Quite frankly I don't know whether to go to Oxford now... Lizzy with her whip, Deb and her fangs, talk of botty ravishment on a scale not seen since Michael Barrymores last private party.
I'm only going for my shortbread and to dance to YMCA. I have no idea where this depravity has come from. Well I do, Sid probably started it, but I won't apportion blame. (Though it is Sid's fault...) because I am nice (definitely Sid at the heart of this) and I don't like to point an accusing finger (well ok, Sassy and Debb too I suppose) at people when there is no evidence for (oh ok, and that naughty Mrs TN has been stirring as well...) it. I blame the mormons myself. (and Sid, Debb, Sassy and Mrs TN and everyone else, bar me cos I am a good boy...)
All i will say is the only teeth that will be anywhere near my arse is if I decide to get Jaws tattooed on one of my bumcheeks.
By the way, do you folks know we are sharing the room with the Abington and Oxford District WI and the Luton and Dunstable Catholic River Wideners Club ? Should be fun! Learn to macrame yourself a dildo, or how to bake yourself some scones in the shape of secondary sexual organs. I can't wait!
Ask
xxxxxxx
(PS. Mrs A has bought....(gulp!)... HEELS... either she is getting randier in her old age, or she fancies the pants off someone... or both... I'm scared, with all these tall ladies in their heels its going to be like land of the fecking Giants. I'm sitting with Sassy, Lizzy and TN cos I know at least I won't need a chair to stand on to talk to them...)
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VALENTINES PARTY. OXFORD. FOR BBW ROOM REGULARS
Quote by AskariCouple
I'm only going for my shortbread and to dance to YMCA. I have no idea where this depravity has come from. Well I do, Sid probably started it, but I won't apportion blame. (Though it is Sid's fault...) because I am nice (definitely Sid at the heart of this) and I don't like to point an accusing finger (well ok, Sassy and Debb too I suppose) at people when there is no evidence for (oh ok, and that naughty Mrs TN has been stirring as well...) it. I blame the mormons myself. (and Sid, Debb, Sassy and Mrs TN and everyone else, bar me cos I am a good boy...)
Depraved - me?????? absolutely...
By the way, do you folks know we are sharing the room with the Abington and Oxford District WI and the Luton and Dunstable Catholic River Wideners Club ? Should be fun! Learn to macrame yourself a dildo, or how to bake yourself some scones in the shape of secondary sexual organs. I can't wait!
You forgot that it's also the Allotments Association AGM and the main demonstration on how to completely satisfy ones needs with vegetables grown on one's own allotment is at 6pm.
I'm sitting with Sassy, Lizzy and TN cos I know at least I won't need a chair to stand on to talk to them...)
erm... right..... I see your game..... you just wanna look down our tops don't you? (adjusts corset to reveal a little more..)
Sex God
Quote by charandywell guys ans gals not long now. hope you have all got your rooms sorted
and of course all you sexy undies, and you gals as well. lol. i hear askari is wearing his pvc cat suit cant wait to see him in that, and sassy in her pink tutu, lol, ive been told that ask is making a speech so get yer drinks in
could take a while,, sorry ask just joking.
anyway guys counting the days now, and lee lip gloss is packed .. char xx
Room sorted...Tick
Sexy undies sorted (but need washing).....Tick
Get yer drinks in....Mines a pint of real ale on a handpump (but not IPA)
So how many days
: (looks round for Debb)Quote by Thinkingnaughty
Mine's a blaccurrant and soda please Ask. I'm a cheap bird LMAO....
Will be fun working out who is who!! Not to mention the accents.
I like a cheap date :lol: I'm still undertaking intensive therapy after that time I offered to buy a female work colleague a drink in a pub and purchased a LARGE glass of wine :shock:
I'm instantaneously recognisable with my flat cap on, in fact before know Ive been recognised in the middle of a busy london pub by someone who had never met me before :o
Quote by debb
anything to break the ice
My dancing normally does that..just play I think We're alone now by Tiffany (not that bloody awful cover version) and stay well clear of my flailing arms and legs :lol:
Quote by AskariCouple
And Char finally, thanks for having this idea a long time ago and having the gumption, brains and absolute genius, to get me to sort the whole buggering thing out for you bar the paying! (only kidding sweetheart ! ;-). As thanks, I propose a serial snogathon for Char at some point during the evening... grope her boobs and you are out. (That's me fecked for starters...) This could come either before or after the Botty and boob competition and of course the Half Monty (Python).
Ask
xxxxx
I second a snogathon for Char, I hope thats a big stick/tube/whatever it comes in of lip gloss you are bringing :D so if I don't grope her boobs do I goto the back of the queue again like in game of rounders, until I fail and fondle (I am too much a gentleman to do groping) - this sounds like a good challenge.
Quote by Sassy_H
Oh, and i'm gonna count all the posts on the forum and the biggest spammer had best be bending over for major spanking activity.................male or female :twisted: . Bring it onnnnnnnnnnnn Sassy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Let me know how many behind the leader I am Sassy and I can fix that before the day :D
Quote by debbHelllo I'm here :D
Hey I ain't greedy I am sure there'll be plenty of male buttock up for grabs--both figuratively and literally.................
