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Finally I understand

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Today, I finally realise why the great british tradition of dogging is dying out!
This afternoon I was sitting in a well known dogging spot in Surrey, watching innocent dog walkers come and go when I left my car to go for a walk. After a while and a cigarette I was on my way back to my car when I saw a gorgeous lady and her partner get out of there car and go in towards the woods. It was obvious from what the lady was wearing and the absence of a dog that they were there for a reason.
I gave the couple a fairly long headstart and slowly followed them into the woods at a distance, allowing them to get going. This was turning out to be really great and exciting for me and from what I realised later, the couple too.
As I got closer, the couple started showing more and eventually I got really close and was invited by the male to start playing with the lady. Another male soon found us and was also invited in. The key word being 'invited'.
After a little fondleing, another male approached. Despite not being invited, due to the fact that the lady didn't want any more males he made his way to us and joined in. I guess because the lady was really into what was going on she didn't mind but this new guy really started to get rough and was told to slow down by the lady's partner. However, this guy contiually ignored his warning and eventually the couple had enough and left.
With this experience I totally understand, now, why dogging is dying out. If I had a wife/girlfriend or partner who I take dogging, and I had an experience like this one, I certainly wouldn't be back for more and wouldn't recommend it.
I have been going dogging regularly for about 3-4 years now and have had only 4 encounters, the last one before this being nearly a year ago. After this one, I have no hope.
I just wanted to say to all fellow doggers that, just have some common sense. Just because of the act, we shouldn't loose our civility and manners.
Just thought I'd share this with everyone and hopefully regain my confidence in this great past-time.
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it is a sad occasion when a male dosent appreciate what they should be very thankful for. sad
i go dogging on my own aswell as with my wife to but our dogging places are being comprimised and its all because of this type of behaviour .
for some reason the average single male appears to have this menal instinct to treat a lady like she is just a sex object.
this is probably why i mostly do disclosed location until last minute meets and it is also the reason why i now visit a lot of coupls in their homes or hotels.
dogging has really gone down hill a little to say the least in the last 6 years ive been doing it. :(
Warming the Bed
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it used to be the few that ruined it for the many..........but sad to say it is now the many that ruin it for the few.
have been dogging and have walked away from one couple who were having fun until to many men turned up,so they left. I found them later that night and apologized for the lack of manners shown earlier by the men who had not waited to be invited, They told me that this had happened before and this was the last time they would be playing on spec, and would in future only be meeting men they could trust. (I count myself lucky to now be in that group).
It means that the fun of never knowing who you will meet is a thing of the past.
Orgasminator
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I was lucky enough last year a a dogging location to be invited to play with 2 single women. We were approached by about 10 males and despite repeated requests to leave us alone, they would'nt. The 2 girls then left. Very annoying.
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It's disgusting that some people cannot accept a simple no thankyou. Not olny is it ruining the scene for everyone else but it makes it all the more difficult for us females.
I have yet to try dogging. I very much want to, but it's incidents like this that really put me off - i fear for my welfare! How far would someone actually go??
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we have even put on a show and been followed part of the way home,even had to stop and get out of the car,so now only do pre arranged meets,i am now even thinking of meeting the person first instead of us both ,and mary(hi long time no see lol ) if you are gona try it hun make sure that your taking some one for protection there are some pushy people out adding there are some cany ones to who get it all spoilt for them.
Master of Sex
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I never approach unless the couple are friends. if
a couple arrive who i don't know and other doggers were there before me,I don't approach before the other doggers even when signs have been shown by the couple,there have been times when I've been "on" a couple,someone else has approached and the couple have said just one,I then ask the other guy politely to back off and tell him the couples wishes,most do back off when asked,occasionally one or two don't get the message so we either change locations or the male of the couple then puts the request to the other dogger in such a way that he does get the message usually in fewer words than I use and in a less polite way if you get my drift.I wouldn't dream of being in a place I was not seems that the good doggers are being overshadowed more and more by idiots these days, who have read a newspaper article about dogging and just think they can harrass any couple in a car park or secluded spot assuming they are dogging ,without any ettiquette or consideration for anyone else,some get comeuppance ,some just spoil what potentially could have been good fun,Those of us that were dogging before it became popular press will prevail in the end,We just have to be patient......as always
Forum Virgin
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The guy was obviously an arse. Goes without saying. I'm really sorry this happened. It reflects badly on single male doggers, if nothing else. I am a single male dogger but my partner also plays on occassion as well. Although we have had nothing quite like this happen, we have had an annoying incident or two.
The one that bugs us most is a male approaching the car before we have given any form of signal. Late last year we were just getting warmed up when, completely uninvited a male approached the window and stood watching. Now we hadn't shown in anyway at that point, just smooched a bit, etc. So we stopped and just sat chatting and this fella buggered off back to his car.
Blow me (if you'll pardon the pun!) as soon as we started off again he was back at the window. We could just have been a courting couple for all he knew! Anyway, we moved a few parking space away but he continued to come in and out of the car park for the next hour, ruining our fun and the opportunity of the two or three respectful doggers waiting patiently. We cleared off in the end. If he'd been patient and waited til we'd invited the lads across with a couple of flicks of the interior light, I am sure she would happily have played with him.
Having said this however, I will say that all the doggers we have played with as a couple are polite, friendly and above all good fun and I have to say that at most of our dogging meets there is definitely more laughing and falling about with trousers round ankles etc. than actual shagging.
After all, when you think about it the whole dogging scenario is a slapstick comedy moment waiting to happen.
And as a single male dogger, I would much rather miss a couple than try and push my way into a session. If I'm not wanted there, I'll go. After all, it may be me they want to play with next time.......
Panda.
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Quote by pandabloke
We could just have been a courting couple for all he knew! Anyway, we moved a few parking space away but he continued to come in and out of the car park for the next hour, ruining our fun and the opportunity of the two or three respectful doggers waiting patiently. We cleared off in the end. If he'd been patient and waited til we'd invited the lads across with a couple of flicks of the interior light, I am sure she would happily have played with him.

