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Charity begins at home
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then changed my mind
Sex God
I can see what you mean. But how to enforce it - I have 6 first cousins that I know of, about half their parents are still living, 2 blood nephews and goodness knows how many by marriage (one branch breed like rabbits). Of them I have met 1 recently. I have communicated with 1 other in the last year.
I could see me having to 'help out' people I haven't seen in 20 years and couldn't pick out in a line-up. And don't care much about come to that. I would rather help my friends - on here, from work, from the vanilla world.
Put it this way - I wouldn't stand as a loan guarantor for most of my 'family' but I could name 10 friends off the top of my head that I would stand for.
I could see me having to 'help out' people I haven't seen in 20 years and couldn't pick out in a line-up. And don't care much about come to that. I would rather help my friends - on here, from work, from the vanilla world.
Put it this way - I wouldn't stand as a loan guarantor for most of my 'family' but I could name 10 friends off the top of my head that I would stand for.
Sex God
Quote by flower411
I can see what you mean. But how to enforce it - I have 6 first cousins that I know of, about half their parents are still living, 2 blood nephews and goodness knows how many by marriage (one branch breed like rabbits). Of them I have met 1 recently. I have communicated with 1 other in the last year.
I could see me having to 'help out' people I haven't seen in 20 years and couldn't pick out in a line-up. And don't care much about come to that. I would rather help my friends - on here, from work, from the vanilla world.
Put it this way - I wouldn't stand as a loan guarantor for most of my 'family' but I could name 10 friends off the top of my head that I would stand for.
That`s the thing ....it isn`t a case of "enforcing" it`s a case of returning it to a cultural norm .
It could never be enforced but we should be looking at State aid as a last resort rather than a first fix.
Got you. We already do that in our family - among the ones that are close. Not to the point of fully replacing state aid - but certainly covering emergencies.
Sex God
We already support each other as best we can.
As an example we recently had a new kitchen installed. We bought it with a staff discount through a cousin. Mrs T's dad's cousin installed it as he is a kitchen fitter. My cousin carried out the electrical side of things and one of my sisters did the plumbing and I did the rest. The net result is that we paid only 40% of the cost we were quoted for purchase and installation.
When my youngest brother was interested in getting on the property ladder a brother and another sister and I helped him get a mortgage. We all went on the mortgage with him as he would never have been able to get it on his own as a student and poor income at the time. Five years later and he owns the property outright and none of us is a penny out of pocket.
Two years ago when we moved from Scotland a second cousin of mine I had not seen in nearly 20 years and who had never met Mrs T offered her a job, and she is still working there.
These are all examples of how our extended family already tries to help one another, but I suspect any family would do the same if they could.
I will make the assumption therefore that you mean in terms of money when someone loses their job? Around 18 months ago yet another cousin (I have an unbelievably large family!) found himself suddenly unemployed. He struggled hard to find any gainful employment and a chance conversation with an old friend, led to a suggestion of applying to a large supermarket nearby. A friend of my friend offered him a job, nothing fantastic, but a regular wage and since then he has been able to motivate himself into becoming a prison officer. Whilst things weren't so good however he was a baby sitting, gutter clearing, family dogsbody. He wouldn't take assistance, so he earnt it from us.
As an example we recently had a new kitchen installed. We bought it with a staff discount through a cousin. Mrs T's dad's cousin installed it as he is a kitchen fitter. My cousin carried out the electrical side of things and one of my sisters did the plumbing and I did the rest. The net result is that we paid only 40% of the cost we were quoted for purchase and installation.
When my youngest brother was interested in getting on the property ladder a brother and another sister and I helped him get a mortgage. We all went on the mortgage with him as he would never have been able to get it on his own as a student and poor income at the time. Five years later and he owns the property outright and none of us is a penny out of pocket.
Two years ago when we moved from Scotland a second cousin of mine I had not seen in nearly 20 years and who had never met Mrs T offered her a job, and she is still working there.
These are all examples of how our extended family already tries to help one another, but I suspect any family would do the same if they could.
I will make the assumption therefore that you mean in terms of money when someone loses their job? Around 18 months ago yet another cousin (I have an unbelievably large family!) found himself suddenly unemployed. He struggled hard to find any gainful employment and a chance conversation with an old friend, led to a suggestion of applying to a large supermarket nearby. A friend of my friend offered him a job, nothing fantastic, but a regular wage and since then he has been able to motivate himself into becoming a prison officer. Whilst things weren't so good however he was a baby sitting, gutter clearing, family dogsbody. He wouldn't take assistance, so he earnt it from us.
First problem I see is what happens when the government tell you, you MUST take responsibility for you aged parents or your invalid siblings who are claiming benefits, what happens if you and your family don't get along, what if your parents for example abused you as a child, abandoned you or simple didn't care for you much, do you really have to take them in and care for them ?
The second problem is further abuse of the system, I love the way asian families believe they should take care of their elders when the time comes but was dismayed when I found that this often leads to benefit abuse, claiming care allowance, paying rent to the family for their accommodation but having the rent paid by the benefit system and so on.
I wonder how many families would suddenly become entitled to benefits because their income would be spread further, struggle to explain this but let say a family of 4 suddenly becomes a family of six, that could put them into the benefit entitlement bracket.
What if your family dont want to come and live with you ?
It is a nice idea but one I fear would not work and would not make the savings we would hope for.
The second problem is further abuse of the system, I love the way asian families believe they should take care of their elders when the time comes but was dismayed when I found that this often leads to benefit abuse, claiming care allowance, paying rent to the family for their accommodation but having the rent paid by the benefit system and so on.
I wonder how many families would suddenly become entitled to benefits because their income would be spread further, struggle to explain this but let say a family of 4 suddenly becomes a family of six, that could put them into the benefit entitlement bracket.
What if your family dont want to come and live with you ?
It is a nice idea but one I fear would not work and would not make the savings we would hope for.
I would only help my own birth children and grandchildren and husband finacially if i was/am able too and they needed help. I already do when needed.
However i wouldn't help any other relatives finacially although i would and often do help them in practical ways, those include my parents and step child (it would be my husbands role to help her not mine).
If i had more money then i probably would help them but as im skint most the time anyway it's not possible.
I have already used a huge amount of my own money to keep my husbands ex and child in their house ... i did it because i thought i would get my money back but sadly thats not happened yet and probably never will
i should have left them to the state to sort them out !
I can't see the government being able to force this to happen and although i am sure many families do help each other out there will always be plenty that don't now and never will !
However i wouldn't help any other relatives finacially although i would and often do help them in practical ways, those include my parents and step child (it would be my husbands role to help her not mine).
If i had more money then i probably would help them but as im skint most the time anyway it's not possible.
I have already used a huge amount of my own money to keep my husbands ex and child in their house ... i did it because i thought i would get my money back but sadly thats not happened yet and probably never will
i should have left them to the state to sort them out !I can't see the government being able to force this to happen and although i am sure many families do help each other out there will always be plenty that don't now and never will !
Sex God
Quote by MidsCouple24
First problem I see is what happens when the government tell you, you MUST take responsibility for you aged parents or your invalid siblings who are claiming benefits,
Quote by MidsCouple24
It is a nice idea but one I fear would not work and would not make the savings we would hope for.
Jed I think you are barking up the wrong tree there. The question was:
Quote by flower411
shouldn`t a family with the means to support their relatives do just that before turning to the benefit system ?
Surely the government don't have to tell you to help out your own family? And by helping your family instead of them turning to the state straight away wouldn't some money be saved?
