New years eve fancy dress dogg (Norfolk)

26 Dec 2007

Lottsa parties going on, lottsa perving to be had..We'll be out, and Mrs D's cossie of choice will be St Trinians, or...Catwoman, or maybe something else, Sexy Gistapo if i can swing it lol

Me? Urr, dunno bout that..Simple fuckin Simon probably..pies! :twisted: luv em.. :twisted:
Ok, we'll be doing the party thing too, but there is the en-route window of perverticy (don't worry about the spelling, or wether such words exist..i'm on the Sicilian red and outta the running) redface

:lol:
We'll be asking for directions quite a lot :twisted: And we'll be looking to stop by some venues for some photo fun..If any of you Norfolk fellas are planning on being around the carparks (i mean anyway, not "cool, where and when dirty?") then PM us as to where you'll be and maybe, just maybe...and i mean MAYBE :lol: we'll look you up and give you some visual entertainment wink

If you are into being "caned" or "whipped"..even better :twisted: ...We'll be doing pics, but you need not be in them if you don't wish to be..bare yer butt for some serious lashing, and she'll be putty in your hands :lol:
To sum up..you'll not get laid, nor gobbled...you might suffer humiliation and/or pysical harm at the hands of Mrs Dirty..(I do, nightly, so what makes you so special? :cry: )quite why that would appeal, I really don't know rolleyes

...if it does, and you are planning on being out...tell us where..we'll not follow up on any PMs..it'll be wait n see :wink: 7-9pm...after that it'll be too late :wink: We'll not be making any return trips :wink: :silly: drinkies

27 Dec 2007

You filthy baggage - someone give them directions to Herts if you see them, just tell Aunty it's the fastest route to the Black Forest lol

27 Dec 2007

Guys

Just to nip an early trend in the bud :lol: One which i kinda expected so maybe ought to have put more emphasis towards..
We are ONLY looking to do this fancy dress thing on New Year's eve wink

, not New Year's day..IF the party goes to plan, we'll be spending most of that day on rubber sheets in casualty :wink: Hopefully with me knob in traction :wink:
More importantly..We are requesting information from fellas that are actually planning to be out themselves..IF on the night you cannot make it,then thats fair enough, we WON'T hold it against you..The thing that matters most to us is that this ISN'T a pre arranged deal in the formal sense..WE might not turn up either :lol: Thats why its better that YOU tell US where you're gonna be (probably) :wink: Then you won't have wasted time on us :wink: Oh, and please, this is Norfolk :lol: We don't want to be travelling through several neighbouring counties :lol: West of Norwich would be better for us, as its kinda convenient, but we aren't overly fussed :lol:
At this early stage we've already had mail inviting ongoing correspondence re arranging a time and place...OK we understand there are many fellas here who have never done the carparks and are a little nervy..bless ya for that, but that isn't OUR problem :cry: If you want a damned good thrashing (best public schoolboy accent) :lol: then you'll just have to say where we can find ya :lol: And if we don't turn up, just accept that as part of the gamble :lol:
Dippy ya ole tart :twisted: Let me run this by ya, as an insight to Mrs Dirty's "practical" thinking..We've done the enforced misery of enduring not one, but two crimbo dinners :cry: Reclined on the couch yesterday and looking rather the worse for wear, Mrs Dirty asks "you look unwell, what is wrong?" :cry: "Wrong!? i think i've clogged me arteries up on all that Yorkshire pudding and roasted potato, thats whats wrong" :lol: ...She emerges from the kitchen clutching a bottle of Tesco Sicilian red confused

"HERE" she demands, thrusting the bottle toward me :shock: "Drink ze contents, it will clear ze arteries" :shock:...Oh my gawd, it conjured the imagery of the pilot in "flight of the Phoenix" using the penultimate cartridge to "clear the cylinders out" after several failed attempts to start the engine :lol: I couldn't stop laughing :lol:
xxx

27 Dec 2007

Hmmm, It looked promising to start with, but we've actually had LESS mail as a result of the ad than we'd normally get as a daily average WITHOUT running one :shock: lol

