1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my dick when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No you prat, I paid £5 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Dave_Notts
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9 Things I Hate About Everyone
Quote by Dave__Notts
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my dick when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No you prat, I paid £5 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Dave_Notts
Hey thats the kinda things I ask!!
(seriously!) 
Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Quote by Dave__Notts
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my dick when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No you prat, I paid £5 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Dave_Notts
OK so you hate me! Did you really have to point out my flaws on here - don't you think this would have been better in a PM!
Quote by PoloLady
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my dick when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No you prat, I paid £5 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Dave_Notts
OK so you hate me! Did you really have to point out my flaws on here - don't you think this would have been better in a PM!
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
You are a star.................but at least I left the other 3 off the list. Its ok, I won't mention that trick with the ping pong balls. Your secret is safe with me :lol:
Dave_Notts
Sex God
Theres thousands of em Dave mate , people who speak before their brain is in gear , like they just have to make a sound no matter what it is .
I remember s friend telling me of a conversation he had in the pub
" How are ya mate ? "
"Not to good they buried my Grandad yesterday"
" Oh , is he dead then ?"
he said what he should have said is
" no he was just getting on our fucking nerves"
I remember s friend telling me of a conversation he had in the pub
" How are ya mate ? "
"Not to good they buried my Grandad yesterday"
" Oh , is he dead then ?"
he said what he should have said is
" no he was just getting on our fucking nerves"
Sex God
Trick with ping pong balls? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote by Dave__Notts
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my dick when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No you prat, I paid £5 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Dave_Notts
GR8 list man, made my night!!!!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
Orgasminator
Dave has someone upset you lately???
:laughabove:
:laughabove:
Orgasminator
I feel the Boss has spoken
Quote by Dave__Notts
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Thanks for that Dave,brilliant.(And the one above looks just a little familiar
) 
Orgasminator
When people point to an empty chair and ask " is anyone sitting there"
Antway Dave you sound like you had a bad day, maybe i should give you a chill pill
Antway Dave you sound like you had a bad day, maybe i should give you a chill pill
Warming the Bed
Quote by MQ
here are afew more phrses and opinions take a look and don't get to offended
dj
Very good!!! There are a few I really hate there like 'No offence but.....' in other words they are going to say something offensive to you
Or the equally cringe inducing - "with all due respect..."
Yeh right - go swivel on it!!
I get it every day at work... I work in a University library.
Student walks in and says "Could you help me, I'm looking for a book"....
Well fuck me mate, there's 8000 of 'em on shelves right in front of you...
Or I just point to the shelves and say "There you go, there's a load of 'em on shelves there"
Or another old favourite: "I know you'll think this is a really stupid question, but....."
Yes, it is bloody stupid, and gives me the perfect excuse to give an equally stupid / sarcastic / cynical / smartarse answer......
Students - Gotta love 'em, they were invented for us to take the piss out of!
Rick!
Student walks in and says "Could you help me, I'm looking for a book"....
Well fuck me mate, there's 8000 of 'em on shelves right in front of you...
Or I just point to the shelves and say "There you go, there's a load of 'em on shelves there"
Or another old favourite: "I know you'll think this is a really stupid question, but....."
Yes, it is bloody stupid, and gives me the perfect excuse to give an equally stupid / sarcastic / cynical / smartarse answer......
Students - Gotta love 'em, they were invented for us to take the piss out of!
Rick!
Orgasminator
Quote by Flirty Fruitcake
No offence but ..with all due respect you all want to have your cake and eat it.
:rotflmao: Nice one flirty fruitcake
As I was reading through your list, Dave, I couldn't help but recall the old T-shirt slogan / bumper sticker:
"Do I look like a fucking people person !" 
:twisted:
I know the feeling. I guess we all get days like that from time to time.
At other times, typically when I'll all loved up with a new partner, people can say the most inane things or even take outrageous liberties and I'll smile my most tolerant smile.
:)
"Do I look like a fucking people person !"
:twisted: I know the feeling. I guess we all get days like that from time to time.
At other times, typically when I'll all loved up with a new partner, people can say the most inane things or even take outrageous liberties and I'll smile my most tolerant smile.
:) 