Swinging Heaven Santa Soiree Saturday 26th November 2016 Xtasia 8pm 3am

Quote by DJohn
It was a different experience for the single men.  I understand why - they have regular members who come on couples nights because they expect there to be no single men.  We were tolerated, not welcome.  It was clear the staff didn't really want us there.
We were left waiting in the quiet room for the others to come and join us.  They never did.  There was porn playing on the TV in there.  When I arrived it was three men and one rather passive woman, who was expected to simply respond as the men thrust bits of themselves at her.  It was all about what the men wanted.  Her pleasure wasn't considered at all.  In a later one, a man snuck into a woman's bedroom and started touching her while she slept.  That was a bit jarring after being told explicitly that consent is essential.  If you're looking to set a mood, you need to consider the mood you're setting.  There must be better porn out there somewhere.
So I spent an hour or so watching the fish, before being told that we might was well just go down to the bar and dance-floor.  Now, I realise that I'm alone in this, and others like the loud music.  But I go to socials to socialise, and that's impossible if I can't hear anything that anyone says.
I left early, and am not tempted to go back.
This isn't a complaint (apart from the porn - I thought we were past that kind of objectification).  Life is full of risks, and sometimes things don't work out.  It didn't work out for me.  Others enjoyed themselves, and that's great.

 We didn't know that the single guys were corralled into that room DJ and are quite shocked tbh. Did wonder why there always seemed to be at least a couple in there but just presumed they were porn fans!

It sounds a pretty poor experience, on your part, and that seems hardly surprising. Sorry that your night was so clouded.

It was still great to see you two again.  I'm going to have to put a quiz together sometime.

Quote by bethian

 
We did and do not expect anyone to be forthcoming (no pun intended).  Merely saying that we felt it a shame that it seemed more a club experience than an SH get together.  And you should not be shy.

I agree the early night was a wash out when we were told to go down to the bar it improved slightly still before 10 of course but I did'nt meet anybody spoke to several males 1 female we were asked to keep to our group I stayed hoping to make more contact at least but left just before 2 it was thining out then anyway

Having wanted to go to this social, this is a thread I have followed with interest.  I had previously only once visited Xstasia (On the SH birthday social, which happened to also fall on my birthday. Where was my present of lifetime Extras, SH you tight gits!) and found it to be a decent and friendly club.

Reading this thread, it appeared to be enjoyed as an evening, but as the thread went on, and this is just me reading between the lines but it seems that all is not as it seems. To be herded into a room in a "this'll do for you lot" kind of way is at odds at what I found on my visit to the club. Having previously enjoyed evenings at other clubs, the freedom of enjoying the available facilities is a big part of enjoying the evening, and returning on later dates. It appears this has not been the case. 

But having just read the comment of "we were asked to keep to our group" I'll admit, I'd have been livid to have been told this. I have read, and therefore it is my understanding that it was a couples night and therefore singles weren't really welcome. This should have been made more clearly to both those attending the social, and those attending the club ad hoc long in advance of the social to give people chance to make up their own mind if they were to go. This is something that should have been taken into consideration between organisers and club staff/contact.

One thing that has also made me surprised whilst reading this thread is the lack of any comment from the organiser, who I understand wasn't present even if it is just to say "Hope you enjoyed yourselves, so I couldn't be with you." Silence is golden.

I've heard it said that the social scene is nothing like it used to be, reading through this thread, it is sad that a golden opportunity to give members a chance to enjoy a social, and clubs if they haven't been to one before hasn't been taken, or  any concerns addressed.

Quote by essex34m


One thing that has also made me surprised whilst reading this thread is the lack of any comment from the organiser, who I understand wasn't present even if it is just to say "Hope you enjoyed yourselves, so I couldn't be with you." Silence is golden.
 

There were two organisers, I was the other one but was unable to attend due to my currently nursing a broken ankle, it was I that negotiated with Xtasia re the single guys, not lassy.   At the same time as this, we were given instructions by Xtasia as to what was/wasn't expected of the single male which was conveyed to the single males when they were accepted on to our list.

What happened when at the club on the evening policy wise we have/had zero control over, we were kept in the loop by the club (text message) during the evening. A good few of the single males hooked up with some of the females and as such they were probably given free movement and I'm really not sure about some of the others that have made comments within this thread.

In hindsight it was perhaps poor judgement (on my part) to think Xtasia could allow single males in on what is essentially a couples night only and then expect the 'regulars (some of what are SH members but chose not to add themselves to the social list as they didn't want to commit themselves to it) to be ok about it, some were, most appeared to be but some probably were not, however during the night there was only one complaint made and it wasn't anything to do with any of the attending SH social members...

Paul & Flirt of Xtasia were as ever excellent, their venue is second to none and I'm grateful to them for allowing us to host a social at their venue, judging by the majority of the feedback given a good night was had by most.   

I'm really pleased we organised it, would I do it again? absolutely, watch this space, I/we learned a lot and for me that has to be a positive, I at least will be sorting another social out in the near future ...stay toooned

In regards to the single males attending and due to some of the feedback given,  not withstanding that their fee to get in included membership of Xtasia....as a gesture of goodwill any single male that attended via our list who was not happy with how things panned out please contact me direct and i'll raise you a refund of the deposit you paid us (£10) (we sent your deposits onto the club as we had agreed with them, Xtasia do not need to offer anything back, they did what they say they would and the above refund should not be seen as a reflection on their club or how they choose to run it and neither should you seek any kind of recompense from  Paul & Flirt who were nothing short of ace.

This now concludes the social, thread is locked, however any further comments anyone feels they want to make please direct them to me via my mailbox where I'll be happy to discuss things further.

Toots