In '06 when J and i first joined SH and first started this Swinging malarcky there was barely a fortnight went by when there wasn't a 'social' social going on somewhere to say nothing of the, at least six I think was, munches that took place that year. What I'm talking about is the purely social event that took place in halls and pubs etc. We loved going to them and of course for many they weren't really just socials but the swinging stuff tended to go on afterwards at the after parties (phwoar to one or two of those too) I realise that they could amount to a bloody expensive night out and that people are having to be a little more careful with their cash in the here and now. Is this a reason really? Is there a link to be made with there being so many more swinging clubs now and that people tend to use these instead? The cost comparison between pub/hall socials and swing club meet ups can't be that massive once you've paid entry and sorted accommodation if staying over etc. I do realise that a lot of clubs you take your own booze too som maybe that's a factor. Together with the idea that a Swing club sort of makes more sense if the idea is to get a possible shagging result maybe. Or is it that swinging is not the 'new black anymore'?
As a slight aside, a discussion was being had in one of the chatrooms the other day and a new swingle person piped up with what goes on at a social. To which I gave the party line; "they are a purely social event held in a neutral environment, often somewhere like a pub, where members of swinging heaven get to meet each other. As there's no play involved everyone can relax..." To say I was nearly laughed out the chatroom was an understatement. It appears that the "social" tag has changed. Maybe this would put off a few people. A "munch" of course is the same but without banned members. I think folks are organising the events without knowing the rules or history. Rather off putting for some.
Quote by Stevie_and_Kitty As a slight aside, a discussion was being had in one of the chatrooms the other day and a new swingle person piped up with what goes on at a social. To which I gave the party line; "they are a purely social event held in a neutral environment, often somewhere like a pub, where members of swinging heaven get to meet each other. As there's no play involved everyone can relax..." To say I was nearly laughed out the chatroom was an understatement. It appears that the "social" tag has changed. Maybe this would put off a few people. A "munch" of course is the same but without banned members. I think folks are organising the events without knowing the rules or history. Rather off putting for some.
:thumbup: Having attended quite a few socials in the past when we lived in the UK but never a munch, I can agree with what Stevie says. There does seem to be a certain arrogance these days in chat which I find quite unhealthy.
They've had a lot less appeal for me Lost as the site's grown. In the old days when we had really big munches a couple of times a year and the site consisted of only a few hundred core regulars I'd go to a munch knowing I'd know nearly everyone there, would spend all night bouncing around trying to catch up with everyone. That changed to the point that at Wigan munches I might be lucky to know a dozen people. There'd be a few from the forum, a few from this regular chatroom, or that regular chatroom, etc. It's become splintered. Much less point going when you don't hardly know anyone. That splintering seems evident still further when you look at the smaller, more local socials that are put on these days. Mostly chatroom types that I don't know, seemingly regs from this chatroom or that again. IMO, much as it pains me to say this, the social thing has at last become cliquey. Didn't used to be the case. Again, what's the point in me going to them?
Quote by Mr-Powers Maybe the majority of these people that went to these socials back in the day, either moved on or were banned along time ago...
Would the banning of members be a reason then? Surely non members or banned members could read the forums and attend a social if they wanted to Powers? Or a banned member was surely in contact with active members, and then would arrange to attend socials anyways? I do think that Socials have suffered in the same way that Public houses have suffered, in that people have other things to spend their money on, and going out to a social can often be more than a couple/single can afford. We have never attended a social as we are not really into either seeing what people look like from this site that we have no intention of swinging with, or to make friends with. Our aim was to meet people for a night of dirty sex. If we met them again that would be fantastic, but the intention was not to make friends only sexual partners for a short time. I think the main reason is that people just have not got the finances anymore, and we could not afford to attend a club at £40-£50 entrance fee plus drinks.
Quote by starlightcouple Maybe the majority of these people that went to these socials back in the day, either moved on or were banned along time ago...