Whilst I understand the frustration, it's clear that you weren't there as a courting couple and that he was there as a dogger - so why didn't you just tell him to wait til you signalled him (and what the signal would be)? Surely that would have been far easier than expecting him to read your mind and a lot less aggro for you two in the end? biggrin
Warming the Bed
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Some time ago my partner wanted to try dogging and outdoor sex. We did manage it a few times in some places where although it was quiet, we both knew we could be discovered at any time.
We moved on to a known dogging site and with her dressed in stockings and a basque we proceeded to fuck on the bonnet of the car, trapped in a cars headlights. As soon as someone started walking towards us, she got scared and we stopped, got in the car and left. No problem there. We were in control and the guy backed off.
But getting to the point. The part that finally stopped her doing it at all was when we decided it was safer in the car. So we put on a display in the safety of the car. She sucking me, with my fingers dipping into her pussy and arsehole. Two guys were enjoying the view and wanking away (she loved seeing hard cocks close to the glass). One guy though kept trying to get in and despite the door being locked and me saying no, you can only watch, he kept trying and trying. This finally put paid to anymore dogging. She got so freaked out by this dickhead, she wont do it anymore.
I have tried on my own but have only managed to meet one couple and that was on the off chance (thanks to that wonderful couple)
Moral - If they say NO, they mean NO
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Hmm, i thought it was just me that was unlucky enough to have had this kind of thing happen to them.
In fact the persons causing a problem in my scenario were actually friends of a member of this site (not anymore, thank god) who had been invited to join in. I was with a couple (pre-arranged) at a site in essex,but the other invited man idiotically brought a few "friends " to spoil our fun. The couple (and me) objected to their attitude & went back to their home. we had a great time, but it wasn't what we'd gone out for that night. hey - ho, you live & learn etc, but i can't understand why people like that just won't let us have our fun without hindrance !
i'm not giving up though, oh no, they can't be allowed to spoil it for us. So my message is keep your chins up & keep on keeping on !
Best wishes to all, xxx
Warming the Bed
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All of these stories sound sadly only too familiar. I'm sure that everyone that is a dogger has made a misjudge or a goof at some stage, but usually a sense of humour and respect (for ourself as well as the couple) discharges any offence and often turns to either a friendly "no thanks" or a giggle.
It seems again that the best word is "entitlement" and that seems to be what these guys feel they have. Patience and respect for the couple is 100% needed.
Shame, dogging has provided some sexual encounters that I would have never dreamed possible... hoping it recovers!
xx
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I have never been dogging and after reading some of these stories despite the guy I'm seeing wanting to go I would have to think seriously about going along...which is sad because once again its the impatient few spoiling it for the many.
Forum Virgin
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I got into dogging in the 90's, before the internet. In those days it was a very active scene with lots of couples and great shows. Only people who were true doggers and understood dogging etiquette tended to know about it. I think that the internet has substantially killed dogging off 1. By letting too many idiot males into the secret and 2. alerting the media and boys in blue to it. Many sites are now closed off.
Warming the Bed
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Quote by Serendipity
Whilst I understand the frustration, it's clear that you weren't there as a courting couple and that he was there as a dogger - so why didn't you just tell him to wait til you signalled him (and what the signal would be)? Surely that would have been far easier than expecting him to read your mind and a lot less aggro for you two in the end? biggrin

To be fair I know the poster here and the location he was using.
It's a regular place for courting couples as well as doggers, not everyone there is playing and many will just move away from the loon to carry on wit htheir own pleasure. The move away should really be a clue that they aren't interested in *you*.
Besides, isn't it just courtesy to wait for a "invite" whether dogging or not. Not everyone wants to play every time and certainly if there is more than one dogger there then they should have the option to pick who they play with.
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Quote by carparkfun
Whilst I understand the frustration, it's clear that you weren't there as a courting couple and that he was there as a dogger - so why didn't you just tell him to wait til you signalled him (and what the signal would be)? Surely that would have been far easier than expecting him to read your mind and a lot less aggro for you two in the end? biggrin

To be fair I know the poster here and the location he was using.
It's a regular place for courting couples as well as doggers, not everyone there is playing and many will just move away from the loon to carry on wit htheir own pleasure. The move away should really be a clue that they aren't interested in *you*.
Besides, isn't it just courtesy to wait for a "invite" whether dogging or not. Not everyone wants to play every time and certainly if there is more than one dogger there then they should have the option to pick who they play with.
Yup, I agree with everything you've said Carparkfun and I don't believe I inferred that they had no choice in who can watch/play - but as they were there for dogging not courting why not cut to the chase, say what's wanted/not wanted and make life easier for themselves :D
Not all couples issue an invite by flashing interior lights, so sometimes dogging really is about stumbling around the dark! lol
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Quote by Serendipity
Whilst I understand the frustration, it's clear that you weren't there as a courting couple and that he was there as a dogger - so why didn't you just tell him to wait til you signalled him (and what the signal would be)? Surely that would have been far easier than expecting him to read your mind and a lot less aggro for you two in the end? biggrin