Two! :lol: One from a fella telling us he'd be up for it new year, and other than the fact he lives some 86 miles away, not much else :lol:
Followed shortly later by a wink from a rascal some 127 miles distant, inviting us to check a profile that doesn't actually exist :lol:
Ok,the scenario isn't for everyone :lol: We can, and do accept that...We'll rethink our gameplan so as to "up the odds" for some fancy dress carpark fun :lol: The cat can stay in the bag for now wink

28 Dec 2007

Blimey! :shock: How things have changed..We did a similar thing a year or more back, and despite some of the contributions being from ourselves, the post turned into a twenty six reply thread over two pages lol

(I just checked)..Ok, its unfair to compare like for like, because there are some obvious differences..like New Year's Eve not being the most convenient night for one :lol:
We had so many replies, we had to put a halt on the PMs from voyeur guys and couples, and then taking everyone on a "first come first served" basis, we'd have to "party" in groups of six over several outings :lol: (It didn't get that far, due to "first come first serve" principle, we didn't bother scrutinizing profiles for suitability, just taking on trust that if they wanted to watch, then that was good enough for us..anyway, to cut the story short, we invited the first six, and if Andrew75 hadn't turned up, we'd have been sat in an empty carpark) :lol:
Today, we have recieved two more PM replies, making four in total (see above for the first two)..The first this morning was from our ole chatroom buddy PVCboots saying he couldn't make it :lol: (private joke, he lives in New Zealand)..The only other reply was a "wink" from a couple..We haven't replied to it as we wanted guys to simply tell us where they are gonna be confused

locally..(the couple were in Cambs, not a huge distance, but still not quite what we wanted..and we certainly don't want to get involved in swapping PM messages)..
Ok, we know the scene is more "arranged shag" and less "voyeur" orientated than ever before, we know we are a year older and MUCH uglier than last year, we know its New Year's Eve that we're grasping at..but uh :?
This sounds like a gripe..Seriously, its not intended to be wink

..The scene is what it is, and if we as exhibitionists are now increasingly out of the running, well, to be honest, it's something we've been having to get rather used to of late :lol: It's ok, we KNOW there are voyeurs out there, and we KNOW there always will be :wink: theres really no need to assure us on that score..For the most part, it seems that most fellas here aren't gonna put themselves anywhere near a carpark for less than a sure bet these days, which we weren't offering..Shame though, it would have been REALLY nice to see some NEW faces for a change :cry:
Anyway..We'll cancel the gig. We'll just do it the proper way instead :lol: We ain't wasting the fancy dress oppertunity :twisted:

29 Dec 2007

Seriously, if we could have got down, we would have loved to have watch the 'DD's@ on tour, especially in fancy dress.
Might even try something similar ourselves for new years eve wink

29 Dec 2007

Ahh, Naughty, It would have been our pleasure xxx lol

..Bit weird this, the only interest so far is from two ladies confused

:twisted: But do i look bovvered? :P
I need to get my head around this..Mrs Dirty and I are planning on popping out later to an unspecified location or two..Now SHE says not many of the new kids on the block are interested in going out to carparks in order to watch her playing with her toys and doing striptease stuff for them, but they would go if they thought they were up for a deffo shag with her :lol: Ok, so she ain't the fastest panzer in the division and thats a pretty obvious statement to make :lol: BUT, she now says that to spite the blokes (its ok, she's in the bathroom) she is going to shag one of them tonight in the carpark :? I mean, what am i missing here? :? I suspect its a threat of sorts, because she can f'ing go some! Maybe she's gonna shag some unsuspecting bugger to death? :? Don't want that in the paper tomorrow morning redface

"dogger dies in Dirty rage shag drama" :shock: Fuck me :?
Okay, fancy dress...We SHOULD have picked something up today, but, we didn't surprised

ops: It'll now be tomorrow..St Trinians is no longer an option, and Catwoman has been deemed to restrictive for the party :? By chance, a fello forum perve mailed us some outstanding BDSM scenario pictures depicting an interogation scene..The interogator in this instance being a woman wearing :oops: ermm..ok, fuck it, German uniform :shock: Mrs Dirty's words on seeing the series of photographs were "Ooh, i like them, where can you get me one of those hats from" rolleyes

:lol: So it looks as if maybe i'll be going as a downed Spitfire pilot :? Tally fucking ho :cry: I had set my heart on being Batman :oops:
What we will now do on New Year's eve is drive around the villages asking innocent members of the upper middle aged male public for directions to the Party :twisted: Then we'll sit in a pub or two along the way whilst Mrs Dirty shows off as much thigh as possible before falling off her stool in a Vodka induced coma :lol: Followed by a swift carpark piccy session with the brave and the bold. :lol:
The Dogging tour? Well yes, in the name of research, we are planning on hitting some of the UKs dogging hotspots in 2008..."who said meeeeeow?" Oh, it was the fucking cat :lol: (We have already been gleaning information from the regional chatrooms).. :lol:

29 Dec 2007

Been back about forty minutes..Went to the North Norfolk coastal sites..Mrs Dirty's vagina remains unpummelled lol

Apparently she was joking confused

Joking? She's half German for crying out loud...What do they know about humour? :shock: :lol:
We didn't get much joy there neither :lol: Two fellas driving about but not daring to get out :? Too cold for our usual photo ploy, so we just got on with it and came home :lol:

31 Dec 2007

Quote by dirtydoggers
Okay, fancy dress...We SHOULD have picked something up today, but, we didn't It'll now be tomorrow..St Trinians is no longer an option, and Catwoman has been deemed to restrictive for the party By chance, a fello forum perve mailed us some outstanding BDSM scenario pictures depicting an interogation scene..The interogator in this instance being a woman wearing ops: ermm..ok, fuck it, German uniform :shock: Mrs Dirty's words on seeing the series of photographs were "Ooh, i like them, where can you get me one of those hats from" So it looks as if maybe i'll be going as a downed Spitfire pilot :? Tally fucking ho :cry: I had set my heart on being Batman :oops:

Is it wrong that I'm imagining you naked and bound to a propeller, except for a Biggles hat, scarf and goggles? Pfft, what do I care, wrong is good :twisted:
Edit: I don't know why but I felt the need to Google Biggles...and found a list of . I have some suggestions on how you can "Dirty" them up...
1. The Camel(toes) Are Coming
2. Biggles Flies (Undone) Again
3. The Black Peril (a tribute to a certain dildo)
4. Biggles Goes to War (see your perv mail description above)
5. Biggles Delivers The Goods (a story of every day car park lurrrrrrrve)
6. Biggles Breaks The Silence (with a girlish scream)
7. Biggles In The Blue (Movie)
8. No Rest For Biggles (Aunty D has become insatiable)
9. Biggles Makes Ends Meet(featuring a double ender)
10. Biggles and the Dark Intruder (sequel to the Black Peril :twisted: )
Oh, it's a good thing *I* find me funny - apologies to everyone else :lol:

31 Dec 2007

Dippity,
Have you been at that cooking sherry again confused

:

31 Dec 2007

Quote by Serendipity
Is it wrong that I'm imagining you naked and bound to a propeller, except for a Biggles hat, scarf and goggles? Pfft, what do I care, wrong is good :twisted:
Oh, it's a good thing *I* find me funny - apologies to everyone else

Serendipity :shock: :lol: ..I think we have a connection! :lol:
Years ago, well, say ten years ago we used to drive to France and Belgium quite regularly..Well, until i lost my car that is..I didn't "lose" it excactly, i knew where it was, fucking Customs and Excise compound redface

I mean, how did they know i hadn't planned to start smoking that week? confused

Anyway..We'd vary our method of crossing the channel, and even though we'd more often than not use the tunnel, we often went by ferry, the seacat or, my own personal favourite, the hovercraft cool

That was a magnificent beast, and anyone that missed the oppertunity to fly across the sea in it, i tell you, it was an experience!
My abstract humour has to be tempered for the forums sometimes, but seeing as you've started this madness, i'll recount for you a conversation i hasd with mrs Dirty on the aforementioned "Princess Anne".. surprised

