Singles Social - East Midlands

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Try2
Minx I’ve already told you what I think of your idea and reading the thread I have noticed that most of those who have expressed an interest in attending are male and very few females. I also know that some who have responded have regular partners though they class themselves as singles.
There seems to be two types of singles i.e., those who are single and those who are single with a partner.

Simply because a someone has a regular playmate does not make them a couple or a single with a partner. In my eyes a person is single if they hold no bond, be it emotional, marriage, children, relationship, etc.

17 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x

Playing devils advocate here...
That could never be guaranteed anyway could it

Sadly not, there will always be people, both men and women, who think it's acceptable to lie to and cheat on their spouse/partner, the 'what they don't know can't hurt em' school of thought.
What I don't understand is why some people are finding a 'single's night' as a concept so hard to fathom. There are numerable socials and munches organised aimed mainly at couples, why shouldn't there be an event aimed at single people where they can go and socialise and meet other single people, what's so wrong with it?
H.x
I dont find it hard to fathom or disagree with it and I reckon if organised correctly it will be a raging sucsess..
What I asked was that simply because I am part of a couple who on occasion swing alone and almost always go to munches/socials alone does this exclude us from attending :dunno:

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
I dont find it hard to fathom or disagree with it and I reckon if organised correctly it will be a raging sucsess..
What I asked was that simply because I am part of a couple who on occasion swing alone and almost always go to munches/socials alone does this exclude us from attending

Would a single person be excluded from a couples only night? Just because you alone doesn't make you single.
H.x

17 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x

I dont find it hard to fathom or disagree with it and I reckon if organised correctly it will be a raging sucsess..
What I asked was that simply because I am part of a couple who on occasion swing alone and almost always go to munches/socials alone does this exclude us from attending

Would a single person be excluded from a couples only night? Just because you alone doesn't make you single.
H.x
So either one of us would be discriminated against for being open and honest..

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
So either one of us would be discriminated against for being open and honest..

I'd be discriminated against for being single not being able to attend a couple's night.
I realise that a fair few married/attached people may turn up saying they are single and what you're saying is why is it fair for them to go and not for you. The answer is, it's not fair, they should be there. Why, when there are so many socials/munches organised, would someone who was part of a couple be so intent on attending, I don't understand.
H.x

17 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x

So either one of us would be discriminated against for being open and honest..

I'd be discriminated against for being single not being able to attend a couple's night.
I realise that a fair few married/attached people may turn up saying they are single and what you're saying is why is it fair for them to go and not for you. The answer is, it's not fair, they should be there. Why, when there are so many socials/munches organised, would someone who was part of a couple be so intent on attending, I don't understand.
H.x
As its pretty much on the doorstep accomodation wouldnt be a problem and travel costs would be minimal..

17 Nov 2007

i think it would be a good idea

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
As its pretty much on the doorstep accomodation wouldnt be a problem and travel costs would be minimal..

http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/203572.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/208721.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/203192.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/153151.html
H.x

17 Nov 2007

Congratulations on your prowess at searching rolleyes

If you bother to read a couple of the threads you have linked you will see that one of us is on the list :roll:

17 Nov 2007

I hope you have a great time, although that just further illustrates my point that there are plenty of socials and munches that you can attend.
H.x

17 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x
I hope you have a great time, although that just further illustrates my point that there are plenty of socials and munches that you can attend.
H.x

So are we/am I limited to the number of events we/I can attend ????
Sorry......
Didint realise there was a quota rolleyes

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
If its going to be a social then I'm certain the organiser can invite who they please so they can sort a happy balance of male and female..
If organised correctly it'll work well and be a good night :thumbup:

:thumbup:
H.x

17 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x
If its going to be a social then I'm certain the organiser can invite who they please so they can sort a happy balance of male and female..
If organised correctly it'll work well and be a good night :thumbup:

:thumbup:
H.x
I dont see where your going dunno

unless you're trying to influence the organiser into not allowing either one uf us to attend :dunno:

17 Nov 2007

It is an interesting debate that mallock and h-x are having, but i am not sure if this is the place to be having the "when is a single not a single" and "when is a couple not a couple" debates......
I know single people who have asked to add a +1, a fuckbuddy, or 2 single people going together to qualify for certain "couples" events...
on the other side of the coin, I know couples who meet and play as singles...
There are always going to be grey area's regardless of how an event is organised... and certain people are not going to be happy whatever way stuff happens..
All you can ask is to organise an event to how THEY see fit......

