BBC Fab Swingers Article.

How can we all protect ourselves? I'd only ever want sex with a woman who wanted sex with me and I'd be appalled if a woman had been coerced by a man to do something she didn't want to

Discuss..

Link to article blocked by admin. It's an important subject, I think this link should be unlocked. See the BBC website for the story

Just read the story. Completely agree that this is an important subject that should be discussed.

I've seen posts and accounts here on SH that have made me really uncomfortable. Extreme domination and humiliation are massive red flags for me: posts from men inviting others to abuse their partners; pictures, videos and even webcams where the female looks too intoxicated to consent.

I do not know what sort of training or guidelines moderators work to. I would hope that they're regularly reporting accounts to the authorities rather than just removing content or banning accounts.

As the article says, consent can be complicated. Would most men even know the difference between pursuasion and coercion?

Quote by p_and_a

Just read the story. Completely agree that this is an important subject that should be discussed.

I've seen posts and accounts here on SH that have made me really uncomfortable. Extreme domination and humiliation are massive red flags for me: posts from men inviting others to abuse their partners; pictures, videos and even webcams where the female looks too intoxicated to consent.

I do not know what sort of training or guidelines moderators work to. I would hope that they're regularly reporting accounts to the authorities rather than just removing content or banning accounts.

Unfortunately, it's not possible to make the BBC article link directly viewable on the site, as external links are disabled for understandable reasons. However, anyone interested in reading it should be able to find it by searching for:

"Woman left traumatised by swinging says website 'facilitated abuse'"

Speaking as just one moderator, I can only comment on the actions available to me personally.

I have never reported a post directly to the authorities, as that isn't something I have the authority or access to do. However, if content visible on the site whether in posts, profiles, profile descriptions, photos, videos, webcams or chatrooms raises concerns of the kind discussed in the article, and it is brought to our attention or spotted by the moderation team, we will take whatever action is available to us. Depending on the circumstances, that can include removing content, retaining records where appropriate, restricting accounts, suspending users, or issuing bans.

In more serious cases, matters are escalated to the site administrators. What happens after that is outside my remit, so I can't comment on the processes they may have in place or any decisions they make. What I can say is that concerns of this nature are treated seriously and are not simply ignored.

I would also add that moderators can only act on content that is either reported to us or that we happen to encounter ourselves. If members come across content that they believe breaches site rules or raises genuine concerns around consent, coercion or welfare, reporting it gives us the best opportunity to review it and take any action that may be necessary.

I would never force my wife to do anything with anybody. I always let her make the final decision.

A few weeks ago and on the site in question I was watching a Webcam. It was a bit rough that I am not keen on and the bloke started strangling the lady. Whatever anyone thinks, the law says that this is illegal, consentual or not! I reported it immediately to an online Admin who did nothing.

The most disturbing fact for me were the comments from other viewers - shocking, disgusting and quite frankly frightening. It is a very sad world that we are finding ourselves in!

Clearly as moderators we can't do anything about what happens on other sites (although I'd still encourage you to report anything like this) On this site however, I would encourage you to report anything you feel is inappropriate/dangerous/illegal- the mods will take action if needed and where necessary this is passed on to admin, for further action which might result in reports being made to the police if appropriate, just be aware that we wont be able to update you on those actions as that might create problems later.

This issue being discussed here is a good thing. I saw the BBC report and listened to the wife's interview. I did wonder why she allowed an abusive partner to get away with it for so long. I did once have an experience where the wife was led blindfolded into a hotel room where I was waiting. I felt uncomfortable as I wasn't sure she was happy with the set up. She only spoke once to say hi quietly as the husband placed her hand on my body.

I ask her if she's OK, she nodded. The husband was instructing initially but once we got going she took charge. Even though she didn't speak, I kept asking if she's OK, and each time, she nodded with a smile. Would have been nice to see her eyes, but I guess that's her thing.

We fucked for about 20 mins, I allowed her to dictate the tempo and how it all went. At the end the husband said thank you and led her out still blindfolded.

This is back in the news (somewhat) today, on the BBC website "Fifty women tell the BBC they were pressured into having sex with strangers".

"No other stories day" in the press again?

Following on from "Man jailed for making woman have sex with strangers" earlier in the year?