A Good Deed Goes Badly Wrong.

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

I'm home alone today. Dawnie is at work, kids are at school, and I've crawled off my manflu deathbed to try and do afew domestic chores. Not after scoring any brownie points, just thought I'd try and help.
So after clearing up in the lounge, I decided to push the vacuum cleaner around. It's one of those turbo mega suck versions, and from underneath the sofa comes an ink cartridge from one of the kids pens. Not an empty one that they've careless dropped. A full one. :shock: You can see where this is going, can't you.
Anyway to cut a long story short we now have a wonderful inky blue pattern across our lounge carpet that wasn't there five minutes ago.
Hey, at least it proves I went right up to the corners of the room lol

Does this mean I should have stayed in bed, or am I now sleeping in the shed for a week.
Ian

dekntan

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

It means you need to rearrange the furniture to cover the mark before dawnie sees it :lol2:
Then when she finds it blame the dog/cat/sock eating monster/spiders/snakes/ginu rats :smug:
Or dash to BnQ buy some flooring get it laid before she finishes work and hey presto pretend its a early xmas box :smug:

Ian

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by dekntan
It means you need to rearrange the furniture to cover the mark before dawnie sees it :lol2:

Move the furniture lol

We need a sofa the size of Belgium to hide these stripes.
I think I am gonna have to blame it on the boogeyman

essex34m

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Womens logic dictates that Dawnie will also see this as an opportunity to have the room decorated, new carpet.
Making it happen will be your pennance.
And you will never be allowed to forget.

dekntan

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by Ian
It means you need to rearrange the furniture to cover the mark before dawnie sees it :lol2:

Move the furniture lol

We need a sofa the size of Belgium to hide these stripes.
I think I am gonna have to blame it on the boogeyman
Go buy a new rug :lol:

Ian

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by essex34m
Womens logic dictates that Dawnie will also see this as an opportunity to have the room decorated, new carpet.
Making it happen will be your pennance.
And you will never be allowed to forget.

Dont you start.
The "new" bathroom has been several months in its rebuilding, and I've been told I can finish it over christmas. And.... if that gets finished quick enough then I can always wallpaper the stairs and hallway.
If I add the lounge, then that'll be half the house waiting for my handywork.
I'm ill don't you know wink

the_Laird

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

You can't rush diy Ian
cool

dekntan

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by the_Laird
You can't rush diy Ian

That's the blokes answer :lol2:

Ian

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by dekntan
You can't rush diy Ian

That's the blokes answer :lol2:
Maybe so, but how many blokes sit there and think
"oh yes that perfectly hung wallpaper needs to be removed, and replaced by some more wallpaper."
btw this still doesn't help me with the inky carpet.
Dawnie's just been on the phone and she asked if everything was ok.
OK, whose grassed me up already lol

Unknown User

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Try rubbin milk into it! apparently milk's great for biro and ink wink

(Disclaimer: if this makes matters worse, you don't know me, nor have you ever heard of me... bolt

)

Ian

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by jaymar
Try rubbin milk into it! apparently milk's great for biro and ink
(Disclaimer: if this makes matters worse, you don't know me, nor have you ever heard of me... )

The closest I could find was some extra thick double cream. - confused

GnV

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by Ian
You can't rush diy Ian

That's the blokes answer :lol2:
Maybe so, but how many blokes sit there and think
"oh yes that perfectly hung wallpaper needs to be removed, and replaced by some more wallpaper."
btw this still doesn't help me with the inky carpet.
Dawnie's just been on the phone and she asked if everything was ok.
OK, whose grassed me up already lol

I see another vacancy for chatroom op coming up...
when she gets back Ian, you are the Christmas turkey without a doubt!
innocent

Unknown User

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Despite the temptation, do not rub!!!! lol

(seriously)
Go find a pro carpet cleaner now and get them to come out now and get it out, otherwise you're gonna have real trouble.

daredevil_32

Master of Sex

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

awwwwwwwwwwwwww u r so dead lol

Dave__Notts

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

You've been Dave'd lol

Dave_Notts

Ian

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by Dave__Notts
You've been Dave'd
Dave_Notts

From experience Dave, do you think my bruises will have healed by Christmas

Unknown User

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Daughter's got a special felt pen thingy that makes ink disappear. Maybe you could pop to W H Smiths and see how many they've got? dunno

Dave__Notts

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by Ian
You've been Dave'd
Dave_Notts

From experience Dave, do you think my bruises will have healed by Christmas
Let me think. 9 days till Christmas, force of Dawns punch will be directly proportional to size of stain and how hard it is to remove.
No fecking chance. They will be black and blue like mine
Dave_Notts

essex34m

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Men, you should be ashamed!
One of the brotherhood is in trouble and all you can do is mock him.
Ian, have a read of and

Lilmiss

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Get down your local morrisons and rent a Rug Doctor carpet cleaner... If that doesn't shift it..nothing will
:thumbup:

Ian

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by essex34m
Men, you should be ashamed!
One of the brotherhood is in trouble and all you can do is mock him.
Ian, have a read of this and this

:worship: :worship:
Now all I'd have to explain is where several cans of Dawnie's hairspray has gone.

fabio

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Doesn't the "vanish" carpet cleaner work to get rid of ink stains???
just a shot... all the women are probably going "ooh noooooo!!! lol

" right about now...
my advice.... start cooking dawnie's favourite meal, and get down the petrol station for some flowers!!!
this could be a proper grovel job.....
if you still have "two" left after this... consider yourself lucky!!!!

the_Laird

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by GnV
I see another vacancy for chatroom op coming up...

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

essex34m

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by Ian
Men, you should be ashamed!
One of the brotherhood is in trouble and all you can do is mock him.
Ian, have a read of this and this

:worship: :worship:
Now all I'd have to explain is where several cans of Dawnie's hairspray has gone.
While the carpet is airing and drying, you nip off to the supermarket, and replace what you have used.
Pretty simple really.
So is the plan.

Unknown User

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

crack open a load more blue ink cartridges and do the whole carpet....then tell her you surprised her with a whole new carpet fitted in time for christmas....thus scoring some fab brownie points!!

Unknown User

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by Bonedigger
crack open a load more blue ink cartridges and do the whole carpet....then tell her you surprised her with a whole new carpet fitted in time for christmas....thus scoring some fab brownie points!!

And then see what colour Dawnie's knees are in the morning! rotflmao

Peanut

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Isn't this what home contents insurance is for?
Nice Christmas present for you both... a nice new carpet biggrin

anais

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

I have used hairspray at work when the lads left "I wuz ere" all over my brand new office filing cabinet! Worked a treat! Was even better watching them do it with the threat of knee capping if they didn't :lol2: :lol2:
Ps what time is Dawnie home biggrin

Dawnie

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by anais
Ps what time is Dawnie home

NOW

:x:x:x
FFS Ian you daft bastid! One day, one flipping day you are left home alone and you ruin the sodding carpet!!!!
And you post on the forum for all to see, have you got a death wish ?????? :x
I don't know what to say other than, sofa for you and my Christmas present better be something expensive!

essex34m

Sex God

0 likes 16 Dec 2008

Quote by Dawnie
I don't know what to say other than, sofa for you and my Christmas present better be something expensive!

A new carpet?