17 Nov 2007

I'm not trying to influence anyone.
It's a single's night, it does what it says on the tin.
H.x

17 Nov 2007

Right...
This will be a SINGLES night. If your married or attached then your not available SHOULD someone be looking for a swinging or other relationship. You have someone, a real single person doesn't.
So Mallock2006 as you fall into this catagory and you have been unquestionally honest about it, thankyou, this particular social would not be open you.
Please try not to enter into 'ruts' about this subject. You are all entitled to your opinions but at the end of the day, this one will be for singles only not matter what that opinion is.
As I've said before - It'll either fall flat or be a success. It's all trial and error & for at least one time only I am prepared to take a chance.
Minxie xx

17 Nov 2007

I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Stormwalker
I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

you are not the only one confused by the response now...
The bit in bold is the interesting bit for me...now you get a tiny bit of the feeling us single guys get when we see events labelled as couples only (which is always an interesting subject as single fems always seem to get a "pass" to these events)

17 Nov 2007

Quote by fabio
I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

you are not the only one confused by the response now...
The bit in bold is the interesting bit for me...now you get a tiny bit of the feeling us single guys get when we see events labelled as couples only (which is always an interesting subject as single fems always seem to get a "pass" to these events)
Seriously! sad

I’m rather shocked they have such events to be honest. Isn’t it rather like having a social where no size 12 or under may attend, or a beautiful couples only social where you have to be vetted for acceptability. To me a social is a meeting for Swingers regardless of sex age size or marital status.
So much for the vaunted tolerance we hear so much about

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Stormwalker
I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

Oh My ... which part of 'SHOULD anyone WISH to' do you not understand? as also with 'If you are MARRIED or ATTACHED'.
If you have a FB you dont live with and are NOT in a relationship with you will be classed as SINGLE.
And with all the fantastic socials that go on through SH why???? would you feel discriminated against from ONE and possibly ONLY singles only meet????
OR>>> is it you just like moan
Minxie xx

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Stormwalker
I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

you are not the only one confused by the response now...
The bit in bold is the interesting bit for me...now you get a tiny bit of the feeling us single guys get when we see events labelled as couples only (which is always an interesting subject as single fems always seem to get a "pass" to these events)
Seriously! sad

"I’m rather shocked they have such events to be honest. Isn’t it rather like having a social where no size 12 or under may attend, or a beautiful couples only social where you have to be vetted for acceptability. To me a social is a meeting for Swingers regardless of sex age size or marital status.
So much for the vaunted tolerance we hear so much about"<<<< You tell me?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO My my lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Ive definately heard it all now

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Stormwalker
I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

Thats exactly what I said earlier Stormy :thumbup:

Quote by Ms_minxie
And with all the fantastic socials that go on through SH why???? would you feel discriminated against from ONE and possibly ONLY singles only meet????

Only takes one to start the ball rolling....

Quote by fabio
The bit in bold is the interesting bit for me...now you get a tiny bit of the feeling us single guys get when we see events labelled as couples only (which is always an interesting subject as single fems always seem to get a "pass" to these events)

Spot on......
But then nobody would think to maon about single fems being at a social/party would they rolleyes

17 Nov 2007

The way I see it is this:
If you want a singles social. Thats brilliant! organise it see who puts their names down and have a jolly good time :thumbup:
However who is the organiser to say what SORT of single can attend? If one half of a couple who plays seperately as a single wants to attend on their own and is available for single play where is the problem?
I am of the opinion that anyone should have the freedom to organise what they want within the AUP, but just to put some perpective on it. Stormy and I meet single fems only but we wouldn't dream of arranging a social for couples and single fems ONLY as we wouldnt want to upset the high amount of very lovely single men on here who we have chatted to and got to know.
Love
Fire xxx