Would the banning of members be a reason then? Surely non members or banned members could read the forums and attend a social if they wanted to Powers? Or a banned member was surely in contact with active members, and then would arrange to attend socials anyways? I do think that Socials have suffered in the same way that Public houses have suffered, in that people have other things to spend their money on, and going out to a social can often be more than a couple/single can afford. We have never attended a social as we are not really into either seeing what people look like from this site that we have no intention of swinging with, or to make friends with. Our aim was to meet people for a night of dirty sex. If we met them again that would be fantastic, but the intention was not to make friends only sexual partners for a short time. I think the main reason is that people just have not got the finances anymore, and we could not afford to attend a club at £40-£50 entrance fee plus drinks. The socials we attended were at pubs rather than clubs. The rule was that banned members were not allowed to attend munches - and quite rightly so. Many were banned for inappropriate bullying or similar and the whole idea was that people could feel 'safe' attending a munch and not be faced with one of the more sinister members of the scene. So yes, you are right. Because socials did not have the structure or backing of SH, you could meet some of these 'undesirables'. Having said that, we didn't so it was academic as far as we are concerned but we did meet some really nice people, some of whom were already 'known' to us
Quote by GnV The socials we attended were at pubs rather than clubs. The rule was that banned members were not allowed to attend munches - and quite rightly so. Many were banned for inappropriate bullying or similar and the whole idea was that people could feel 'safe' attending a munch and not be faced with one of the more sinister members of the culture.
How did that work GnV? Are you saying that SH banned members from attending ' munches ' that were help in public places? How did that work? Also were banned members not banned for saying something offensive, and not to any particular member? I do not know how any organsisation could ban anyone from a meet that took place in a pub. I obviously have misinterpreted your words.
The socials we attended were at pubs rather than clubs. The rule was that banned members were not allowed to attend munches - and quite rightly so. Many were banned for inappropriate bullying or similar and the whole idea was that people could feel 'safe' attending a munch and not be faced with one of the more sinister members of the culture.
How did that work GnV? Are you saying that SH banned members from attending ' munches ' that were help in public places? How did that work? Also were banned members not banned for saying something offensive, and not to any particular member? I do not know how any organsisation could ban anyone from a meet that took place in a pub. I obviously have misinterpreted your words. I think you have star. Munches are SH 'sponsored' events, socials are not. I don't know if the 'old' rules still apply, tbh.
The socials we attended were at pubs rather than clubs. The rule was that banned members were not allowed to attend munches - and quite rightly so. Many were banned for inappropriate bullying or similar and the whole idea was that people could feel 'safe' attending a munch and not be faced with one of the more sinister members of the culture.
How did that work GnV? Are you saying that SH banned members from attending ' munches ' that were help in public places? How did that work? Also were banned members not banned for saying something offensive, and not to any particular member? I do not know how any organsisation could ban anyone from a meet that took place in a pub. I obviously have misinterpreted your words. I think you have star. Munches are SH 'sponsored' events, socials are not. I understand that one GnV, but how can they exclude anyone be it a member on here or anyone else from a public arena? If SH were to ' sponsor ' an event that was to take place in a private function room, then yes I can see your point, but could they exclude anyone from say a pub?
The socials we attended were at pubs rather than clubs. The rule was that banned members were not allowed to attend munches - and quite rightly so. Many were banned for inappropriate bullying or similar and the whole idea was that people could feel 'safe' attending a munch and not be faced with one of the more sinister members of the culture.
How did that work GnV? Are you saying that SH banned members from attending ' munches ' that were help in public places? How did that work? Also were banned members not banned for saying something offensive, and not to any particular member? I do not know how any organsisation could ban anyone from a meet that took place in a pub. I obviously have misinterpreted your words. I think you have star. Munches are SH 'sponsored' events, socials are not. I understand that one GnV, but how can they exclude anyone be it a member on here or anyone else from a public arena? If SH were to ' sponsor ' an event that was to take place in a private function room, then yes I can see your point, but could they exclude anyone from say a pub? Someone will correct me I'm sure, but I have it in my mind that munches were held in private function rooms and socials in public areas.
If that is the case GnV, then that is why they could exclude banned members from attending a Sh event. Other than that there in no way that I can see how they can or could exclude anyone.
Quote by starlightcouple If that is the case GnV, then that is why they could exclude banned members from attending a Sh event. Other than that there in no way that I can see how they can or could exclude anyone.
Greater minds than mine can answer that for sure star. NWC is an authority on these having organised many Wigan Munchies I'm sure.
Munches were always held in a seperate function room, probably most socials bigger than a few people are also. If your name aint on the list you aint coming in. simples.
