Need some Advise meeting people and "getting out there"

Hi all,

I’ll keep this short and sweet. I’m getting on in age, and I’ve lived a pretty reclusive life for reasons I don’t really want to get into here.

I honestly don’t know how to approach people or get the ball rolling, and it’s really starting to affect my mental wellbeing.

I’ve never been in a relationship (I wish that was a joke), and it’s getting to me that I’m missing out on experiences other people talk about as if they’re a given the first kiss, the first date, etc.

I’ve tried online dating and similar things, but I feel invisible, so I’m starting to feel like I’ve hit a dead end.

Does anyone have any advice on meeting someone?

I'll give you my advice, for what its worth, but it might not be what you're expecting.

Join in with some local groups for whatever kind of activity you're interested in, be that a sport, recreational activity, charity volunteering etc etc. regardless of whether they are mixed or not (although probably better in the long run if it is mixed group) and just join in with the activity and any associated social events. It'll help you gain a foothold into being sociable (take it steady at first and don't rush yourself, but do make sure you join in as much as you can)

Most of all, stop putting pressure on yourself to "find" someone, there is a cliché that when you stop looking they'll appear, its largely true in my experience in the oddest circumstances, but it helps if you're sociable enough when it happens to notice!

Most of all, don't start all activities trying to "make" something happen with someone- people sense it and its off-putting in a lot of cases, let things develop and just try to make a few friends along the way, it'll help.

I'd also say that looking for that person on here (initially!) might not be the best place until you've build up some social confidence, as its a bit like learning to swim in the deep end, but stranger things have happened!

Quote by ringo1986

"Hi all,

I’ll keep this short and sweet. I’m getting on in age, "

I almost spat my irn bru oot when I read that bit.😀

I must have one foot in the grave and another on a roller skate then.

As lap states, you need to basically chill out a lot, and look at this site with your tongue firmly in your cheek; do charity work, join a gym, get a dog as lots of people meet others when out walking their pets.

People do meet other singles on here but unlike dating sites, I personally don't think that's why they join.

I joined this site years ago with a former partner and then became a single guy amongst all the thousands on here for a long time, I met a few people through going to socials etc and basically not taking this site or indeed life seriously.

Live every day with a smile on your face and a spring in your step, there are lots of people in this world so much worse off than yourself.

I was lucky in that I met my present partner on here a little over ten years ago and I was 59 when I met her so I was definitely way past "getting on in age"😳

I wasn't looking for anyone and nor was she, it just happened so try and stop looking and just see what turns up, other people can sense "desperation" and take it as a big no no.

Be happy in your own skin and good luck.

Absolute 100% agree with Lapua. Get yourself out into the real world and normal activities where other people socialise. You’re not alone, there’s plenty of others in your situation and with the same aspirations. This site isn’t likely to work for you but if you chose to remain I would personally suggest you delete some of the more extreme interests on your “activities” profile. They aren’t the things that matter. Wish you well

Can any help me find soo