:twisted: :shock: :twisted:
Quote by bouncy332
woohooooo we r back on line and back on the list what a glorious day :D
Hey Bouncy - well done, will be good to see you again.
Quote by sidbig
HOW meny bite marks will i have theres a list off ppl going to bite me poor bum :censored: :giveup:
and its a bigger list than my dancecard and snogcard list combined :shock: :lol: :lol:
Quote by AskariCouple
By the way, do you folks know we are sharing the room with the Abington and Oxford District WI and the Luton and Dunstable Catholic River Wideners Club ? Should be fun! Learn to macrame yourself a dildo, or how to bake yourself some scones in the shape of secondary sexual organs. I can't wait!
Ask
xxxxxxx
(PS. Mrs A has bought....(gulp!)... HEELS... either she is getting randier in her old age, or she fancies the pants off someone... or both... I'm scared, with all these tall ladies in their heels its going to be like land of the fecking Giants. I'm sitting with Sassy, Lizzy and TN cos I know at least I won't need a chair to stand on to talk to them...)
:lol: :lol: :lol: Mmmm tall women, I have a thing for tall women (but I love short women as well).
Regards
Harry Jones
May I just congratulate Harry J on possibly the longest post on here so far--way to go Harry....as of today there are27 sleeps til Oxford...and yes Sid I am letting Del out of the locked room providing he wears the lacey thong and promises to call me Mistress...as for the tall ladies Asks-don't worry there are plenty of us vertically challenged women going--so plenty of cleavage to look down--smiles and norks,should make your night I would think.
Oh and Asks...should you get a tattoo of Jaws on your bum cheek I will take it as a personal invitation to bite said buttock!!
Are you sure I will like what you have for me Sid?Only I am now geting very,very worried.............
:shock: :twisted:
Oh and Asks...should you get a tattoo of Jaws on your bum cheek I will take it as a personal invitation to bite said buttock!!
Are you sure I will like what you have for me Sid?Only I am now geting very,very worried.............
:shock:
:twisted: Sex God
Quote by debb
May I just congratulate Harry J on possibly the longest post on here so far--way to go Harry....as of today there are27 sleeps til Oxford...
Thanks Debb - Ive been away at seaside since Friday evening so there was plenty of posts to catch up on.
27 sleeps waheyyyy
Regards
Harry Jones
Warming the Bed
Damnit, im going to have to work overtime to earn the title as Spammer Of The Board. I like the sound of the prize!
I like a challenge though
I like a challenge though
I probably need to warn you all now - I have today purchased the silliest accessory imaginable with the sole intention of using it as an excuse to whack bums. (it's the BDSM in me...)
If anyone else needs such an accessory... they are in the sale in Accessorize right now for a hefty sum of The item in question is... a red devils pitchfork in cherry red and with fluffy bits on. It matches my outfit so I HAD to have it.
If you find yourself in a situation whereby your arse is whacked and you can just hear some girlie giggling whilst running away.. it was me. Sorry but you probably deserved it.
xxxxxxxxx
If anyone else needs such an accessory... they are in the sale in Accessorize right now for a hefty sum of The item in question is... a red devils pitchfork in cherry red and with fluffy bits on. It matches my outfit so I HAD to have it.
If you find yourself in a situation whereby your arse is whacked and you can just hear some girlie giggling whilst running away.. it was me. Sorry but you probably deserved it.
xxxxxxxxx
Sex God
Quote by charandy
ive just made a list of things not to forget, long list starting with the whip just for you radcover, as soon as i see you bend over and brace yerself baby.. lip gloss for lee ....
charxxxxxxxx
What about a small pencil to go with my dance and snog cards (don't forget you are on both
)Or is there something else we have in common you could bring
Regards
Harry Jones
Sexlightened
Quote by Dollyminx
Askari.... I want you.
see THE KING OFF CHATS ASKARIS geting all the ladys
he will be 
in a :censored: room like a god ......the mans in for a good 
1 or 2 :cheers: and at end of the night he will be :giveup: and :upset: for more 
ops: :oops: :oops: Love the sound of that TN...maybe I should pack the fluffy red fun cuffs as they match my dress....perfect accessorie for the evening I think...cuff the guys then bite their botties........
Spam away Curvy.....methinks Harry J is juat after a Sassy administered spanking (just between you and me I think she'll spank you even if you ain't the top spammer)
Just out of curiosity TN will both male and feamle bums be liable for the pitchfork treatment?Perverse as it sounds I am quite liking the sound of that......
:shock: :twisted:
Spam away Curvy.....methinks Harry J is juat after a Sassy administered spanking (just between you and me I think she'll spank you even if you ain't the top spammer)
Just out of curiosity TN will both male and feamle bums be liable for the pitchfork treatment?Perverse as it sounds I am quite liking the sound of that......
:shock:
:twisted: Quote by Dollyminx
Askari.... I want you.
At last Dollyminx, it's good not to live in denial. Nor it it good to live in De-Amazon. (Groan (c) The Goons 1958) This really is appalling. I apologise to all those who had this naff joke inflicted upon them.