Quote by Lost In '06 when J and i first joined SH and first started this Swinging malarcky there was barely a fortnight went by when there wasn't a 'social' social going on somewhere to say nothing of the, at least six I think was, munches that took place that year. What I'm talking about is the purely social event that took place in halls and pubs etc. We loved going to them and of course for many they weren't really just socials but the swinging stuff tended to go on afterwards at the after parties (phwoar to one or two of those too) I realise that they could amount to a bloody expensive night out and that people are having to be a little more careful with their cash in the here and now. Is this a reason really? Is there a link to be made with there being so many more swinging clubs now and that people tend to use these instead? The cost comparison between pub/hall socials and swing club meet ups can't be that massive once you've paid entry and sorted accommodation if staying over etc. I do realise that a lot of clubs you take your own booze too som maybe that's a factor. Together with the idea that a Swing club sort of makes more sense if the idea is to get a possible shagging result maybe. Or is it that swinging is not the 'new black anymore'?
like you when we joined there was a social every week some we found very clique others were held at venues that where just to small so numbers was very limited i know a lot of the organisers of these socials are no longer members or members we no longer see in the chat rooms just look in the chat rooms a lot of the area rooms are no longer running (essex room, mids room, nw room, bdsm room, kent room etc etc) some of the best socials where held at a different venue every time so there was always a choice times change and with it peoples habits just out of interest when you organising a social :twisted:
Quote by starlightcouple If that is the case GnV, then that is why they could exclude banned members from attending a Sh event. Other than that there in no way that I can see how they can or could exclude anyone.
The actual place the munch was held at was suposed to be kept secret so only people on the list would know where it was, banned members wouldn't be allowed on the list so shouldn't know where it was being held. In theory anyway
I went to many socials and munches (from here and other sites) in my first few years here, never much liked them to be honest as i'm not a sociable person so found them generally a trial. Then i met my fella and we went to them simply because there were a place we could go to and be together (we didn't live together then), we rarely spoke to anyone else except to tell them we weren't looking for anyone to play with after the social/munch ! Then we moved in together and didn't need to use socials or munches to be together and although we did go to some for a while after we started living together we found them boring in general so stopped going as we far prefered to stay home or go Chams, we did carry on going to Chams socials for a while but stopped that now too ! Money isn't the reason we have stopped going to them at all as we still frequently spend money on hotels, drinks, food, petrol etc when we go to gigs and sports events.
I suspect that, if indeed socials have dwindled, it's because many people found them uninteresting, and organisers thought they were more hassle than they were worth. I've only ever attended my local socials, only 3 in the last six years, and I couldn't claim to have had a good night out, although it's always good to meet people, and I favour supporting any effort to encourage socialising between members. I actually wondered, on one occasion, why I was there when I could have been having fun in my local. The only reason I would travel to a bigger social would be to meet forumites and chatroom regulars whom I've bantered with over the years. I do sense, however, that I am in a minority, and that most have an underlying desire to find playmates. In that respect I may as well stay local where the bars are full of potential playmates.
Seems to me that same venue socials are too frequent and there are too many of them, after a while it's bound to get a bit boring. Less of and less frequent would be the way forward.
The socials we attended were at pubs rather than clubs. The rule was that banned members were not allowed to attend munches - and quite rightly so. Many were banned for inappropriate bullying or similar and the whole idea was that people could feel 'safe' attending a munch and not be faced with one of the more sinister members of the culture.
How did that work GnV? Are you saying that SH banned members from attending ' munches ' that were help in public places? How did that work? Also were banned members not banned for saying something offensive, and not to any particular member? I do not know how any organsisation could ban anyone from a meet that took place in a pub. I obviously have misinterpreted your words. I think you have star. Munches are SH 'sponsored' events, socials are not. I understand that one GnV, but how can they exclude anyone be it a member on here or anyone else from a public arena? If SH were to ' sponsor ' an event that was to take place in a private function room, then yes I can see your point, but could they exclude anyone from say a pub? Someone will correct me I'm sure, but I have it in my mind that munches were held in private function rooms and socials in public areas. G, Always have the following on all the Socials we organise, eitehr the Macc Socials or any of the others like a couple 200 miles away in Essex, etc. For anyone who has not attended a Social before, and for some of the regulars who may have forgot the definition of a Social, the following link may be of help – http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/65788.html as this page has the http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/assets/Munch_and_Social_Guidelines.pdf plus also having the private group and it's Forum it's been posted on a 'sticky' thread there, plus always as a link in the 'final confirmation with details' PM that get's sent to all those on the list.
I think Losty, that the reason for most is probably down to finances. Usually attending a social involves a hotel stay, dinner/breakfast, drinks, possibly taxis. For those with children, the cost of childcare, and even arranging the childcare, might be a further issue. Star, a munch isn't 'sponsored' by the site. It's a munch because it's only organised for members of SH. A munch is usually held in a venue which is self-contained for the occasion, ie. not open to the general public, own bar, own toilets for the munch attendees. Banned members are unable to add themselves to the list, so they can't attend. Details are sent out by PM, so they can't find out the details of the venue, date etc. If someone tells a banned member those details, I believe they may also be subject to a ban. And quite rightly, in my opinion. A social is open to non-members also. Banned members may be in attendance, but the other attendees should be made aware that there will be non- members or banned members there. I have been to socials where it has been stated on the thread that there will be banned members there; it's then up to me to find out who they are (I believe the organisers have to tell you if asked) and decide whether or not I would still attend, once in possession of their names.
