............I have every right to stop here if i feel weary........."
Quote by Mallock2006
My retort would have been "I'm taxed...........I'm insured...........I'm mot'd............I have every right to stop here if i feel weary........."
Yeah....I've tried that, many times.
It works the first time, but gets a little hackneyed after that. And if it's the same pair of cops who you told the same story to each night of the week.....it tends to be not believed !
Besides, being searched, having the car searched and being breathalysed also gets very tiring.
The alternative line works though:
"could you tell me what you're doing here at this time sir"
"waiting for the dog"
"you've lost a dog here ?"
"no, there's a guy who walks up-and-down the layby with no kit on except a collar and lead....he wants people to take him for a walk in the woods...he's called the dog"
silence
silence
silence
"and why would he be doing that"
"don't know, that's why I'm waiting....to ask him"
They left shortly after that....I never did find out why....anyway, I prefer the direct "fuck off"....it's kinda got the familiar touch....not so impersonal.
Anyway....Saturday night in Herts.....missed the boat....turned-up just as the fem was getting dressed....bastard. Knew I shouldn't have stopped at Stevenage. The only other couple were looking for another couple.....I may have to get an inflateable doll and tell them "she's shy.....but she watches from the car"
Hey !
That's another excuse for being there "my blow-up doll's got a puncture"
Master of Sex
I must admit that if someone had spoken to me in that manner,I would call the police myself and ask for a patrol to attend ,preferably with a sergeant on board and made a report of someone impersonating a police officer and I would not the patrol arrived I would explain what had happened and ask he investigate,he would be obliged to,if they were actual officers I would make a formal complaint,it probably wouldn't go anywhere but would make that officer think twice before speaking to anyone like that is conduct unbecoming of a police officer,a breach of the discipline may have thought he was being clever but believe me,officers don't like being complained about,if you've done nothing wrong,which you hadn't,no one should speak to you like that,especially a police officer,just a suggestion for future reference,I hope this helps,john
