Sexist, over familiar, or just terms of endearment?

31 Jan 2012

Bus drivers in Brighton and Hove have been told not to call passengers "babe" or any such familiar terms. But how offensive are they?
Eric Morecambe called his guests "sunshine", Coronation Street's Vera Duckworth used to call anyone and everyone "chuck" - but bus drivers in Brighton are being asked to think twice before they refer to passengers as "babe", "love" or "darling".
Surely these are all just terms of endearment?
Pet and hinny - North East England
Duck - Midlands/Yorkshire
Kidder - Liverpool
Our kid - Manchester
Babes - Essex
My lover - South West England
Boyo - Wales
Chuck - Coronation Street

31 Jan 2012

All must bow down at the altar of the PC Doctrine! worship

31 Jan 2012

Quote by Bluefish2009
Bus drivers in Brighton and Hove have been told not to call passengers "babe" or any such familiar terms. But how offensive are they?
Eric Morecambe called his guests "sunshine", Coronation Street's Vera Duckworth used to call anyone and everyone "chuck" - but bus drivers in Brighton are being asked to think twice before they refer to passengers as "babe", "love" or "darling".
Surely these are all just terms of endearment?
Pet and hinny - North East England
Duck - Midlands/Yorkshire
Kidder - Liverpool
Our kid - Manchester
Babes - Essex
My lover - South West England
Boyo - Wales
Chuck - Coronation Street

i can imagine a banks customer services saying morning " mate " or sorry we did not pay your standing order " babe ".
sorry bluefish they may be terms of endearment, but nothing wrong in being a bit more polite with sir or madam or miss.
lets not lose all of the old fashioned values, to be replaced with modern day rubbish :thumbup:
3 cheers for the bus company boink

31 Jan 2012

Quote by starlightcouple
Bus drivers in Brighton and Hove have been told not to call passengers "babe" or any such familiar terms. But how offensive are they?
Eric Morecambe called his guests "sunshine", Coronation Street's Vera Duckworth used to call anyone and everyone "chuck" - but bus drivers in Brighton are being asked to think twice before they refer to passengers as "babe", "love" or "darling".
Surely these are all just terms of endearment?
Pet and hinny - North East England
Duck - Midlands/Yorkshire
Kidder - Liverpool
Our kid - Manchester
Babes - Essex
My lover - South West England
Boyo - Wales
Chuck - Coronation Street

i can imagine a banks customer services saying morning " mate " or sorry we did not pay your standing order " babe ".
sorry bluefish they may be terms of endearment, but nothing wrong in being a bit more polite with sir or madam or miss.
lets not lose all of the old fashioned values, to be replaced with modern day rubbish :thumbup:
3 cheers for the bus company boink

I agree, but surely these words still have there place my lover? :confused:

1 Feb 2012

We were having this conversation at work the other day.
If I am talking to a female passengers, I normally say 'love',
IE, "excuse me love, can you move down the bus please".
I just wished people would take it as it is meant, IE, in a nice way.

1 Feb 2012

Can I also add, I once called a female passenger 'madam'.
Her reply?
"don't you madam me!!!"
Can't win...............

8 Feb 2012

I suppose for some people these terms feel as though it familiarity from a stranger. I know when I worked in a shop when I was a slip of a lass I used to call the customers love.. now I'd call them a pain in the arse lol

In certain circumstances I don't mind it at all - I would accept it from a bus driver but would be extremely surprised if a bank teller called me love :lol: I think some companies expect staff to behave and talk in a professional manner because of the image they want to portray to their customers. Maybe bus companies want a better image to the public?
Anais :-)
PS hun is def a no no.

8 Feb 2012

It depends on the circumstances. Some people (often men or older women) use terms of 'endearment' as a way to talk down to someone they wish to display superiority over. If I am employing someone - like a builder for instance - I wouldn't accept familiarity from them. Brief encounters like bus drivers I would generally ignore it, doesn't mean I accept it as such, it's just not worth the bother to comment on it.
Hun, babe, chick are all ways of referring to a woman - a grown, educated, employed, intelligent, self-reliant, tax paying woman in the same way you would a child. I would not call a male shop assistant 'boy', 'son' or 'kid' would I?

9 Feb 2012

I don't mind what people call me and don't think it is offensive to be called by coloquial names, ie duck, chuck (I have been known to use that one quite often) mate etc they are to me simply names used everyday, but I can understand why some would feel it inapropriate to be called babe or hun implying a closer relataionship or kid implying youth or pet implying ownership.
I love to call men Sir and women Marm (pronunciation not spelling) or Miss apart from the respect it bestows it's not a bad thing to see the peoples faces wink

I don't think the bus company is being too PC, a business should be showing respect to thier customers, whoever they are so calling customers sir or madam or miss as the old shops used to do is not a bad thing
I remember a teacher who shocked the class by calling them by thier forenames, unless they disrespected him, he said to do so was to show mutual respect and he would continue to show his pupils respect until they showed him they had not earned it, he was to be called Mr xxxxxxx or Sir out of respect for his age and profession, it worked very well