Quote by Sidbig
see THE KING OFF CHATS ASKARIS geting all the ladys he will be EXPLETIVE DELETED in a room like a EXPLETIVE DELETED god ......the mans in for a good EXPLETIVE DELETED 1 or 2 and at end of the night he will be EXPLETIVE DELETED, EXPLETIVE DELETED and EXPLETIVE DELETED for more
You mean I may get more than just withering looks and drinks thrown over me??? You don't surely mean that one of these lovely ladies from here may... (gulp!)... kiss me on the cheek ????? (swoons). And as for after the party, we already have serious plans! Katy bringing the delux Scrabble and Sudoku set so we can party till at least half past twelve!
Last time I played I got P, U, S, S and Y. and didn't know what to do with it.
Ask xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by debb
Just out of curiosity TN will both male and feamle bums be liable for the pitchfork treatment?Perverse as it sounds I am quite liking the sound of that......
:shock:
I don't care if they are male or female arses ... I just see BUMS and prod 'em with me pitchfork! Heeheee how dodgy does that sound?
I hope you're all thinking of some fabulously naughty things to write on the valentines board. If we're lucky we'll manage to get the delectable Askari to read some of them out when he does his speechy thingy doobry.
Can be as silly, as rude or as downright slushy as ya like! Examples of things you might want to write are:
'Gunner I fecking love you mate and that was the best BJ i've ever had. Love from Jermain Defoe xxxxxxxxxxxxx' (I hope you're impressed Gunner - I had to google Spurs to find a name!)
'Sid - cheers for shagging my wife last month, she's still not recovered but i've had my break and am now ready to pounce on yours.'
'Mr TN I love you more than anything darling. Can I please snog....... '
'Askari - if I buy you a pint will you............... in that dark corner over there'
(will leave the spaces to your overactive, rude, crude and possibly donwright silly imaginations!)
Heehee... All good fun. I was going to put, all good CLEAN fun... but it wont be!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by Thinkingnaughty
I hope you're all thinking of some fabulously naughty things to write on the valentines board. If we're lucky we'll manage to get the delectable Askari to read some of them out when he does his speechy thingy doobry.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Don't wanna do a speech. I am telling me mum. Char's party she should do the speech! What am I gonna say ???!?!?!?!
"Hello ! Urrrrr ! Yeah ! Hiya ! Yeah like ! Wooo ! See Ya !"
All you lot are coming to ogle Mrs A's tits, not listen to her fat bald hubby witter on like some third rate Frank Carson. Besides I shall be busy stuffing my face on Debbs Shortbread, being whipped by Lizzy, Pronged by Mrs TN and Minxed by a Dolly. I may be incoherent by the time it comes around.
No... you don't need me to say anything. I should imagine your tongues will be engaged most of night anyway you bunch of rudies...
Ask xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(PS. Sid said that he is free for introductory snogs for new, shy or just horny people for whom this is their first or second or what the feck ever meet. Sid provides a sterling service and a real toe curler of a snog (so I am told). If you want to add your name to his list, contact him at Colonel Maudling Ralph (pronounced RAIF) Von Tongue-Lasher III. Po Box 567, Bighampton. And he can put you down for your free introductory snog. - please specify if you prefer tongue or non-tongue on your application. Thank-you.)
At this point I think Askari should come clean. He is in fact - a rabid, ferocious sexy beastie of a man that can go through 40 or so women a night and leave them all wimpering with satisfaction. He's only trying to get out of making a speechy thingy as he doesn't want to miss out on his rampant pussy worship!
I suspect we either need all the ladies to withold any kind of sexual favours from him, or, not worry too much about the speech and let the man do his worst... So - you ready to satisfy 40 or so ladies then Ask? Or would you rather do the speech?
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I suspect we either need all the ladies to withold any kind of sexual favours from him, or, not worry too much about the speech and let the man do his worst... So - you ready to satisfy 40 or so ladies then Ask? Or would you rather do the speech?
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sexlightened
Quote by AskariCouple
Anybody know the addy of a good speech website ?
Love Ask
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
yes we got a good 1 for m8
An incoherent Asks...indeed a novelty...and yep I think you should be the one to make a speech seeing as you are possibly the most cunning linguist in BBW.......
And whilst I am sure that Mrs A is indeed lovely to ogle I don't think the ladies will be too upset at ogling you...or prodding you,minxingyou etc.........I tink you get my drift.
:shock: :twisted:
And whilst I am sure that Mrs A is indeed lovely to ogle I don't think the ladies will be too upset at ogling you...or prodding you,minxingyou etc.........I tink you get my drift.
:shock: :twisted: Sexlightened
WHERES sassy :wanker: :wanker: :wanker:
:wanker: :wanker: :wanker: Sexlightened
Quote by Thinkingnaughty
I have her in my bedroom. Will let her out later.
xxxxx
Thats just so not on shes mine and lizzies keep telling you that :sparring:
Sexlightened
Quote by Thinkingnaughty
fight fight fight fight
come on then if ya think yer 'ard enough!
Sassy is my bitch!
:doh: 