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Ms_minxie
I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

Oh My ... which part of 'SHOULD anyone WISH to' do you not understand? as also with 'If you are MARRIED or ATTACHED'.
If you have a FB you dont live with and are NOT in a relationship with you will be classed as SINGLE.
And with all the fantastic socials that go on through SH why???? would you feel discriminated against from ONE and possibly ONLY singles only meet????
OR>>> is it you just like moan
Minxie xx
“Should anyone wish”
Well, I’m confused by this part for a start, because I can’t see where it’s quoted from?
Perhaps in the same way Fabio may feel discriminated against from a white only social or I might feel discriminated against from a thin person social.
Moan? I would prefer to call it discussing. dunno

17 Nov 2007

Quote by Ms_minxie
I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make.. if its about relationships then surly this is the wrong place to be discussing it.
A single who has a shagging partner is a single or a couple? A couple who meet separately are a couple or singles on the night? Unless there are plans for some kind of long term relationship developing why would anyone care. Is this a swinging social or a dating social.. or do I totally the wrong end of this stick.
Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

you are not the only one confused by the response now...
The bit in bold is the interesting bit for me...now you get a tiny bit of the feeling us single guys get when we see events labelled as couples only (which is always an interesting subject as single fems always seem to get a "pass" to these events)
Seriously! sad

"I’m rather shocked they have such events to be honest. Isn’t it rather like having a social where no size 12 or under may attend, or a beautiful couples only social where you have to be vetted for acceptability. To me a social is a meeting for Swingers regardless of sex age size or marital status.
So much for the vaunted tolerance we hear so much about"<<<< You tell me?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO My my lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Ive definately heard it all now
So if I understand you correctly, you are saying I’m not tolerant because I want to see everyone included, whilst you are more tolerant because you want to exclude people?:huh:

17 Nov 2007

I’m a bit confused, is this about swinging or relationships?
If its about swinging then what difference does it make..

Some people don't want to swing with couples, therefore it makes a difference. A person who falls into that category has proposed a social event for other swingers who fancy an evening with people who don't have a husband/wide/significant other. Just because some people choose not to play with couples, doesn't mean they're looking for a relationship or that because they're single, the marital status of who they meet for swinging doesn't make a difference. Socials are meant to be for like minded people to meet, are these people not like minded?
And SH states:
Where people wish to organise a social event, we allow you to do your own thing, which is correct. Why should we dictate how you want to enjoy yourselves?

Reading the thread though, as part of a couple, I kind of feel discriminated against.

Why? the photo ads are full of people not looking for couples too - and single guys - and single straight women - and certain size people - it's all there wink

There's a social being organised at the moment, offering room for 50 couples and 20 singles....so assuming the mix of singles is split evenly by gender that means only 10 out of 120 guests are single females, less than 10%. In actuality, it looks like a first come first served basis, so single females represent 2.5% of guests! However, I don't see anyone moaning about discrimination there, so why the furore over this? dunno

I'm sorry to say it, but it seems to me that some of the comments made by people are far more about "how dare singles think they can have preferences in swinging and arrange something to suit themselves" than tolerance. Sadly, this seems to have been a growing attitude in the swinging scene of late confused

Personally, I think why not...just as I would if someone organised a couples only night for people interested in meetings others who are into full swap or a Bi only social biggrin

18 Nov 2007

stormy I'll take fire off your hands then you'll be single and able to attend......sorted..... rolleyes

18 Nov 2007

simple ideas are often the best! Find it hard to understand the lack of a singles scene so if we can muster 8 - 4 male/4 female, I am happy to host a dinner party with a twist!

18 Nov 2007

Quote by markz
stormy I'll take fire off your hands then you'll be single and able to attend......sorted.....

would that it were that simple :roll:
I don't even want to go....

18 Nov 2007

Quote by Stormwalker
stormy I'll take fire off your hands then you'll be single and able to attend......sorted.....

would that it were that simple :roll:
I don't even want to go....
spoilsport......... :roll: