-You are not a man unless you follow these rules
1. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
2. It is acceptable for a man to cry if; a heroic dog dies to save its master, someone has just scrached your car, she is using her teeth.
3. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail out a friend in jail within 12 hours
4. If you have known a man for more than 24 hours his sister is off limits for ever - unless you plan to marry her
5. On a road journey, the strongest bladder dictates the pit stops, not the weakest
6. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man
7. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friends fridge is strictly forbidden
8. Unless you are in prision, never fight naked
9. If a mans fly is open, thats his proble, you didnt see anything
10. Women who claim they love to watch sport are treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers
11. Friends dont let friends wear Speedos EVER
12. You may only drink a fruity alcopop only when; your on a sunny tropical beach........and its delivered by a topless supermodel.......and its free
13. Never hesitate to take the last slice of pizza or the last beer; but never both
14. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she is withholding sex pending your response.
15. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up is you have too.
16. The morning after you and a girl was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken sex, the fact that your feeling weird and guilty is no reason to nail her again before the
discussion about what a big mistake it was
17. Never talk to another man in a public toilet, a simple nod is the only conversation required.
18. There is no reason for guys to watch mens ice skating or mens gymnastics
19. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination
20. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who is running late is five minutes.
For a girl, you are required to wait ten minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1 - 10 babe scale.
21. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal and moral duty.
Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it.
22. The universal compensation for friends who help you move house is beer.
23. Berfore dating a buddys ex, you are required to seek his permission, and he in return must grant it
24. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella
25. Never, ever slap another man
26. you must chastises any female who bitches about this post by telling her to'shut up you furry under armed, commie, lezzer'
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sex God
:moon:
