Over the many years of wandering about places, most spent in
carparks waiting for the arrival of the nights entertainment, few things cause me to "lose it".
There are a few exceptions, however. One of which I shall call the main "pitfall" of dogging (although
the "P" should be replaced with a "SH"), and that is what is left behind, after the behind has left it,
after the "vanillas" have buggered off back home. It is known colloquially as "dog mess". I was reminded of this, again, last night after the usual "walk-around-the-car" was accompanied by the ominous "squelch-smell" again. I am quite sure that having pooch crap at the edge of the carpark is deliberate. Either way, it ends the night. Who wants a dogger near them who smells of the brown stuff (and I don't mean beer or daddys sauce). The other down side is that you have to drive home in your socks. Itself a feat (feet) of endurance.
Wellies, I hear you say. I say a lot more myself, but wellies isn't one of them. NO, I'm going to have to buy a pair of "dogging" shoes. No tread, since cleaning dog stuff out of deeply treaded boots is not one of lifes pleasures. Failing all that, I could also try standing on the side of the car that is not at the edge of the carpark.
I am siding with the other guy, who reckons that a sign at the entrance of the carpark would be a good move: DOGS WILL BE SHOT.
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The p(sh)itfalls of dogging
If this is a problem, it's easily sorted...
Put plastic bags over your shoes, secured by an elastic band round each ankle :shock:
Inelegant maybe, but at the first hint of a 'squelch', pull the bag off inside-out (dispose of in dog-shit bin) and replace with a spare bag that you have handy.
Sorted!
Put plastic bags over your shoes, secured by an elastic band round each ankle :shock:
Inelegant maybe, but at the first hint of a 'squelch', pull the bag off inside-out (dispose of in dog-shit bin) and replace with a spare bag that you have handy.
Sorted!
Sex God
Ive fortunately never encountered this problem - very amusing read though 
Regards
Harry Jones
Regards
Harry Jones
Sex God
I am doing my best not to laugh as I know it isnt funny, but you can be so funny when your angry :kiss: Plastic bags sound the best bet (as suggested by BeJa) but not sure what you do with the plastic bag when you have 'finished' with it, as half the car parks dont have 'doggy' bins.
Quote by JTS
I'm going to have to buy a pair of "dogging" shoes.
White Trainers, Im sure that every dogger in the North West is issued with a pair as they enter the car park (not sure how the dog mess affects them though)
I thought of plastic bags. But who can take a dogger seriously when the guy/gal is walking around with his feet encased in bags ?
And what sort ?
Tesco value ?
Sainsburys orange ?
Asda slap-your-bum bags ?
Bedfordshire county council ?
Maybe NEXT ?
Or Toys'r us ?
In any case, this is a serious thread !
This menace to the dogging community has to END !
Now, I remember (VERY well indeed)(VERY) an event that happened in MK....I was waiting in ******** park mod edit...no names...I want to be first there carpark (the bottom one)...there was one other guy there, who shall remain nameless ('cause I don't know it). In drove a rather nice laguna with two occupants....a guy and gorgeous. Now, this gorgeous was dressed to impress. White pvc dress, that started at nipple level and ended halfway down her bum. The white pvc continued at thigh level down to the ground (thigh boots). The underwear was brief as well. None. They both walked up to the grass and started playing.....which I'd been doing since I started drooling. By then the other guy had descended into grunt mode and his eyes were about a foot out of his head. Anyway, gorgeous was getting slowly underdressed by making the pvc dress into a belt....then she lay down onto the grass. Right onto a lump of dog shit. Not just dogshit, but one dropped by the original baskerville hound. It being night it was almost invisible...but not unsmelly. After physically-gorgeous-but-verbally-gifted had finsihed screaming her guy had to walk her back to their car to remove said canine gift (me and the guy had gone by then....women screaming in MK usually leads to an influx of law, and the park was only a few hundred yards from the centre)
I never feasted my eyes on her again. I'm still gutted about that. And I still hate dogshit.
And what sort ?
Tesco value ?
Sainsburys orange ?
Asda slap-your-bum bags ?
Bedfordshire county council ?
Maybe NEXT ?
Or Toys'r us ?
In any case, this is a serious thread !
This menace to the dogging community has to END !
Now, I remember (VERY well indeed)(VERY) an event that happened in MK....I was waiting in ******** park mod edit...no names...I want to be first there carpark (the bottom one)...there was one other guy there, who shall remain nameless ('cause I don't know it). In drove a rather nice laguna with two occupants....a guy and gorgeous. Now, this gorgeous was dressed to impress. White pvc dress, that started at nipple level and ended halfway down her bum. The white pvc continued at thigh level down to the ground (thigh boots). The underwear was brief as well. None. They both walked up to the grass and started playing.....which I'd been doing since I started drooling. By then the other guy had descended into grunt mode and his eyes were about a foot out of his head. Anyway, gorgeous was getting slowly underdressed by making the pvc dress into a belt....then she lay down onto the grass. Right onto a lump of dog shit. Not just dogshit, but one dropped by the original baskerville hound. It being night it was almost invisible...but not unsmelly. After physically-gorgeous-but-verbally-gifted had finsihed screaming her guy had to walk her back to their car to remove said canine gift (me and the guy had gone by then....women screaming in MK usually leads to an influx of law, and the park was only a few hundred yards from the centre)
I never feasted my eyes on her again. I'm still gutted about that. And I still hate dogshit.
