Hi ignoreme,
If you want to be ignored it's not a good idea to post twice.
If you want to be ignored it's not a good idea to post twice.
Sex God
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1-2-1/Swinging
I agree that if people are on here looking for purely single on single shags it's not swinging .. .it's taking advantage of a liberated community. But that's looking at it very black and white.
Add in various sexualities, kinks, desires and individuality .. then it's not so black and white.
I do think that the singles seem to be taking over ... not that I think its a bad thing necessarily ... but as a married, who was recently knocked back for being married ... I find it hard sometimes to understand!
Cx
Add in various sexualities, kinks, desires and individuality .. then it's not so black and white.
I do think that the singles seem to be taking over ... not that I think its a bad thing necessarily ... but as a married, who was recently knocked back for being married ... I find it hard sometimes to understand!
Cx
Quote by northwest-cpl
2 or more couples and any number of singles involved is swinging.
1 couple and any number of singles is swinging.
A single and half a couple playing with the other half's knowledge is swinging.
2 singles playing with no 3rd party involvement is shagging.
1 single playing is wanking.
Think that sums it up for me
Fee
XX
Quote by LadyFeeBee
2 or more couples and any number of singles involved is swinging.
1 couple and any number of singles is swinging.
A single and half a couple playing with the other half's knowledge is swinging.
2 singles playing with no 3rd party involvement is shagging.
1 single playing is wanking.
Think that sums it up for me
Fee
XX
Me too :thumbup:
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Can we have another spin off of SH then for us singles who only do 1-2-1? You could call it Shagging Heaven
Why? Is there not room for all of us here under this sexually liberated umbrella? - I think there is and if it does end up being a squeeze, I wouldn't complain being squeezed up next to you
I didn't ask the question to make a point of who does and doesn't belong here or who is and isn't a swinger. It has been said many times before that being a swinger is more about your attitude and I believe that.
I asked the question because of some people’s strange (to me) ideas about what swinging actually is and what they considered swinging activities. I asked also because of a pretty much judgemental snobbery I have encountered on a few occasions, where some people strongly feel the need to differentiate as if shagging is done by slags but if you 'swing' you are not a slapper.
I am not ashamed to say I spend most of my recreational sex time shagging
and if anyone has a problem with adults shagging then I would question their presence here and whether they have the right attitude? Quote by PoloLady
Why? Is there not room for all of us here under this sexually liberated umbrella? - I think there is and if it does end up being a squeeze, I wouldn't complain being squeezed up next to you
That's the best offer I've had all week :wink:
Quote by PoloLady
I didn't ask the question to make a point of who does and doesn't belong here or who is and isn't a swinger. It has been said many times before that being a swinger is more about your attitude and I believe that.
I asked the question because of some people’s strange (to me) ideas about what swinging actually is and what they considered swinging activities. I asked also because of a pretty much judgemental snobbery I have encountered on a few occasions, where some people strongly feel the need to differentiate as if shagging is done by slags but if you 'swing' you are not a slapper.
I can see where you're coming from here though it seems to have a lot of people, mostly couples funnily enough, agreeing on the idea that singles who only do 1-2-1 are not swingers. That could be true if the perception of swinging is still of the wife-swapping idea and not as recreational sex as the general consensus seems to believe it to be.
I've had 3somes and plan on having more but as I'm at the moment only playing 1-2-1 am I still swinging or am I just seen as that when there are more people in the room?
Quote by PoloLady
I didn't ask the question to make a point of who does and doesn't belong here or who is and isn't a swinger. It has been said many times before that being a swinger is more about your attitude and I believe that.
:thumbup:
At the end of the day its just another "label".
Sure, the word swinger might/might not have a set definition but I certainly don't choose my swinging/shagging partners by whether or not they fit into a certain category.
Fee
XX
Sex God
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Can we have another spin off of SH then for us singles who only do 1-2-1? You could call it Shagging Heaven
Quote by PoloLady
Why? Is there not room for all of us here under this sexually liberated umbrella? - I think there is and if it does end up being a squeeze, I wouldn't complain being squeezed up next to you
That's the best offer I've had all week :wink:
Quote by PoloLady
I didn't ask the question to make a point of who does and doesn't belong here or who is and isn't a swinger. It has been said many times before that being a swinger is more about your attitude and I believe that.
I asked the question because of some people’s strange (to me) ideas about what swinging actually is and what they considered swinging activities. I asked also because of a pretty much judgemental snobbery I have encountered on a few occasions, where some people strongly feel the need to differentiate as if shagging is done by slags but if you 'swing' you are not a slapper.
I can see where you're coming from here though it seems to have a lot of people, mostly couples funnily enough, agreeing on the idea that singles who only do 1-2-1 are not swingers. That could be true if the perception of swinging is still of the wife-swapping idea and not as recreational sex as the general consensus seems to believe it to be.
