A friend in need

24 Sep 2004

To cut a long story short, a pal is very down on his luck - caused by the after effects of a relationship break up - and is currently staying in his caravan in my front driveway. It's weird because it's like he's both a neighbour and a lodger at the same time.
I'm also doing his laundry, cooking for him to make sure he's eating well and letting him use my address for job applications, etc... because that's what you do when your mates are in need. I do confess, though, that he's chipping in a few quid to the sinking fund so it's all mutually nice.
My pal is an ex 'professional' escort and specialist movie star. :twisted: These days he drives lorries, though. But he does on occasion do the odd non-fee paying or charging 'event' for a laugh...
This is what happened today..
Friend: "Heather, you're a f***king diamond, you are! If it weren't for you, I'd be in the gutter with no one and nothing. You've been the best mate I've ever had and a lot better than all my other bloke mates put together.... Tell you what gal, and I'm not just saying this, but even though I couldn't fancy you baked, you've been so good to me I'd shag you if you want me to..."

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

24 Sep 2004

OMG!

That`s right up there with `too late now girl, you should have fucked me last night`, when being given a goodbye hug!
Venusxxx

24 Sep 2004

errrrrrm.........
:gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged:
For fear of upsetting someone.
Steve
(He was joking right?? confused

Or is he just naturally conceited?)

24 Sep 2004

You should go for it, you may never get another offer like that

24 Sep 2004

Quote by Heather
Friend: "Heather, you're a f***king diamond, you are! If it weren't for you, I'd be in the gutter with no one and nothing. You've been the best mate I've ever had and a lot better than all my other bloke mates put together.... Tell you what gal, and I'm not just saying this, but even though I couldn't fancy you baked, you've been so good to me I'd shag you if you want me to..."
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

:shock: :shock: I am impressed, as back handed compliments go this one takes the biscuit! :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Who is this man? Because I am well-impressed. worship

:worship: :worship:
Roger.

24 Sep 2004

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
<<< quickly scribbles a sure fire hit in his "101 chatup lines" book" >>>
it was a very nice compliment i think, in a very round about way? dunno

no i'm sure it was! aren't you lovely heather?
neil x x x ;)

24 Sep 2004

Aaaaawwwww bless what a sweetie.... :giggle:
Shireen
xxx

24 Sep 2004

I would tie his caravan to the wheels of a jumbo jet. Then I would tie him naked to the back of the caravan. Then I would wait for the plane to take off.

24 Sep 2004

Quote by Heather
Friend: "Heather, you're a f***king diamond, you are! If it weren't for you, I'd be in the gutter with no one and nothing. You've been the best mate I've ever had and a lot better than all my other bloke mates put together.... Tell you what gal, and I'm not just saying this, but even though I couldn't fancy you baked, you've been so good to me I'd shag you if you want me to..."
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Does ge post on here? I'm sure I've had a similar PM.... confused

:lol: :lol: :shock:

24 Sep 2004

Quote by GregLondon
I would tie his caravan to the wheels of a jumbo jet. Then I would tie him naked to the back of the caravan. Then I would wait for the plane to take off.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! He`s a sweetheart, honestly he is. I wouldn`t fancy him baked, but he`s as funny as hell! lol

Venusxxx

24 Sep 2004

No wonder his relationship broke down with such classy lines as that!! lol

rofl

24 Sep 2004

you mean to tell me thats not a normal compliment??? i thought that was a good one in comparison to some of the ones i get on here!
lol

24 Sep 2004

I think thats a good compliment.... but only cos he's so good at his job most people have to PAY him.
Its like if your mate was a plumber and fixed your boiler for free when he was sleeping in your front garden.
Actualy that IS like he's the plumber... and your boiler needs fixing

:rotflmao:
(-need to stop watching German porn-)
Seriously tho... take all the compliments you get... and let them make you happy... you never know when they might run out!

24 Sep 2004

No, he did mean it... but the context of the 'don't fancy you baked' was really him saying that some friendships are best left UNsexual...
Nice of him to offer, though...
lol

:lol:

24 Sep 2004

Quote by Heather
No, he did mean it... but the context of the 'don't fancy you baked' was really him saying that some friendships are best left UNsexual...
Nice of him to offer, though...
:lol:

Bloody glad you translated that Heather.... I though he was on about your cooking.... :giggle:
Shireen
xxx

24 Sep 2004

Aw, bless!! Thats so sweet, at least he's showing his appreciation of you!!!

24 Sep 2004

Quote by shireen-steve
but the context of the 'don't fancy you baked' was really him saying that some friendships are best left UNsexual...

Bloody glad you translated that Heather.... I though he was on about your cooking....
And I thought Heather had just typoed 'naked'... rolleyes

24 Sep 2004

:laughabove: :laughabove:
Shireen
xxxx
So did I but I'm not going to admit that

24 Sep 2004

Go for it!
You know you wanna smile

24 Sep 2004

Quote by Heather
To cut a long story short, a pal is very down on his luck - caused by the after effects of a relationship break up - and is currently staying in his caravan in my front driveway. It's weird because it's like he's both a neighbour and a lodger at the same time.
I'm also doing his laundry, cooking for him to make sure he's eating well and letting him use my address for job applications, etc... because that's what you do when your mates are in need. I do confess, though, that he's chipping in a few quid to the sinking fund so it's all mutually nice.
My pal is an ex 'professional' escort and specialist movie star. :twisted: These days he drives lorries, though. But he does on occasion do the odd non-fee paying or charging 'event' for a laugh...
This is what happened today..
Friend: "Heather, you're a f***king diamond, you are! If it weren't for you, I'd be in the gutter with no one and nothing. You've been the best mate I've ever had and a lot better than all my other bloke mates put together.... Tell you what gal, and I'm not just saying this, but even though I couldn't fancy you baked, you've been so good to me I'd shag you if you want me to..."
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Hmmmmmmmmm...............I could do with a week's holiday down south, think I'll book myself in at Heather's holiday home, sounds great! Where can I park my caravan hunny? What time is the evening meal??? I'd give you a quick poke too....well, i'm half baked wink

sorry it's the jack daniels....honest!
KinkyLizard

25 Sep 2004

He`s a top bloke lol

Hope he gets things sorted, say hi from us :thumbup:
love Mars

25 Sep 2004

Kinky... Even though Terry wouldn't mind (and he'd probably hold the guys trousers for him!), somehow I can't face it either. confused

And it's been a long time since I turned down and truckie... :twisted:
Venus... He's doing fine - now - but we only just managed to spot him jumping on the ferry to go chase the lady down to Greece.
Ain't love grand...? rolleyes

25 Sep 2004

Quote by Heather
And it's been a long time since I turned down and truckie... :twisted:

Not true

:( :( :( :( lol

Glad your mate's back on the up.