11 Feb 2012

i can walk into my local and get called "love", "darling" or "mate" dependant on who is working. my "misses" says it is over familiar. i feel sure that if they called me by my real name, she would see that as the same. me, i have been called all sorts. (some justified ) but we all call people different things at different times. i am sure some people would take offence to being called mr or mrs. time to stand back and stop taking ourselves seriously, i think
rick

12 Feb 2012

I would be surprised to be called Mr, (although that has happened in dim light), I am divorced so is 'Mrs' accuarate? I have been married so Miss is historically inceorrect as it refers to UNmarried not NOLONGERmarried. I loathe Ms. It is not short for anything, it is meaningless. Mr, Mrs and Miss all derive from proper words. I have heard recently of Mx which I think refers to transgender?
I propose a new (whatever you call it) title of simply M. This is like the French M for Monsieur, but it actually is simply what you put in front if you want to give a surname a prefix.
Ms came about because women objected to being forced to announce their marriage status, and therefore sexual/social vulnerability, to strangers, since men never had to. I also don't think people should have to announce their gender if they don't want to - there are times that can be detrimental and other times it can be positively damaging - to job applications etc.
You gender is only relavent for some medical situations or if you want to shag someone surely? It certainly shouldn't matter a jot to your gas supplier?
Bit of a ramble there, sorry. Point is, there should be a gender- and status-neutral title that anyone can use in front of their name.

12 Feb 2012

Quote by foxylady2209
I would be surprised to be called Mr, (although that has happened in dim light), I am divorced so is 'Mrs' accuarate? I have been married so Miss is historically inceorrect as it refers to UNmarried not NOLONGERmarried. I loathe Ms. It is not short for anything, it is meaningless. Mr, Mrs and Miss all derive from proper words. I have heard recently of Mx which I think refers to transgender?
I propose a new (whatever you call it) title of simply M. This is like the French M for Monsieur, but it actually is simply what you put in front if you want to give a surname a prefix.
Ms came about because women objected to being forced to announce their marriage status, and therefore sexual/social vulnerability, to strangers, since men never had to. I also don't think people should have to announce their gender if they don't want to - there are times that can be detrimental and other times it can be positively damaging - to job applications etc.
You gender is only relavent for some medical situations or if you want to shag someone surely? It certainly shouldn't matter a jot to your gas supplier?
Bit of a ramble there, sorry. Point is, there should be a gender- and status-neutral title that anyone can use in front of their name.

Ms is a correct term in business when you do not know the marital status of a woman. You would never use it for friends or family as since you know them, you know their marital status.
A status neautral title? Captain? Doctor? Any military title?
Dave_Notts

12 Feb 2012

As a note... 'our kid' in Manchester is only used for family members and close friends you consider as family in an opening gambit while usually putting one's arm around them in a hug, usually in a sentance such as;
"y'alright ourkid?"
Or as a reference to asking something of someone, again usually a family member or close friend you consider as family;
"I'll ask ourkid if he's got one spare y' can borra"
kiss

LG. x
ps. I don't mind 'pet names' as long as it's polite and in context. smile

Patronising c*nts will be corrected to use my name and only my name, especially in work.

12 Feb 2012

Quote by Dave__Notts
I would be surprised to be called Mr, (although that has happened in dim light), I am divorced so is 'Mrs' accuarate? I have been married so Miss is historically inceorrect as it refers to UNmarried not NOLONGERmarried. I loathe Ms. It is not short for anything, it is meaningless. Mr, Mrs and Miss all derive from proper words. I have heard recently of Mx which I think refers to transgender?
I propose a new (whatever you call it) title of simply M. This is like the French M for Monsieur, but it actually is simply what you put in front if you want to give a surname a prefix.
Ms came about because women objected to being forced to announce their marriage status, and therefore sexual/social vulnerability, to strangers, since men never had to. I also don't think people should have to announce their gender if they don't want to - there are times that can be detrimental and other times it can be positively damaging - to job applications etc.
You gender is only relavent for some medical situations or if you want to shag someone surely? It certainly shouldn't matter a jot to your gas supplier?
Bit of a ramble there, sorry. Point is, there should be a gender- and status-neutral title that anyone can use in front of their name.

Ms is a correct term in business when you do not know the marital status of a woman. You would never use it for friends or family as since you know them, you know their marital status.
A status neautral title? Captain? Doctor? Any military title?
Dave_Notts
But all those listed are earned by a work or qualification status and only apply to a mnority (I assume - haven't done the research) of people - what about the rest of us? I have letters after my name - but no prefix I can tag on to.
Ms has been chosen as the 'correct term'. Don't mean I have to like it! I still don't see any justification in being forced to announce my gender on my gas bill. If (as is the law) I will be treated the same as the man who is identified as Mr - why give different labels at all?
And I don't have the choice to leave it off since most websites that want you to register have made it a mandatory field.

13 Feb 2012

my point was that what ever a person uses to pre-fix, sur-fix, substitute or endear, some one will always be offended even when the term is used correctly. people should look at the intent. in a formal situation, i agree that a formal greeting should always be used, but i know one knight of the realm who hates being called "sir". so my point stands as i see it