Speaking as a total neophyte, I was surprised that there neither Munches nor socials listed on a fulsome and regular basis. As a new joiner to SH and the swinging scene, anything which is seen to help in meeting people and understanding the scene would have been a bonus. (Although I think the reality of a meet would have been way worse than the expectation!) In actual fact it was the great help from a couple who suggested we go to a club for the first time, who helped us to understand how best to get in to the swinging scene (thanks John & Shell!). Had it not been for that human touch, we would probably still be trying to understand how best to operate. I note that most of the respondents to this thread are of godlike or similar status. The danger there is that they generate a cosy ‘club culture’ where you only see things from you own well-worn perspective. No offence meant just an observation that it is a VERY steep learning curve for the newbie, and most old timers have forgotten that. The site is littered with uncompleted profiles where I can imagine that the member has just lost heart and doesn’t really know how to begin. If you are new to swinging than you probably have enough on your plate justifying this new and unusual approach to life, without also having to hack through the timewasters who on occasions seem to be 95% or the membership. This post was meant as an illumination, so I hope nobody takes offence.
My "status" on the forums isn't an indiction on how many socials or munches i have been to though or how many people i know here It's simply an indication of how many messeges i have posted here :)
Quote by nellie-mwgc My "status" on the forums isn't an indiction on how many socials or munches i have been to though or how many people i know here It's simply an indication of how many messeges i have posted here :)
Yes, I understand that, however I believe it is valid to say that those who have posted a lot of messages, have been around a longish time in order to do so, and it is likely therefor that they 'know their way around', unlike a newbie. That was the point I was hoping to make.
Quote by jandotherj I note that most of the respondents to this thread are of godlike or similar status. The danger there is that they generate a cosy ‘club culture’ where you only see things from you own well-worn perspective. No offence meant just an observation that it is a VERY steep learning curve for the newbie, and most old timers have forgotten that. The site is littered with uncompleted profiles where I can imagine that the member has just lost heart and doesn’t really know how to begin. If you are new to swinging than you probably have enough on your plate justifying this new and unusual approach to life, without also having to hack through the timewasters who on occasions seem to be 95% or the membership. This post was meant as an illumination, so I hope nobody takes offence.
None taken whatsoever. That's the second time someone's commented on the Godlike thing in the last week or so. Hmmmmmm. I don't think we've forgotten the realities or how hard it can be to get started. If anything I understand only too well how it must be even harder to start out now given the growth of the site. When I started you could could count the core, regular membership active on a day in, day out basis in the low hundreds but even then the social route was the route I took ( following from being reg in either chat or on the forum ) as a way to get to know that core better, and the route I have advised pretty much everyone else to take since. Especially single men, but single women and couples also. It's how I got my foot in the door so to speak, and worked very nicely for me as what was then a single male, then as a couple, now a single male again. It's difficult to advise new members do that when there ain't no bloody socials to direct new members to. I dunno where I stand in respect of the scene at the moment, my profile is completely blank partly for that reason but I know I would struggle to get back into it ( beyond a circle who already exist and are probably too far into the friends stage to consider the benefits with thing most often, I dunno, I've not tried to shag any of them in years! ) without a social scene myself, I'd be effectively starting from scratch too so again, don't imagine we don't understand the difficulties. It's sad the way things seem to have gone.
Quote by jandotherj My "status" on the forums isn't an indiction on how many socials or munches i have been to though or how many people i know here It's simply an indication of how many messeges i have posted here :)
Yes, I understand that, however I believe it is valid to say that those who have posted a lot of messages, have been around a longish time in order to do so, and it is likely therefor that they 'know their way around', unlike a newbie. That was the point I was hoping to make. Ok but i dont think how many messeges i have made helps me in any way with meeting or going to socials as they are very different things :) i still feel like a newbie anyway, i dont know any of the other people here who post on threads nor have i met any of them as far as i know ... probably the best way to get into swinging is simply to meet people and have sex, posting on forums isnt any help with that ! Good luck :)
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Not sure Lost. I'm willing to bet finances have a pretty big part to play though.
) without a social scene myself, I'd be effectively starting from scratch too so again, don't imagine we don't understand the difficulties. It's sad the way things seem to have gone.