Is it not time that sex was promoted as a competitive sport? After all, most other physical activites have some form of arena which allows contests to take place.
Maybe it could be arranged along the lines of ice-skating whereby judges allocate points, the maximum being 69? Or what about team events? I can almost see the sports pages now:
"The World 5-aside Masturbation Championship reaches its climax this weekend in the Polish city of Jakov, with semi-finals on Saturday and the final taking place on Sunday in front of an invited audience.
Libya's Tripoli Onanists take on The Havana Tossers today in one of the most eagerly awaited semi-finals of recent years. The Onanists have been on top form recently with a quarter-final win over the Baghdad Ballbusters. Despite starting strongly in that match, the Ballbusters faded in the second half and the Onanists came through with a late spurt.
The Havana Tossers have reached the last four with a sound thrashing of start-of-the-season favorites the Tirana Pearlpolishers. However, Tossers' manager Tess Teikal, has injury worries. Centre forward Mona Lott has a groin stain which could see her consigned to the subs bench, while goalkeeper Wayne Kallott's wrist injury is still not responding to treatment.
In the other semi-final, the Nairobi Knobheds take on the Buenos Aires Gonads in a battle of willies. Defying all the odds on the way to today's match, the lowly Knobheds have pulled off wins against the Washinton Clitori and the highly fancied Jakarta Labia. Upbeat Gonads manager Ger King has tried to play down fears that the underdogs could cause a major upset, saying the forthcoming game is one they should win with ease, but adding that "it could be one in the hand for the opposition if we don't get an early grip".
Both semis jerk off at 3pm."
Any other ideas?
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A competitive sport?
, but you'd defo get a job as a commentator 
Sex God
Nah, you'd never out-do Motty.
Not unless you do a lot of background research and come up with fascinating facts like:
'Not many people know that Charlie Chintickler, who plays with the Gonads goes to bed at night with his equipment wrapped in clingfilm to keep it supple for the next competition?'
Not unless you do a lot of background research and come up with fascinating facts like:
'Not many people know that Charlie Chintickler, who plays with the Gonads goes to bed at night with his equipment wrapped in clingfilm to keep it supple for the next competition?'
Quote by westerross
Nah, you'd never out-do Motty.
Not unless you do a lot of background research and come up with fascinating facts like:
'Not many people know that Charlie Chintickler, who plays with the Gonads goes to bed at night with his equipment wrapped in clingfilm to keep it supple for the next competition?'
But, I already have a trendy sheepskin coat... wouldn't that count for anything?
Sex God
Quote by delsutton
Nah, you'd never out-do Motty.
Not unless you do a lot of background research and come up with fascinating facts like:
'Not many people know that Charlie Chintickler, who plays with the Gonads goes to bed at night with his equipment wrapped in clingfilm to keep it supple for the next competition?'
But, I already have a trendy sheepskin coat... wouldn't that count for anything?
You've got the job!
