Single males are we really welcome?

I joined Swinging Heaven this week and I have to say that I have been a little disappointed 😕

I feel like, as a single male user, I'm not really part of the community. Are all single men just annoying and unwelcome. 

I've seen terrible behaviour in the past when I used to go dogging, people who crashed into a scene and ruined it for everyone. People who were too pushy, didn't know when to take no for an answer etc. But I also met loads of great like minded people who just wanted to have fun in one way or another! 

I have a wife who I love but due to health changes has zero interest in any physical relationship. Not even a kiss beyond a frosty cheek.

I haven't had any form of sex for the last 2 years and I have to face the reality of the rest of my life without it. That's not an easy prospect to deal with and I am SO frustrated. Rather than run off for a full blown affair or leave someone who I genuinely love, I just want to have the occasional very discrete, safe and adventurous sexual liason to keep me from going insane! 

I don't want to pester couples with pictures of my junk (despite being a real exhibitionist). I just want to feel the thrill and love of sex and physical contact! 

Before I was married I was so sexually active and now I'm reduced to what, porn? I don't want to pay for people to let me have sex with them, that's not a joyful experience. 

Someone tell me I'm wrong and that actually this is the right place? I feel like Swinging Heaven is happy to take the money, but really, us single males looking for fun aren't welcome here. 

I'd say there are a few of things to say here- the first is that, as with most things- you get out pretty much what you put in, the more engaged and involved you make yourself with the site, the more pleasant experience you're likely to have.

The second is patience- you say you joined a week ago, don't expect many things worth doing to be so quick, it takes time to let people get to know you, find people who are into the same things, perhaps meet socially first and THEN potentially for more.

Third- are you what people are looking for? if you're approaching people who are only interested in bi-females, you're just going to annoy them and its not going to work for either of you.

I will say that generally speaking some single guys on here get tarred with a brush that you're obviously familiar with, some of them are rude, pushy and annoying to people, that's not the case with all by any means, but you know how a few bad apples can spoil a whole barrel- All I can advise on this is to be one of the good ones, bring the balance back to the good side, don't make people feel like you're acting as if "entitled" to anything and you'll probably be surprised!

Finally- people won't make decisions about whether to meet you based on what you want, what your situation is or even your reason for being here, they will make them based on what THEY want.

Having said all of this- welcome to the site- I hope it works out well for you, it's been a place I've made a great number of friends because of and I've never regretted joining in and its been a LOT of fun along the way.

Thank you for your reply, perhaps my 2 years of no sex is affecting my brain lol. It wasn't the fact that I haven't had any results, I understand these things take time and I like talking to people so the social aspect suits me anyway. I think I just need reassurance that I am not just here to make up the financial numbers. 

I hate to be somewhere I'm not really welcome, and thus far I have felt a sense of anti single males. Probably just need a little more time to bed in (pun intended). But it's good to know that it isn't a waste of time and hope! 

Whilst I am happy posting rude photos in my profile I wouldn't spam other members with unwelcom" junk"🥒 mail 😅. Also I do read people's profiles because 1)It's common sense to see if they are a possible match and 2)If nothing else it can be quite a turn on anyway, even if you see that you're not compatible. 

Cheers for your articulate and helpful reply 😊

as the other respondent said, it takes time and patience. 

Most of the time, it's about using any swinging site correctly. 1 week or so is not a long time to feel disappointed..You have to remember that you are not the only male on here looking for meets..The competition is very high..it's the same on any swinging site all over the world. We see a lot of posts saying no sex at home..and to be honest, most folk don't believe that statement..We do not know your home circumstances, But do we really need to know, only because we have to take your word for it..We has a couple, meet married men, It's up to the individuals what they do, the guys and the folk that meet them.

Pics..at least put a pic or two of some sort.. a clothed body shot a bare chest..

Profile..lose any negatively..make it happy and outline what you like and what you are looking for and the times you maybe available to meet..a profile that's sets out this will save folk time if and when they want to contact you.

Not had sex in years..Most will see this in the same way as a cheesy chat up line..it will not help you get laid...

Other profiles...Always fully read them, no matter how long they are..there is nothing worse than somebody contacting you and it clearly shows they have not read it..."Hi darling you look great..fancy a meet tonight"...When it's clearly a couples account and on our profile We do say she has no interest in the admin side of swinging  and never comes on here anyway..

Give yourself chance..get yourself known like you have done with this post by interaction on SH ...but it's about fun too, and not to have  unrealistic expectations of the lifestyle..if you need instant sex with little effort, there are other means of getting it.

I have changed my profile as I can totally see the point. I have always been quite blunt and honest so I guess I tend to expect people will believe me but as you say some people will think I'm just saying it to get laid. I am new, just learning the ropes (not that kind 😉) I guess. I think I just got frustrated with seeing so much "no single male" that I thought perhaps I was wasting my hopes. I appreciate the response I've had from people and certainly got a new mindset. I'm not changing the bit about no sex in 2 years because I am up front and truthful in so much as a guy who is looking for a an illicit sex life can be! I don't want to con anyone into the sack, I've always got on well with people by being very blunt and saying what I think, including the nice stuff. If I like people I tell them, I don't really know how to play games so I tend to be pretty literal! To be honest your responses have set me straight(for a bi curious guy 😉) and I will probably erase this status and rejig my expectations /approach to this. 

The 2 years is bloody true though, Valentines day 2018 😳😳😳😂 

Welcome to the site! I don't think there is much I can add to the very good advice you've already had. From your responses I think you'll probably fit in just fine, a friendly approach and not taking yourself too seriously works well here! 

I would suggest spending time in the various chat rooms getting to know people, join in conversations and let people find out what you are about before you start sending them private messages. Socials can also be a good way to get to know folks, people like to know who they are talking to. 

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Mora