I've had 3somes and plan on having more but as I'm at the moment only playing 1-2-1 am I still swinging or am I just seen as that when there are more people in the room?
If you are enjoyoing the experience....does it matter?
Do you (not you in general Sassy) only want to have recreational sex with people from this site if it's classed as swinging?
It is what it is to you. To some it's swinging, to some it's shagging, to some it's immoral.
Does it matter????
I dont really think so.....do you?
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I can see where you're coming from here though it seems to have a lot of people, mostly couples funnily enough, agreeing on the idea that singles who only do 1-2-1 are not swingers.
I don't see that they are doing that - I see that they are answering the question about the activity. The activities we partake in do not make us any more or any less of a swinger as a person - that I beleive is more accurately defined by our open attitude to sex and others who enjoy sex.
Just as I said to Dammie - he will be a trucker no matter what he is driving.
Quote by PoloLady
I can see where you're coming from here though it seems to have a lot of people, mostly couples funnily enough, agreeing on the idea that singles who only do 1-2-1 are not swingers.
I don't see that they are doing that - I see that they are answering the question about the activity. The activities we partake in do not make us any more or any less of a swinger as a person - that I beleive is more accurately defined by our open attitude to sex and others who enjoy sex.
Just as I said to Dammie - he will be a trucker no matter what he is driving.
Point taken.
Fancy a shag? :swingingchair:
:giggle:
For me I don't care if I'm a swinger or not.
An experience is an experience and all I care about is that its a wonderful experience for all involved be there two,three,four or more of us at the time.
There is a state of mind involved,the way you see sex within yourself and the feelings of others.
It's not meant in a snobbish way but finding a person or persons you end up sharing a sexual encounter with from here is different to anything any other way,be it casual fling or a deeply commited actual physical act is the same but the way that it came to be,arranged via a website devoted to swinging as a lifestyle,gives it a different atmosphere altogether.
(Well it does for me lol!)
An experience is an experience and all I care about is that its a wonderful experience for all involved be there two,three,four or more of us at the time.
There is a state of mind involved,the way you see sex within yourself and the feelings of others.
It's not meant in a snobbish way but finding a person or persons you end up sharing a sexual encounter with from here is different to anything any other way,be it casual fling or a deeply commited actual physical act is the same but the way that it came to be,arranged via a website devoted to swinging as a lifestyle,gives it a different atmosphere altogether.
(Well it does for me lol!)
Orgasminator
I don't know if I'm a swinger or not. I know I enjoy different things at different times and have been able to fulfill some fantasies and hope for many more to be enacted! Maybe I'm "using" the scene, then again others in the scene are using me too. If you want to look at it like that. I prefer to think of it as having adult fun with likeminded people.
I go to great lengths to keep my "swinging" lifestyle away from my vanilla world. Partly because of the attitude some people have towards "swinging" and partly because I don't want to have to explain the past 2 years of my life to my family!
I have told one vanilla friend. He didn't take it very well at all. He said he was disappointed in me and thought I was being stupid and messing up my life. He asked what was so special about swinging and came to the conclusion that it's just shagging loads of people and being a slag. Fair enough, that's his opinion. My point is that the snobbery works both ways.
You get some single males/females thinking they're better than vanilla's just cos they have this "swinger" label. That's their look-out. If they're so caught up in labels and thinking they're better than vanilla's, they'll get a shock one day.
I'm not bothered if I'm viewed as a swinger or not. I don't "choose" people based on what label they have. But I am in this scene, I am open minded and I do enjoy recreational sex, doesn't make me a swinger but it does make me part of this community.
I go to great lengths to keep my "swinging" lifestyle away from my vanilla world. Partly because of the attitude some people have towards "swinging" and partly because I don't want to have to explain the past 2 years of my life to my family!
I have told one vanilla friend. He didn't take it very well at all. He said he was disappointed in me and thought I was being stupid and messing up my life. He asked what was so special about swinging and came to the conclusion that it's just shagging loads of people and being a slag. Fair enough, that's his opinion. My point is that the snobbery works both ways.
You get some single males/females thinking they're better than vanilla's just cos they have this "swinger" label. That's their look-out. If they're so caught up in labels and thinking they're better than vanilla's, they'll get a shock one day.
I'm not bothered if I'm viewed as a swinger or not. I don't "choose" people based on what label they have. But I am in this scene, I am open minded and I do enjoy recreational sex, doesn't make me a swinger but it does make me part of this community.
Even though it is pretty much off topic.......
In what way do you think some swingers think they are better than vanillas?
(edit) also what shock do you think they will have?
I don't think I am 'better' than a vanilla person - but I do think I am a more open minded person than some guy who thinks women who shag are slags. In fact I don't think I could associate with someone who openly expressed an opinion like that with such derogatory terms.
In what way do you think some swingers think they are better than vanillas?
(edit) also what shock do you think they will have?
I don't think I am 'better' than a vanilla person - but I do think I am a more open minded person than some guy who thinks women who shag are slags. In fact I don't think I could associate with someone who openly expressed an opinion like that with such derogatory terms.
Quote by PoloLady
Even though it is pretty much off topic.......
In what way do you think some swingers think they are better than vanillas?
I don't think I am 'better' than a vanilla person - but I do think I am a more open minded person than some guy who thinks women who shag are slags. In fact I don't think I could associate with someone who openly expressed an opinion like that with such derogatory terms.
Me neither.
As an example. . . .
There are some men here on SH that I can stand at the bar drinking with, but only if there are no girls joining the chit chat. Pretty much as soon as a girly joins us, I have to excuse myself and leave the conversation due to my perception of their opinion and treatment of "sexually liberated" women.
How can I drink with them ?
If there are no girlies there, and the topic of conversation isn't girlies, they are otherwise pretty "decent" guys.
Sex God
Quote by dambuster
As an example. . . .
There are some men here on SH that I can stand at the bar drinking with, but only if there are no girls joining the chit chat. Pretty much as soon as a girly joins us, I have to excuse myself and leave the conversation due to my perception of their opinion and treatment of "sexually liberated" women.
How can I drink with them ?
If there are no girlies there, and the topic of conversation isn't girlies, they are otherwise pretty "decent" guys.
I think I understand where you are coming from with that Dammie
but....
I've found that since I've become involved in this "scene" I'm even less tolerant of that attitude than I was before
Perhaps because the complete and absolute open mindedness I have developed on this journey makes me feel that way.
Think I'll stop rambling now 'cause I'm in danegr of creating more questions than answers for myself
Orgasminator
Quote by PoloLady
Even though it is pretty much off topic.......
In what way do you think some swingers think they are better than vanillas?
(edit) also what shock do you think they will have?
I don't think I am 'better' than a vanilla person - but I do think I am a more open minded person than some guy who thinks women who shag are slags. In fact I don't think I could associate with someone who openly expressed an opinion like that with such derogatory terms.
Ok, well know for a fact that some, in this scene, think that because they've shagged loads of people it makes them a stud for the male and something else for a female version. Yet these same people are derogatory towards vanilla folk who go around shagging, calling them slappers, slags etc etc.
This is just what I've seen. I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush here!
I think most people here, in this scene, are more open-minded about sex and all of its forms. Some people see that as being "better" than a vanilla, I disagree, just because you (not you personally, Polo) know more and understand what goes on, you have the attitude for the scene etc it doesn't make you better, you're just not vanilla!
The shock I was referring to was the fact that a lot of people here have stated that they find people who are derogatory towards vanilla's a bit of a turn off. Can't remember why I said it now, I did have a valid point but its gone!
Quote by onlyme1981
Ok, well know for a fact that some, in this scene, think that because they've shagged loads of people it makes them a stud for the male and something else for a female version. Yet these same people are derogatory towards vanilla folk who go around shagging, calling them slappers, slags etc etc.
This is just what I've seen. I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush here!
Ah - gotcha
It is not just me who has seen it then - as that is pretty much what I was saying about the snobbery over what people actually call the activity of 'having a shag'.
I fail to see how anyone can claim to be open minded towards sex and the swinging lifestyle if they still think in derogatory terms about anyone enjoying straight forward sex/shagging. To me there is something wrong with the concept that if you call it 'swinging' it is OK to shag people as a recreational pastime - but if someone else is clueless that the swinging scene even exists and shags people for fun... they can be called something unpleasant.
Regardless of whether a woman thinks of herself as a swinger or not, it should not make her a slag and men who get to shag lots of women are not studs - they are lucky bastards
This could introduce a mini debate on the definition of a slag, and by what they are condemned to be such.
I once heard a working girl say 'I may be a prostitute, but I'm not a slag'. :shock:
Presumably she could differentiate in her way between the state of being a working girl and a 'slag'. Or was it that she felt she was exercising her choice, by not being approached by potential clients who would not have solicited her.
I once heard a working girl say 'I may be a prostitute, but I'm not a slag'. :shock:
Presumably she could differentiate in her way between the state of being a working girl and a 'slag'. Or was it that she felt she was exercising her choice, by not being approached by potential clients who would not have solicited her.
Yeah I also checked the dictionary. 
nice and gentle : exactly
But its an expression which I think contains more envy than condemnation. As it says more about those that use it, it seems redundant in the world of swinging. Swingers are not envious of a sexually active woman.
But in the conventional world she is more likely to be envied. Seen as a loose cannon and the likely scapegoat for a whole raft of conventional complainants.
nice and gentle : exactly
But its an expression which I think contains more envy than condemnation. As it says more about those that use it, it seems redundant in the world of swinging. Swingers are not envious of a sexually active woman.
But in the conventional world she is more likely to be envied. Seen as a loose cannon and the likely scapegoat for a whole raft of conventional complainants.