Funniest Place you've ever ......

21 Oct 2005

Just been chatting via pm to a very nice couple and we both commented that we dont seem to have many 'chatty' post on here at the moment (dogging forums) and there doesnt seem to be much to comment on.
So, I though I would try to get the conversation started by asking where is the funniest place you have ever been dogging (either been watched or watching).
For us it has to be our own living room. When we first got married we had a little terraced house on a busy main road. We had the old fashined sash windows with net curtains which covered them half way up (Well, it was th 80's). Anyway one day we were in the living room having some very naughty fun together on the couch. Mr Naughties head was burried between my legs and I was in seventh heaven (that was before swinging heaven was created). Suddenly I heard a noise outside, looked at the window and realised a bus was stuck in traffic and was parked outside our house. The upper floor of the bus was full of people and they had a birds eye view straight into our living room! :shock: Needles to say, Mr Naughty suddenly felt two legs close very quickly round his head as I let out this almighty scream!
After that I always made sure the curtains were closed lol

So come on, tell us about the funniest places you have ever had your naughty fun.

21 Oct 2005

i've got it lol

whew, your post put me in a mild panic naughty, going through the trouble of posting something the gang can at least join in with, and for a terrible moment there, i thought i had nothing to contribute..jeez, i went through all my past, on the beach with mrs dirty, on a ferry to zebrugge with jill, on a heather strewn heath with dirty debs, nothing stood out, until i remembered this wink

remember that nightclub "meat" "franko" "shafter" and myself discovered back in the early 80's? you know, the one in "sex maniacs diary"..well, it happened there..of course, i was single then, but wishing i was married so i didn't have to wank so much..now i am married, i can't wait for mrs dirty to go out so i can have a good ole spank of the married lads will know what i mean :wink:
anyway, "meat" had gone to get a pizza, he was a big lad and a bit hyperactive, and "franko" was wooing a group of ladies with his smooth latino patter.."shafter" and myself were left sitting at the table, completely mesmerised by a petit young lass with very tight leather trousers, and looking quite like kylie minogue :twisted: it was i that first sucumbed to the "joy juice"..i stood up, held onto a chair momentarilly for balance, before lurching toward her. the music was so loud, was it sique sique sputnic? i vaguely remember..as i approached, she turned towards me, she didn't stop gyrating, she was so confident, her movements were so purposfull and yet so gracefull, i knew i was out of my depth with this one..she moved towards me, i was frozen to the spot, she raised her arms above her head and bobbed down to the rythm of the music..i tried shouting "whats your name"? but the words just got lost in the din..she looked at me, smiled, and still dancing, did a slow, gyrating turn..when she faced me once again, she moved closer, and raised her arms to my neck..when i bent down to speak, she recoiled, "ahhh garlic" she exclaimed, "shit" i'd eaten pizza earlier, i thought i'd fallen at the first hurdle..she clasped my face, pulled it towards hers and purred "i love garlic" which wasn't really the reaction i'd expected..
later on, again sitting with "shafter" oh no, i just remembered a better one, fuck, now what do i do? bugger, i haven't got time to scrub this from the board..shit shit shit, i'm a twat, i'm a twat..
anyway, sitting with shafter, thinking this girl had gone off with someone else, and feeling a bit pissed off, despite sonia and gang showing us their tits :lol: when, all of a sudden, she appears out of the dry ice, making straight for me..she virtually falls into my lap, spilling my drink all over my crotch.."i'd better lick it off" she giggles, and proceeds to flick her tongue over my jeans..feeling like quite the jack the lad, and getting envious looks from the lads, i jokingly suggest she dries my sausage..she evidently found this amusing, as her head thumped into my nether regions, but i soon fucking sobered up when i felt my zipper come down and my massive appendage being reeled out :!: well ok, so it ain't huge..alright, fucking hell man, its average, ok? well, of course, its soft at this point, but she only clamps her gob round the fucker :shock: talk about indecision :lol: and what the hell, there were only 300 people there :twisted: what i didn't know was all the doorstaff were watching on their monitors, and laughing their bollocks off :lol: thing is, i was shitting myself, i kept thinking, "well if this is what she does for giggles, what the fuck is she going to expect later"? then came the clincher, she said "think yourself lucky, i normally charge 15 quid for those sort of favours, but you are funny, so you can have that one on me"..i didn't know how to feel, then she just walked off, leaving me reclined, with a dirty great boner and a stupid look on my face..it wasn't until one girl screamed, that reality sunk in redface

ops: i could'nt get the twat back into my flies though, i even whacked the end of it on the table in a vain attempt to "stun" the fucker...bloody hell naughty, i'm going red just thinking about it, imagine, 300 people, just laughing at you rolleyes

wish i'd told the other story now :oops:

21 Oct 2005

Good idea NWC for a thread and as always Dirty cracked me up.
I'm struggling as I'm paranoid about getting into trouble in public ie getting chucked out by the venue owner or getting nicked by cops for exposing my bits in public, so have twice fought off women trying to get my large appendage (Sorry mate lol

) out in public, once in an 80's bar in Newcastle (but only about three years ago), and the other in the bar area at Pontin's last year, so a compromise was reached at Pontin's with viewing (but no action) taking place in a cubicle in the mens loo's. And that is the only two occasions in my life when women have shown any interest in me in public, I normally spend all night dancing on my own.
Boringly all my watching has been at a dogging site or inside a swingers club or as part of a threesome either at someones house or in a hotel room.
Apologies for such a dull existence.
Regards
Harry Jones

21 Oct 2005

Hi all. Extremely new to forums, this forum and dogging!
Might be called a pervert after this, but this is my first, funniest and last 'dogging' experience. (I think it counts??)
Just come back from Mexico. Spent a lot of nights in the local bars ;-)
Went to one particular bar, got rather drunk. Went upstairs for a lap dance and ended up fucking.
Now the â€˜new bitâ€™ for me. Upstairs was a general area with chairs and dim lights. I ended up fucking this lady from behind, jeans round my ankles, no shirt on with other people watching me or also fucking. Found it to be the biggest turn on ever, hence my visit to this forum.
Thinking back it was a great turn on, but also a very funny experience!
So am I normal? A pervert? Sad for doing it? I donâ€™t know, but I enjoyed smile

22 Oct 2005

haa, i was waiting for the "i put my hand around her slender thighs, and got an 8 inch surprise" rolleyes

naaa, sounds like normal behaviour to me chap, but i'm no yardstick..and bloody well done for joining in with the fun mate, if that was a first post, then that was a fine introduction..a bit of fun is the best way to get yourself "in the know" here wink

22 Oct 2005

being asked to step out from the back of the car by a very stern faced wpc me slightly embarassed her rolling round like shes haaving a fit now we know to park so we can see whos coming in hopefully

22 Oct 2005

never met you but this dirtydogger nearly give me a seizure reading his post !
very funny indeed, i was thinking of adding my tuppence until i read that !!

22 Oct 2005

Quote by naughty_bad_boy
So am I normal? A pervert? Sad for doing it? I donâ€™t know, but I enjoyed

Naughty Bad Boy, dont worry my dear you are just a perfectly normal pervert like the rest of us lol

Great post by the way!
Mr D you dont half cause me problems, my sides are hurting so much from reading that!
Harry kiss