To be fair I know the poster here and the location he was using.
It's a regular place for courting couples as well as doggers, not everyone there is playing and many will just move away from the loon to carry on wit htheir own pleasure. The move away should really be a clue that they aren't interested in *you*.
Besides, isn't it just courtesy to wait for a "invite" whether dogging or not. Not everyone wants to play every time and certainly if there is more than one dogger there then they should have the option to pick who they play with.
Yup, I agree with everything you've said Carparkfun and I don't believe I inferred that they had no choice in who can watch/play - but as they were there for dogging not courting why not cut to the chase, say what's wanted/not wanted and make life easier for themselves :D
Not all couples issue an invite by flashing interior lights, so sometimes dogging really is about stumbling around the dark! lol
It is certainly true that everyone looks at signs and signals as different things (especially when it comes to dogging).
You'd think moving parking spaces would indicate " I want to get away from you" ... unless of course it means "now you have seen us, we shall move to a better place and start the action" confused
Not all couples/people want to start without someone watching, not all want someone there to start with. Some don't even want to start any action between eachother as they want someone else to start things off.
Flash the lights, don't flash the lights, wait, don't wait, stand back, come closer.... is it any wonder someone is gonna get it wrong at some point? dunno
Me... I am of the opinion if it is not turning out the way you expected/prefer - it pays to talk wink
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In my experience I have found taking a 'co-ordinator' (and he knows who he is) tends to help the situation, rules are discussed beforehand, I pick and choose who I want to play with, if someone bothers me then they are asked to leave.
I have also discovered when it isn't so well 'organised' that the muppets that spoil it for everyone else face the wrath of the abandoned doggers. When the couple finally give up because of one idiot the rest of the genuine doggers tend to voice their opinions and disappointment. Maybe it only needs fellow doggers to put the guys straight, teach him the rules, and he might well learn from his over zealous attitude. Its like anything in life, if we aren't informed of the rules, where do any of us know where the line is?
Warming the Bed
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Do we all keep trying? I suppose some die hards will never give up. Maybe one day it will start up again in earnest. We all live in hope guys and gals.
I for one will try and keep the flag flying. I just hope all you people out there keep the faith and crry on. Sex is a wonderful thing to be enjoyed. So lets enjoy.
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reading the above is typical we have also had people trying the door tapping the window begging to be let in and they have all ended in a ruened night for us and the good doggers of which there are still a few around bristol.
we think the highest risk is those that turn up at the car as you are reverse parking and have got there dicks out and wanking before the engine is off.
those that fall into these groups never see anything!
there are also guys that come upto the window and say whats it like here, what do people do, whens the best time, its my first time.
the answers are always the same its a car park, people park there cars here when they need to.
Best advise is go home get a book on fishing!
we have had reporters and radio DJ's sniffing around a few time but there easy to spot
the last lot is the ones that think all are equal and if they come along and stand between your car and another couple or a dogger they should be warmly welcomed into the conversation etc.
insead of told to p**s off
doggers should realise that many couples talk and swop notes on doggers if you screw up one couple you may be black listed by most of the regulars
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Quote by funfor2sw
doggers should realise that many couples talk and swop notes on doggers if you screw up one couple you may be black listed by most of the regulars

Good point, but couples should also realise that the doggers talk and also swap notes wink
Is this just not a case of a bit of old fashioned good manners for the doggers and the couples? If it wasn't for the doggers then it wouldnt be worth the couples going out and same for the doggers.
A bit of give and take is all that is needed and a bit of common sense about treating each other with respect. There are some great doggers out there and I think that perhaps it is about time we thanked the ones who do get it right rather than just blasting the ones who dont, cause no doubt the 'car park plonkers' wont even read this confused
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Quote by funfor2sw
doggers should realise that many couples talk and swop notes on doggers if you screw up one couple you may be black listed by most of the regulars

As NW said: Doggers talk too. It's more complex than that, the "lubricant" in the dogging world is the trucker....if you f**k up in Blidworth your name (and car ) will be sh*t in Brighton !
These guys are the dogging gossips par excellence.
In any case, if you cannot be bothered to OPEN THE WINDOW and tell the guys WHAT YOU DO AND DON'T WANT, how are they to know ?
Believe me, when a guy has a stiff dick his normal one track mind becomes an extremely narrow tracked mind....
You need to get through the mist...just say: "fuck off you twat, come back when your brain is in gear"
Or even: "wrong week".....no, that won't work....silly me....that'll just cause blood lust...
Oh well, back to the doggers weakly...