dogging display team

3 Jan 2008

The Dirtys do a road trip eh, now this could go either 2 ways. It could be a truly liberating experience for all involved, or it could be reminicent of national lampoons cross counntry holiday complete with pies lol

Now we would definately love to see the ensuing circus enfold in all it's detail at our local dogging spot. I can see it now the old boys who stand on the canal bridge overlooking the car park doing a leap of faith into the 3ft brackish water like a bunch of trimmed and toned Brazilian base jumpers.
The mood lighting supplied by a moored barge refracting the light across the water to play on highly polished jack boots. :shock:
I think i'd better leave it here and put the cork back in the red wine for tonight. :lol:

3 Jan 2008

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Can I be involved in this please?

You can be the official boot checker for the ladies, ensuring we are all wearing long, sexy boots and that they are appropriate for the occassion wink

Excellent, of course I would be applying myself to the task in a professional manner, and 'brownie points' will be awarded to those that accessorise with other leather or pvc items of clothing

4 Jan 2008

I can't believe this is three years old and that we talk just as much poop now as we did then!!
I'm having a warm fuzzy moment!*
*I might just need a wee though redface

Edit: waves to Shad, LTNS! biggrin

4 Jan 2008

Quote by shad
The Dirtys do a road trip eh, now this could go either 2 ways. It could be a truly liberating experience for all involved, or it could be reminicent of national lampoons cross counntry holiday complete with pies

Shad

It would be more National Lampoon than liberating liason I can assure you redface

People might wonder why I have on two occassions now made reference to a "rubber dildo" hanging from my trousers? surprised

ops: You see, were our shows to be "accidental" as in "us having sex in our car" only to become aware of shadowy figures silently peering in, then there would never be a problem..
As you know yourself though, the game isn't often like that :lol: More often than not, for us at least, it's a bit of a panic..Some of the single fellas won't understand the angle maybe?, but getting it "just right" CAN be a bit of a lottery..One of the variables being the little issue of maintaining "wood" in extreme situations :lol: . Now i'm what you'd call an erectile male in that i'm "up" more than i'm "down" if you get my drift? But, every fella here will no doubt understand that strange phenomenon of "pecker paralysis" that is apt to stike when it's least convenient :oops: ..Now personally,I myself have never suffered from that alcohol induced state of flacidness known as "brewer's droop". In fact, it could be said the strength of my erection increases in direct proportion to the amount of rocket fuel i've consumed. This fact alone has been problematic, considering some of the sights i've been greeted with "of a morning after" confused

(and some of the places i've woken up in). Even today, my moonshine induced depravity never ceases to amaze even me :shock: Most fellas, after a good night out :? "stagger" home..Not me, I crawl home on all fives cool

..If I DO collapse, i'm not found in a shop doorway like respectable drunks, i'm usually found "propped" up in an alleyway somewhere, the thunder in my trousers being of such intensity it acts like the third leg of a tripod rolleyes

Anyway, as I was saying..Unfortunatly, driving to a carpark does kinds mean staying sober, which, by and large never constitutes a problem..However, on the odd occassion, the owd chap can, and HAS let me down..Fearing this might be an issue, we did take the precaution of bringing along a rubber knob for our first show..or maybe it was the second, I don't remember..What I can recal, is the fact that back then, we'd happily show for large crowds, ten, fifteen, around that figure somewhere..Needless to say, the attention was instant, but back then at least, there were still enough "old school" guys around for that to not be a problem..Knowing that I might suffer opening night nerves, I felt it would be a wise safeguard to stuff the latex sausage down my pants and then conceal it under my jacket. Using slight of hand and some distraction techniques i'd seamlessly be able to bring the rubber rascal into play, passing it off as my own in the half light of the forest carpark..It wasn't actually that simple..In hindsight, rubber, by the nature of the material will try to conform to it's intended shape, which in this instance was long and straight, NOT bent like a banana :oops: At some point in the pre show fumble, it made a bid for freedom and triumphed :shock: Ten or more faces fell silent as ten inches of high grade sillicone rubber sprang out from nowhere and stunned itself against the steering wheel like a suicidal haddock :shock:
Mrs Dirty was hysterical, whilst i was left screaming "jump on it, quick, we've only been fucking rumbled" :lol: We had to leg it..But driving through the potholes with the massive moulded manhood still wedged in my fly zipper didn't make for the most dignified exit from a dogging carpark :oops: My enduring memory was of the large growd, now gaping open mouthed at the sight of the biggest cock they'd ever seen now thudding against the window like a bald, naked abductee and swaying back and forth like a "queen's wave" :twisted:
More recently, with "shows" in mind, we purchased a lesser beast, but still demonstrating enough veiny detail as to pass for the real deal should the lighting be appropiately subtle..Again, but this time without onlookers, it was problematic in that although I was able to button my flies tightly around it lest it became detatched mid show :shock: It's elastic nature made it all but impossible to remove without first tearing one of the buttons from it's mount :? Again I had to drive home with the tackle in-situ, only this time, leant gently against the steering wheel like a sleeping baby. We WILL persevere, and i'm sure we'll get it right, eventually :lol:
Probably the scenario that gives rise to my concearns lays in that strange dogger exodus to MY window when Mrs Dirty is sucking me orrf :oops: Five fellas now concentrating their focus on me owd chap is generally going to have a wilting effect :oops: maybe i've just got a bashfull boner :oops: The effect showed it's ugly head (again, pun unintentional) on a visit to one of the Peterborough venues..Feeling brave, and in the company of eight or so polite fellas we decided to perform up close and personal against the side of the car..Mrs Dirty, now naked except for black boots and gloves (looking for all the world like the five of spades) :oops: adopted the "frisk" position against the door.I then confidently announced to the enthralled gathering that I was sink my six and three quarter portion of blue vein right up her dirt box, to the nuts 8-) The group gasped, as one..Anyway, I lobbed, and it was immediately evident that all was not well in the trouser department :? Having first spread Ds legs wide enough apart, then gotton her to adopt a slight crouch in order to give me at least a fighting chance of entry, I felt certain that once the beast had been manouvred into position it would rise to the occassion :? Fuck me! It was like trying to poke a marshmallow through a button hole :oops: I then went for the Jack, feeling the enveloping warmth may swell things, but even that was like trying to play snooker with a piece of rope :oops: Then the remarks started "do you want us to try?" :roll: :lol: followed by a chorus of laughter :oops: It was humiliating to say the least..Mrs Dirty was less than chuffed :cry: A stunt cock would have saved the day, and spared my blushes :P I shrugged my shoulders, apologised and we left..By the time we'd left the carpark, I had a raging fucking semi on :?

