Prompted by some interesting remarks from 'veteran' members ;) Is it possible to walk away from swinging without a backward glance? I know and understand people take breaks and stuff as we've done that, primarily for medical reasons, but always knew we'd restart. Surely the effects of swinging must remain in your thoughts and actions fot the rest of your life. Also, would/is there a temptation to return to it if even if you've said "Nada, never again? Surely there must be.
To a couple of friends who were thinking of starting swinging, and to me, in all honesty seemed to be taking it very lightly and with little thought I suggested to them as you guys have broadly spoken that it's not possible to ever go back. From my point of view I tried explaining how watching your partner get fucked for the first time leaves a massive scar, whether good or bad, in our case good, thank bloody hell for it, but you don't quite know how massive an effect seeing that happen is until it's done and there's no going back because it's fixed in your box like nothing else.
I think it's certainly a life-changing thing and needs a bit of thought and agreement before you start. Although we've made lots of true friends through the club scene it's the sex that will keep us in it. There is only so much you can do at home and definitely nothing that needs another 10 people.
"Once the toothpaste is out of the tube" :giggle: Interesting question. The sexual side --- easy to walk away from. Actually, once I made the decision to stop, it was easy. It was actually harder admitting to myself that I didn't like it any more, than actually stopping. Once I had made that realisation, it was very simple. It wasn't meant to be permanent, but it's now coming up for 5 years and I still have no desire to go back. I could never go back to the frequency of what I used to do, for health reasons, but even the thought of something tame... you know what, no, it's just not for me any more. Yet - the lifestyle.... No, I wouldn't want to leave. No reason to. I like the people. I've made friends. I just choose not to have sex with any of them any more. :smile2:
i think it all depends on the reasons you have decided to leave ... medical and unable to play. quite easy .. a new partner and unable to play ... easy same partner but you want to stop ... easy same partner and partner wants to stop .... difficult there are many other reasons some will make it easier to stop just as some others will make it difficult. you can never undo what you have taken part in just as you cannt undo any vanilla choices you have made, you just have to live with them.
Quote by Chipy I like to dip in and out when the mood suits. So yes can leave it behind.
if you dip in and out then surley you have not actually left Maybe, but it's not time dependent. More when the mood suits, or someone has sparked my interest. I might not swing for a month / year or two, then have a dabble
Quote by Devon1 I like to dip in and out when the mood suits. So yes can leave it behind.
if you dip in and out then surley you have not actually left Maybe, but it's not time dependent. More when the mood suits, or someone has sparked my interest. I might not swing for a month / year or two, then have a dabble So... have a dabble you say... :rascal:
Quote by Dirtygirly I like to dip in and out when the mood suits. So yes can leave it behind.
if you dip in and out then surley you have not actually left Maybe, but it's not time dependent. More when the mood suits, or someone has sparked my interest. I might not swing for a month / year or two, then have a dabble So... have a dabble you say... :rascal: Anytime
I've said "never again" a few times, but have found myself back here again and again. I've tried vanilla but that didn't work out either, so now I think swingy or some sort of bdsm is where I'm best suited - but everyone seems to be of the opinion that these aren't the places to start relationships. The number of weddings I've been (or invited) to from here tell me otherwise though ;)
Quote by Angel Chat I've said "never again" a few times, but have found myself back here again and again. I've tried vanilla but that didn't work out either, so now I think swingy or some sort of bdsm is where I'm best suited - but everyone seems to be of the opinion that these aren't the places to start relationships. The number of weddings I've been (or invited) to from here tell me otherwise though ;)
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a vanilla friend in the days when I was in my swinging heyday. This friend was curious, though concerned about my lifestyle. The specifics of the conversation are lost in the mists of time, but the upshot of it was, "Now you are involved in all of that swinging stuff, how will you ever have a normal relationship again?" :uhoh: My reply, I think was something like, "Why would I ever want a normal relationship????" But I do think his point, now I think about it, was valid. Even if I wanted to, I really don't think I could ever go back to a vanilla relationship. I am happily single. There is no-one on the horizon, so to speak, vanilla or otherwise. But the mere thought of a vanilla relationship. No. Yet, I have no desire to swing. Whether that leaves me in a big social limbo, I don't know. But I'm kinda happy with it, whatever it is :lol2:
the playing? yes i can leave that behind and have for quite some time the people and friends, no never and nor would i want too swinging was a big part of life that helped me through a certain period of my life, gave me my confidence back, opened my eyes to a lot of new experiences and things i had no idea even existed, changed my opinion of a lot of things including my own perceptions of people and how i saw and even judged people that i wasnt aware of. i travelled the country and even to ireland on my own to begin with which was a huge step for me never having really driven any kind of distance, then with friends i made, i had a fantastic time for many years and man it cost me a fortune but gave me so many laughs, memories, unforgettable images, mind opening experiences and some of the best people i have ever met a lot i now call friends a few i call really close friends who i know would drop everything if i needed them. I regret nothing about it even the bad stuff as for the future, well that belongs to itself and who knows what it will bring
I've been thinking about this a bit...on and off. We've left it behind since about 2007-8 I think. We didn't particularly mean to but life events sort of crept up on us and took over and then we moved away from here for abit because we lost our site mojo. We didn't go anywhere else either though so whether that helped to lock the door or not I don't know. It's just recently that I've had the urge to look in again and for a while not a lot was happening but just recently I've recognised a few names from back in the day so I feel a bit more at home than a month or two ago. Although me and Stormy are very much together, he still hasn't found his posting boots and I'm very busy so appearances here may be sporadic. I'm definitely not saying never again as we had a great time with the ladies we met and maybe that will happen again, but I'm not curious anymore...I know what I like so at least thats the wondering out of the way :confused2:
Quote by bluexxx The sexual side --- easy to walk away from. Actually, once I made the decision to stop, it was easy. It was actually harder admitting to myself that I didn't like it any more, than actually stopping. Once I had made that realisation, it was very simple. It wasn't meant to be permanent, but it's now coming up for 5 years and I still have no desire to go back. I could never go back to the frequency of what I used to do, for health reasons, but even the thought of something tame... you know what, no, it's just not for me any more. Yet - the lifestyle.... No, I wouldn't want to leave. No reason to. I like the people. I've made friends. I just choose not to have sex with any of them any more. :smile2:
Quote by Devon1 I like to dip in and out when the mood suits. So yes can leave it behind.
if you dip in and out then surley you have not actually left Maybe, but it's not time dependent. More when the mood suits, or someone has sparked my interest. I might not swing for a month / year or two, then have a dabble So... have a dabble you say... :rascal: Anytime Name a date! :inlove:
Quote by Shireen The sexual side --- easy to walk away from. Actually, once I made the decision to stop, it was easy. It was actually harder admitting to myself that I didn't like it any more, than actually stopping. Once I had made that realisation, it was very simple. It wasn't meant to be permanent, but it's now coming up for 5 years and I still have no desire to go back. I could never go back to the frequency of what I used to do, for health reasons, but even the thought of something tame... you know what, no, it's just not for me any more. Yet - the lifestyle.... No, I wouldn't want to leave. No reason to. I like the people. I've made friends. I just choose not to have sex with any of them any more. :smile2:
Thanks Blue, saves me typing it out Echoes my sentiments exactly x
We left swinging behind as family commitments made it impossible to carry on. We had made some awesome friends here who stood by us and remain some of the best friends we could ever wish for. Our forum posting died off for the same reasons, and despite never throwing the towel in we just never really returned to it as much, although often dropped in. We've both gained weight, lost confidence, etc, like a lot of our friends, decided we can live without it and that the friendships are more important than the sex anyway! Would we return to swinging? Health and fitness improving, we wouldn't rule it out! The socials etc, we need to earn more to sustain that part of the fun!
Quote by essex34m You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
ha fookin eagles and so fookin true, its always there, even if you manage a vanilla relationship its your past stuff gets dug up and do you tell it up front or wait till the shit hits the fan, its never gonna leave and thats ok cos its part of who i am and the person i am now, anyone who cant accept it, isnt worth the bother
Quote by essex34m You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
I'm not getting on my knees for you often but ... this is very true! And no I won't whilst I'm down there Yeah you would. You so would. :twisted: Yeah and she'll do all your ironing cooking and cleaning too
Quote by essex34m You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
I'm not getting on my knees for you often but ... this is very true! And no I won't whilst I'm down there Yeah you would. You so would. :twisted: I've been using that line regularly for 16 years..... and it's NEVER worked ..... yet :twisted:
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this is very true!