ops: The stewardess walks down the line of seats weilding a hot towel between a pair of tongs, "sir?" she says, whilst offering me the limp piece of steaming cloth.."thank you" i smile "but how am i going to eat that fucker with chopsticks?"..She offered a well practiced smile, but the subtle grimace said "you fat c**t" :cry: I then turn to mrs Dirty and remark, "those propellers come off a Hercules you know?, just imagine this fucker right, you are hammering across the sea, tied to one of those twats, NAKED, except for a pair of tank commander's goggles, can you just imagine what that c**t would FEEL like..THEN imagine yeah, you are really fucking pissed off, doing sixty miles an hour, going towards France and a seagull hits you in the face :shock: "..Mrs Dirty looks at me with that pity filled look, she had so much going for her, how could it have gone so wrong? "right, can you imagine the sound of the wind rasping across your piss flaps though? FUCKING HELL man :shock: first it would be a mild buzz, then it would sound like the wind blowing across an empty bottle right, but when we were at full tilt, fuck me, it would drone like a fog horn..AND can you imagine what your hair would look like when they untied you? :shock:"
You see Dippy my ole luv, it does concearn me a little that we both have an obvious ability to even THINK like that :lol:
And there is more..The list :?
Camel..well, you know five weeks ago i was being thrown into the sand by such a beast :oops:
2. Biggles Flies..Last night we went out with a rubber sausage..We was going to do a dildo show in the half light of the forest..It looked real enough to pass off as the real thing without all the problems of details such as getting a reet fucking bone on with eight guys looking in through MY window..We'd ever only done such a thing ONCE before :lol: So worried was i that the beast would become detatched, i buttoned my flies so tightly around it, i couldn't later undo them :oops: I drove home last night with it flopped against the steering wheel :lol: :lol:
I'll adress some of the others later...i'm late again :? xxx

31 Dec 2007

What about Biggles aand 69 Squadron
and
Biggles does Gimlet
Happy New Year

31 Dec 2007

Quote by Snertsmate
Dippity,
Have you been at that cooking sherry again :

Not a drop!
That makes it worse, doesn't it? redface

31 Dec 2007

Quote by Serendipity
Dippity,
Have you been at that cooking sherry again :

Not a drop!
That makes it worse, doesn't it? redface

Please tell me you havent been on the red bull?

31 Dec 2007

God no, you know I'm not allowed that based on the weird stuff I post without carbonated stimulants lol

I do wonder what Dirty would post if he was given enough coke to hit a sugar rush though - possibly a feature length version of Biggles Does Derby, Dorset and Devon. Hmmmm biggrin

31 Dec 2007

I have no idea
When the time comes I finally get to see them out and about, I shall take him a bottle of Sunny Delight, and stand back, and watch Mrs Dirty get hammered like The Ark by Noah on a tight deadline

31 Dec 2007

I think i'm on the verge of working out why i haven't had any PMs redface

Meeting us out in the wilds could be a scary prospect :lol: ..Anyway, bugger the dogging, this is more fun :twisted:
Black Peril..Well, we need to use a little artistic license here :cry: She has a bloody big rubber knob called "Black Thunder"..It takes two hands to weild it and its rather cumbersome when lubed up, but, it makes her happy rolleyes

4. Biggles goes to war...Yep, one of our sites is on the edge of an Army training range..Dogging to the sound of machine gun fire, low flying helicopters and illuminated by parachute flares all being par for the course :lol:
5. Biggles delivers..We bailed out prematurely last night, so no "loads" were delivered as such..T'was a quiet night, not a bad vibe..But some kids in a white saloon were flashing their hazards and making the fellas nervous so we quit early and Mrs Dirty went un-sausaged :cry:
Times getting on surprised

ops: I'll have to skip some :lol:
8. No Rest For Biggles..Aunty HAS become insatiable :roll: It IS a bit of a concearn because i'm not THAT struck on shagging (its too much poxy work)..She was well up for it last night too..She reminded me that i'd said we'd check out the Midlands fetish club scene..I said "yeah, thats fine, we can do that in the new year"..Then she asks me whats going to happen to her there? "What do you mean, happen?"...We had to keep going through this charade until i recalled one of her fantasy scenarios and assured her i'd get her shagged to within an inch of her life with a donkey donged "dude" :roll: Then, because I'd said it, she purred "ooh, will you?" gets herself all horny and starts grasping at me owd chap confused

:lol: ...Essex talks about "Hammering" and isn't far wrong..And all the slow smoochy lovemaking went outa the window ages ago..Its now two hours of Dirty talkin foreplay followed by a hammering of such fierocity even Ian Sutcliff would be impressed :cry: I just ain't up to those sorts of stunts anymore :cry:
Gawd, i really gotta go, and i've got "mail" :shock: apparently :P I can see the message flashing in red. Yep, She has a great "jelly" double ender..So my resolution for 2008 is to find her some lady luvvin, get her PVC'd up, sort her out with some extreme boning by a virile brother whilst i retire to a life of pies wink

31 Dec 2007

I think i'm on the verge of working out why i haven't had any PMs redface

Meeting us out in the wilds could be a scary prospect :lol: ..Anyway, bugger the dogging, this is more fun :twisted:
Black Peril..Well, we need to use a little artistic license here :cry: She has a bloody big rubber knob called "Black Thunder"..It takes two hands to weild it and its rather cumbersome when lubed up, but, it makes her happy rolleyes

4. Biggles goes to war...Yep, one of our sites is on the edge of an Army training range..Dogging to the sound of machine gun fire, low flying helicopters and illuminated by parachute flares all being par for the course :lol:
5. Biggles delivers..We bailed out prematurely last night, so no "loads" were delivered as such..T'was a quiet night, not a bad vibe..But some kids in a white saloon were flashing their hazards and making the fellas nervous so we quit early and Mrs Dirty went un-sausaged :cry:
Times getting on surprised

ops: I'll have to skip some :lol:
8. No Rest For Biggles..Aunty HAS become insatiable :roll: It IS a bit of a concearn because i'm not THAT struck on shagging (its too much poxy work)..She was well up for it last night too..She reminded me that i'd said we'd check out the Midlands fetish club scene..I said "yeah, thats fine, we can do that in the new year"..Then she asks me whats going to happen to her there? "What do you mean, happen?"...We had to keep going through this charade until i recalled one of her fantasy scenarios and assured her i'd get her shagged to within an inch of her life with a donkey donged "dude" :roll: Then, because I'd said it, she purred "ooh, will you?" gets herself all horny and starts grasping at me owd chap confused

:lol: ...Essex talks about "Hammering" and isn't far wrong..And all the slow smoochy lovemaking went outa the window ages ago..Its now two hours of Dirty talkin foreplay followed by a hammering of such fierocity even Ian Sutcliff would be impressed :cry: I just ain't up to those sorts of stunts anymore :cry:
Gawd, i really gotta go, and i've got "mail" :shock: apparently :P I can see the message flashing in red. Yep, She has a great "jelly" double ender..So my resolution for 2008 is to find her some lady luvvin, get her PVC'd up, sort her out with some extreme boning by a virile brother whilst i retire to a life of pies wink

31 Dec 2007

Quote by dirtydoggers
4. Biggles goes to war...Yep, one of our sites is on the edge of an Army training range..Dogging to the sound of machine gun fire, low flying helicopters and illuminated by parachute flares all being par for the course

I can just picture doggers driving into the site with Wagners 'Flight of the Valkyrie' blasting out, just like the scene in 'Apocalypse Now'

31 Dec 2007

Quote by essex34m

4. Biggles goes to war...Yep, one of our sites is on the edge of an Army training range..Dogging to the sound of machine gun fire, low flying helicopters and illuminated by parachute flares all being par for the course

I can just picture doggers driving into the site with Wagners 'Flight of the Valkyrie' blasting out, just like the scene in 'Apocalypse Now'
Bloody hell essex i heard the the music and could see the pictures when i read your post. :lol:

1 Jan 2008

I just love the smell of Fanny Balm in the morning :twisted: And she'll need some of that after what i gave her last night cool

...(Not really, i'm not sure she even noticed) confused

We do get used to the ambience of the practice range lol

You DO start ignoring the distant Rat Tat Tat of machine gun fire :shock: You DO get used to the dark forms of helicopters flying low overhead without lights and you DO get kinda used to weird floating lights from the parachute flares..You EVEN get used to the shouts of "NEXT" from a gangbanger's husband, and the wails of an orgasmic dogger relieving the burdons of his frustration into something warm and inviting just merges imperceptibly with the gruff "barks" of the forest deer :lol:
What you NEVER seem to get used to is the wailing from "the beasts of hell" when they start singing to the Devil :cry: That sound (which eminates from the Wolf like dogs housed not too distant from the carpark) sends many a newbie dogger packing, and even gives the lone veterans a prickling sensation on the back of the neck :lol: ..It's a truely macabre sound which comes out of nowhere, rises in unison then waines into the ether as if the Prince of Darkness himself has shot his wedge across the venue as if to show his pleasure at the carnal antics displayed within :twisted:

1 Jan 2008

Quote by dirtydoggers
I just love the smell of Fanny Balm in the morning

I have tears rolling down my cheeks....

1 Jan 2008

Stileto & I have roared with laughter over the last few days whilst reading this thread :giggle: .
We've even been tempted to read the "dirtydoggers" other posts but theres 71 pages :eeek: of it & i'm (sword) to lazy so only scratched the surface of it redface

.
Now as a pair of doggers we get out & about all over but there is a but & a very strange BUT!!!!!
We dont want to bump into Mr Dirty & his Teutonic Temptress!!! :eeek: .
We just dont want to spoil the illusion you get :wary: when reading peoples posts wink

Long may your typing fingers press the right keys dirtydoggers worship

:worship: :worship:

1 Jan 2008

At this very moment, I can see a member called Biggles browsing this section - if you're reading this, please say hello on the thread, it's a Hallmark moment! lol

1 Jan 2008

mr dirty
im the prince of darkness!!!! evil

2 Jan 2008

Quote by Serendipity
At this very moment, I can see a member called Biggles browsing this section - if you're reading this, please say hello on the thread, it's a Hallmark moment!

What if I say hello instead :twisted:
Great thread, keep going uncle and dipity and essex - I'll see if I have that music in my 8-track collection.
Regards
Harry Jones

2 Jan 2008

Happy days are here again....dum-de-dum-de-dah..... :happy:
New years day an empty layby (the truckers were not there) the resident (me) was there...and so were a nice young couple.
He was sitting inside, while she was standing outside.
He was on a diy job, I was standing and enjoying having it done for me.
There is still life at night.....Norfolk can wait....gimme the shires everyday
Oh, nice stories Mr D....but I've forgotten the start now....I'll await your arrival in the home county with interest. Standing room only ?

2 Jan 2008

Quote by sword-stileto
Now as a pair of doggers we get out & about all over but there is a but & a very strange BUT!!!!!
We dont want to bump into Mr Dirty & his Teutonic Temptress!!! :eeek: .
We just dont want to spoil the illusion you get :wary: when reading peoples posts

Ahh, thanks for the nice words :P .You need not fear re the burst bubble though because we seldom tell folk who we are redface

(Well, you just wouldn't admit to it really, would you?) surprised

ops:
Anyway, given our length of service on SwingingHeaven and other internet forums, all with the "DirtyDoggers" trademark, you could be forgiven for assuming that we would be somewhat "polished" in our carpark performances :oops: And that being the case, then yes, undoubtedly you would be underwhelmed by what you saw lol

..Shagging in cars is never really that easy is it confused

If Mrs Dirty does her "toy" show, she gets herself all horny and forgets it's an exhibition wank :? She starts demanding satisfaction and refuses to leave the venue until her lust has been sated rolleyes

Which is good news for the voyeurs, but she does get kinda oblivious to the little things, like police etc :? :lol: She leaves me "anxious", I've developed a strange facial twitch..When that is accompanied by a nervous spasmodic "sniff" i'll be bearing all the symptoms of "post carpark stress syndrome" :lol: It won't be long now, I'm looking more like Hurricane Higgings by the day sad

As for the ability to "talk", well yes :oops: I've no doubt we'd live up to all your expectations there :lol: In truth, it's why Mrs Dirty always insists we don't get into conversation with doggers :cry: Even the Police have to find an excuse to leave :? :oops:

2 Jan 2008

Dirtydoggers I have laughed at this thread since it was posted, miss has a different sense of humour to me, she laughs at strange films that i don't understand.
Post more of this stuff, you should consider writing a sitcom based on dogging shenanigans, i would watch it,probably.

2 Jan 2008

Quote by HarryJones
What if I say hello instead :twisted:

Depends, do you have a Biggles hat, scarf and googles too? We may have enough for our own squadron of doggers!
*dogging motorbike display team flashback* :shock: lol