4 Jan 2008

Quote by Serendipity

I can't believe this is three years old and that we talk just as much poop now as we did then!!
I'm having a warm fuzzy moment!*
*I might just need a wee though

I can believe it (and can I watch wink

:lol: )
Uncle - I nearly spontaneously combusted several times through laughing too hard at that post, I was clutching my chest and could do nowt.
I'll never be able to play cards again with a straight face now.
Regards
Harry Jones

8 Jan 2008

Quote by dirtydoggers
Mrs Dirty, now naked except for black boots and gloves

Every story is just drip feeding me, this is torture!

8 Jan 2008

Quote by essex34m
Mrs Dirty, now naked except for black boots and gloves

Every story is just drip feeding me, this is torture!
Well, that can be arranged as well whip

or

jsut take your pick :twisted:

8 Jan 2008

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Mrs Dirty, now naked except for black boots and gloves

Every story is just drip feeding me, this is torture!
Well, that can be arranged as well whip

or

jsut take your pick :twisted:
I'm greedy, I will have both please :twisted:

9 Jan 2008

Did anyone initiate Widey before letting him loose in the Dogging section?
How remiss - what can we do about that? :twisted:

9 Jan 2008

What about including a charitable gesture.
I mean all these sperm going to waste. we could invite a sperm bank to collect on site. think about all the childless couples

9 Jan 2008

Quote by Serendipity
Did anyone initiate Widey before letting him loose in the Dogging section?
How remiss - what can we do about that? :twisted:

If yuo initiate him, I will do the customary dogging of you both lol

And then we get him to work cleaning the boots :twisted:
Talking about boots, got a little card from nice Mr Postman today saying he has a nice big parcel waiting for meat the sorting office (new thigh length ones with heels <<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>> this big) :lol:

9 Jan 2008

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Did anyone initiate Widey before letting him loose in the Dogging section?
How remiss - what can we do about that? :twisted:

If yuo initiate him, I will do the customary dogging of you both lol

And then we get him to work cleaning the boots :twisted:
Talking about boots, got a little card from nice Mr Postman today saying he has a nice big parcel waiting for meat the sorting office (new thigh length ones with heels <<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>> this big) :lol:
So what have I got to do to get you both alone in a car park? :twisted:

9 Jan 2008

Quote by essex34m
Did anyone initiate Widey before letting him loose in the Dogging section?
How remiss - what can we do about that? :twisted:

If yuo initiate him, I will do the customary dogging of you both lol

And then we get him to work cleaning the boots :twisted:
Talking about boots, got a little card from nice Mr Postman today saying he has a nice big parcel waiting for meat the sorting office (new thigh length ones with heels <<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>> this big) :lol:
So what have I got to do to get you both alone in a car park? :twisted:
I dunno, but I would be dothing my flat cap to you, I haven't even got one of them in a car park yet.
Regards
Harry Jones

10 Jan 2008

yes a good i dear but not in wales nothing happens up here in mid wales

11 Jan 2008

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
If yuo initiate him, I will do the customary dogging of you both

Oooooooooh what a rude suggestion!!!!
Ok :twisted: